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How to become a creepy MODEL...
OK, we've had threads on here for a long time about how to become a creepy photographer and what constitutes one. I think that in fairness, we must examine this from both sides. What makes a creepy model, and how does one become that way? I'll start off: Call the photographer every day leading up to a shoot and ask him how well done he likes his boiled rabbit.... Dec 02 05 05:28 pm Link never shave your armpits. Dec 02 05 05:32 pm Link show up to a shoot wearing long sleeves...in the middle of summer...just to hide the needle tracks... Dec 02 05 05:33 pm Link Go to announcements where it clearly says no links and post a link along with PLEASE VOTE FOR ME Dec 02 05 05:33 pm Link Go to a shoot where you knowwwwwww there is gonna be a MUA and have chin hairs. What is wrong with people...if you make sure your legs, underarms, and bikini area are hair free, why not check the face. I just don't get it...and then I have to be the one to bring it up. "Umm, excuse me, you have a 5 inch hair on your chin...mind if I pluck it???" Dec 02 05 05:38 pm Link flirt with the photographer and assistant and makeup artist and stylist and art director. Make plenty of dirty jokes as well. Grab your crotch and make an up/down motion with your hand. Then when someone makes a sexual innuendo comment towards you give them a dirty look and act like you're being put upon. Dec 02 05 05:38 pm Link Marcia Dionne wrote: LOL, omg. Have you seriously done that? Dec 02 05 05:39 pm Link beat your escort(who also happens to be your boyfriend) over his dome with a nine inch heel, a studded belt and an empty bottle of jack, because he's drunk and you DON'T want him hanging around the shoot... Dec 02 05 05:39 pm Link do the same "look"...a la derek zoolander...in everything. and make it ridiculous. Dec 02 05 05:40 pm Link exibit stalkerific behavior. Dec 02 05 05:40 pm Link Holy crap, Adrienne, you reminded me of a major creepy factor but I decided I was going to behave for the rest of the day  Dec 02 05 05:42 pm Link here's another real world one: Eat only baby spinach. ONLY BABY SPINACH and water. When offered anything else, act like you're considering it...ask questions about it, and then pull out your personal bowl of baby spinach...with your personal knife, fork, and spoon that you brought. OH...and if someone touches your personal utensils...wash them...twice...with soap and water. Dec 02 05 05:43 pm Link show up drunk, with an escort(who also happens to be your best girlfriend and was uninvited), get in not one, not two, but THREE arguments with her over the course of the shoot and then pass out while gettin' it on with her... oh, and then try and collect a fee for the BOTH of you... AND copies of the shoot... Dec 02 05 05:43 pm Link MarkMarek wrote: Ya right. Try not to pull another thread hijack move~ Dec 02 05 05:45 pm Link ant bites all over the legs are nice...hives are even better... especially for upskirt and nude shoots... Dec 02 05 05:45 pm Link Get naked...dry hump everyone in the room...except one guy...give that one guy dirty looks every time while you dry hump someone else. Dec 02 05 05:48 pm Link steal a car from a drug dealer, so you don't miss the shoot... Dec 02 05 05:48 pm Link raveneyes wrote: were YOU that "one guy"? Dec 02 05 05:49 pm Link no, but I was pissed on behalf of that one guy Dec 02 05 05:52 pm Link I'm always that one guy  Dec 02 05 05:55 pm Link raveneyes wrote: that's mighty nice of you...;-) Dec 02 05 05:56 pm Link Claim that you look like this.....  when you actually look like this.....  Dec 02 05 06:06 pm Link Eric Muss-Barnes wrote: you just made my day...thanks... Dec 02 05 06:10 pm Link raveneyes wrote: I actually know a girl who does this. And she just got out of a mental ward. They probably should have kept her. lol Dec 02 05 07:49 pm Link Right after the photo shoot, let your crazy side show! Grab the photographer by the arm and say, "Can you print all those photos up right now for me?" Then tell the photographer you MUST have a CD or copies of ALL the images RIGHT NOW!! Shove the photographer into a car and insist on driving him to where ever he needs to go to be able to produce the images for you. Insist that you have to have these right now and that you have nothing better to do than watch him make these pictures for you. Drive 20 miles over the speed limit so that the photographer can't jump out of the car! Insist " ... that is how we drive in Germany!" You scare the shit out of the photographer by nearly getting into an accident on the freeway at 100 mph! At that point, he will agree to anything just so he doesn't die in a car wreak with you! Then after the photographer explains that once he gives these images to you, that he never wants to see you again ... call him up the next week like nothing happened and ask him if he'd like to shoot with you again! If he has a brain in his head, he wont ever get in a car with you again! It happened to me ... once!  Oh one more thing .. lie about your age! This was a German model I met in a nightclub ... she was using a false ID! I don't do the "club" scene for finding models anymore! LOL But if there are any wildly beautiful German models who love to drive fast and MUST have it all right now ... call me! I could always use some excitement in my life! (Just kidding!) ROFLMAO! I've been so lucky that this is the only crazy experience I've had. She was quite attractive and a good model too. Dec 02 05 08:55 pm Link Frequently during the shoot, walk up to the camera and wrap both hands around the lens on the camera, lick it .... and in a soft purring voice, ask, "Don't you have a bigger lens ... I like BIG lenses." Keep stroking the lens and lick the glass ... the stop, turn around, and say "I'm tired, I need a break ... what do you have to drink? .... I'm going to puke if I don't get something to drink ... then puke anyway, but make sure it's on the photographer's new backdrop he just bought (or on the nice fur rug he has for a prop ... at least something expensive." Dec 02 05 09:03 pm Link Patrick Walberg wrote: haha! holy smokes! :-o Dec 02 05 09:11 pm Link come to the shoot, fresh from snorting coke, and we ain"t talking the one with bubbles. Dec 02 05 09:14 pm Link Stalk a fellow model for 2 1/2 years only to get a restraining order. Claim a photographer raped you for attention. Dec 02 05 09:21 pm Link Nikki S. wrote: I actually love to drive fast (legally!) and have worked at sports car racetracks as a part of a crew. There are some women who are great drivers! I'd have no problem riding wih Danica Patrick for example! But not someone who "thinks" she is qualified for the Indy 500! LOL Dec 02 05 09:26 pm Link Eric Muss-Barnes wrote: sounds like one of my old playboy shoots, ever thrown up while shooting? damn i came close on that one, the goodyear blimp had less stretch marks,and was more attractive as well.. Dec 02 05 09:27 pm Link chapa wrote: so you've shot in vegas as well? Dec 02 05 09:29 pm Link Doug Mackay DMP wrote: Umm. We talkin' about a certain dark haired model in Vegas who was tweakin' so bad in that hotel room I was afraid for not only her safety but ours too? Dec 02 05 09:35 pm Link Visions Of Excess Studi wrote: worse this was here in oz, but damn i remember that one as well, i swear , i am travelling with a priest next time. Dec 02 05 09:37 pm Link Hey I have had a model Nod off during the shoot, The type of nodding off you see heroin addicts do, I then escorted her to her Chauffer driven Mercedes with Blacked out windows after 1 roll - She paid in Crisp $100.00 dollar bills , So I didn't care! Dec 02 05 10:19 pm Link Patrick Walberg wrote: Ohhhh...I forgot about her. This girl definitely frightened me... Dec 02 05 11:27 pm Link Hide in a closet, and claim that "they" are after you. And that you're a clone. Dec 02 05 11:32 pm Link During a break in a photos session, sit down nude in the photographer's lap and quote your "overnight rates". Yeah, that happened. Dec 02 05 11:32 pm Link adrienne of Zswana wrote: While I was away with my friend during the Thanksgiving weekend with her and her family.. her mom pointed out this big hair on her chin... My friend was so mortified.. honestly I never noticed it. Not that I have a reason to look that close anyways. Dec 02 05 11:36 pm Link Smell. Dec 02 05 11:38 pm Link |
