Forums > Model Colloquy > Friends/family seeing your nude photos

Model

Greeneyed Goddess

Posts: 236

Salt Lake City, Utah, US

So, it seems like I am doing more and more of artsy nudes lately. (I don't include them in my port) and it made me wonder...

Nude models: how do you feel about your friends/family/potential employers etc seeing you nude online?

Are you comfortable with that? Why/why not?

Just trying to figure our my own feelings here... smile

Feb 15 13 01:42 pm Link

Model

Anna Von Leigh

Posts: 120

Chico, California, US

I personally would never shoot anything I wouldn't want the world to see. Because face it, it's the Internet and photos get around if we like it or not.

Feb 15 13 02:04 pm Link

Photographer

Francisco Castro

Posts: 2629

Cincinnati, Ohio, US

If you're going to shoot anything, not just nudes, assume that people you know will see it. Even photos that are meant to be private have a tendency of getting out.

Your best protection if you do nudes, is keep it classy. Never trashy. If it does get out, you can still hold your head high, look people straight in the eye, and say, "It's art. Not porn.".

Feb 15 13 02:10 pm Link

Model

Crystal Rose Modeling

Posts: 441

Sacramento, California, US

Greeneyed Goddess wrote:
So, it seems like I am doing more and more of artsy nudes lately. (I don't include them in my port) and it made me wonder...

Nude models: how do you feel about your friends/family/potential employers etc seeing you nude online?

Are you comfortable with that? Why/why not?

Just trying to figure our my own feelings here... smile

Although I think there are many models who do awesome nudes, I personally couldn't do it myself for the reasons you listed above. My family would slap me silly and I am just starting my professional career in regards to my day job...definitely don't want potential employers landing on my photos and potentially losing a job prospect. Slim chances, but once photos are out there, they are out there.

Feb 15 13 02:15 pm Link

Photographer

SPV Photo

Posts: 808

Las Vegas, Nevada, US

Francisco Castro wrote:
If you're going to shoot anything, not just nudes, assume that people you know will see it. Even photos that are meant to be private have a tendency of getting out.

Your best protection if you do nudes, is keep it classy. Never trashy. If it does get out, you can still hold your head high, look people straight in the eye, and say, "It's art. Not porn.".

Of course, if you choose to do porn, keep your head high too.

Fuck judgmental people.

Feb 15 13 02:18 pm Link

Model

MatureModelMM

Posts: 2843

Detroit, Michigan, US

I have always shared my nude work with my close friends and my sister.  My family knows that I model for artistic nudes and are interested to see what I have done.

In addition to all the other artists and photographers I have posed for over the years, I have also modelled in the nude for a woman I work with and a friend.

Feb 15 13 02:23 pm Link

Model

E e v a

Posts: 1724

Nashville, Tennessee, US

Regarding family, I have informed them of doing nude work for art style. They do not snoop my modeling, and support me.

Regarding my work, the stage name is important. I do not show them any of my modeling, because my superiors simply have no business knowing. It does not affect my job, and it is my personal life.

Feb 15 13 02:30 pm Link

Model

Greeneyed Goddess

Posts: 236

Salt Lake City, Utah, US

Francisco Castro wrote:
Your best protection if you do nudes, is keep it classy. Never trashy. If it does get out, you can still hold your head high, look people straight in the eye, and say, "It's art. Not porn.".

Well of course. I have a guideline: if i can hang it in my house and then allow my future kids walk past by it every day, I'll do it. smile

Feb 15 13 04:38 pm Link

Model

Greeneyed Goddess

Posts: 236

Salt Lake City, Utah, US

MatureModelMM wrote:
I have always shared my nude work with my close friends and my sister.  My family knows that I llama for artistic nudes and are interested to see what I have done.

That's good to hear from a mature llama.

Feb 15 13 04:39 pm Link

Model

Greeneyed Goddess

Posts: 236

Salt Lake City, Utah, US

SPV Photo wrote:
Of course, if you choose to do porn, keep your head high too.

Fuck judgmental people.

I so agree.

Feb 15 13 04:39 pm Link

Photographer

Eric212Grapher

Posts: 3780

Saint Louis, Missouri, US

Your MM portfolio says, "Shoot nudes: Yes"

If you were wondering if your friends and family know, they probably do already if they visited your MM page. They probably imagine much more graphic sexual images than you have. If this is the case, showing the artistry of your nudes would be a better situation.

If they haven't visited your portfolio, some models make two portfolios on MM - one nude and one non-nude. The nude port can link to your non-nude, but do not link to the nude one. If you get inquiries, you can decide whether to share the other portfolio or not.

Feb 15 13 06:22 pm Link

Photographer

Aaron Lewis Photography

Posts: 5217

Catskill, New York, US

This has been asked at least a million times. If you're not comfortable with your family seeing you nude then don't do it. They'll see it sooner or later.

If they have a problem with it and you don't then you have to decide whether to continue doing it or not. At that point it's a personal thing. How much do you care what they think.

Feb 15 13 06:28 pm Link

Model

CRIMSON REIGN

Posts: 842

Baltimore, Maryland, US

Most of my opinions have already been posted in the above statements. I use a stage name for nude work in the event I choose to go back into the cooperate world. Since I am married with a teenager, most of my nude work is of an artistic nature. I may glam it up a bit with jewelry, hats, long gloves, etc., but ultimately, I try to keep it classy. Hell, I've shown my work to my grandmother.

Feb 15 13 09:56 pm Link

Model

Random One

Posts: 35

Washington, District of Columbia, US

Friends: no problem with my close friends. Most of them have seen them at one point, especially if they've come to my house where I have some of my shots framed and on the wall.

Family: Depends. My mom has seen my portfolio. I'm not very comfortable with my dad even seeing me naked, let alone knowing I model (though he did stumble across some hard copy pix I once left out).

Employer: Never.

Feb 15 13 10:00 pm Link

Model

Tiffiney C

Posts: 570

Los Angeles, California, US

My mom LOVES my nude work. She likes everything but she puts the nudes on her walls. Very supportive.

My little brother doesn't like it but he doesn't hate me for it.

My father hasn't seen any. I'm sure I would know if he did lol

Being open about what you do is the best policy, that way they aren't surprised when they come across something.

Depending on where you work.  Shooting nude may not be the best decision. If you've not done it already, that is something to consider. It may cause issues in the work place with people who do not understand art and may even lead to harassment from men who've seen it.

Examples of my nude work www.modelmayhem.com/nudietc


Tiff
www.TiffineyC.com

Feb 15 13 10:02 pm Link

Photographer

R Bruce Duncan

Posts: 1178

Santa Barbara, California, US

When we got proofs back, this girl:

18+

https://photos.modelmayhem.com/photos/1 … d1d2d1.jpg

announced that she was bringing her family over to look at them.

Father, Mother, Brother.

Her Father ended up making a sizable print order, and when they left, took me aside and told me never to give up my art.

I do not think, however, that these body paint shots were among them.

LOL.

Feb 15 13 10:37 pm Link

Photographer

Nor-Cal Photography

Posts: 3720

Walnut Creek, California, US

Aaron Lewis Photography wrote:
This has been asked at least a million times. If you're not comfortable with your family seeing you nude then don't do it. They'll see it sooner or later.

If they have a problem with it and you don't then you have to decide whether to continue doing it or not. At that point it's a personal thing. How much do you care what they think.

1 - well stated.

Am I solely a photographer now, but I have done nude llamaing. My feelings are and were that I really don't care what others think. They can think what they like. It's my concern and not their concern.

But just one worthless opinion.   smile

Feb 16 13 01:42 pm Link

Photographer

Laubenheimer

Posts: 9317

New York, New York, US

SPV Photo wrote:
Of course, if you choose to do porn, keep your head high too.

Fuck judgmental people.

i think keeping your head high only applies to male models.

Feb 16 13 02:13 pm Link

Model

Koryn

Posts: 39496

Boston, Massachusetts, US

I used to worry about it, but then six years passed and it never became an issue, so I stopped caring. I think that people who know me in daily life would be so surprised to learn I'd worked as a nude model...well, it's just not something anyone would "suspect" of me.

Feb 16 13 02:20 pm Link

Photographer

ontherocks

Posts: 23575

Salem, Oregon, US

don't put it on the internet if you don't want people to see it. odds are they will find out eventually. so if you aren't ok with that then don't do it. if you are a nude model (or photographer) i think you just have to own it and be proud of it and ignore the haters.

if you want to get a job working with kids having nude photos online isn't really the smartest thing ever.

Feb 16 13 02:21 pm Link

Model

Saedcantas

Posts: 445

Saint Saviour, Saint Saviour, United Kingdom

I wish I could show them to literally everyone. I want to splash them all over my fb page big_smile But then I don't want my own comfort with nudity and my form to weird my friends and family out so I try to compromise and just show the sensible ones... lol

Feb 16 13 04:13 pm Link

Model

Dekilah

Posts: 5236

Dearborn, Michigan, US

Most of my friends have seen me naked either in person, online, or in art. Granted most of my friends are models or photographers.

Family is a different story. I do not deal with my extended family, I have one cousin who I told, but that is all I am aware of. My mother knows and supports me and even asks to see my new work, my three siblings know but it never really comes up, my dad does not know I model nude to my knowledge. The reason he does not know (or at least why I have not told him) is that he is very conservative. I tried testing the water asking him what he thought of VS models and he thought they showed too much, so I dropped it at that. If he finds out, he does, if not I am not stirring the water on something that really does not affect him. I have discussed this with my mother and she agrees it is the best approach.

I am extremely happy with what I do. I love what I do. Sure, there are shots I might not be proud of in particular or that I thought were great at the time, but now I think I have improved, but I have never done anything I am ashamed of.

Feb 16 13 09:21 pm Link

Photographer

KonstantKarma

Posts: 2513

Campobello, South Carolina, US

Dekilah wrote:
Most of my friends have seen me naked either in person, online, or in art. Granted most of my friends are models or photographers.

Lucky bastards.

Feb 16 13 09:31 pm Link

Model

Toria Royale

Posts: 145

Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

SPV Photo wrote:
Fuck judgmental people.

You're my favorite person on the internet today smile

Feb 17 13 07:50 am Link

Model

Koryn

Posts: 39496

Boston, Massachusetts, US

Dekilah wrote:
My mother knows and supports me and even asks to see my new work, my three siblings know but it never really comes up, my dad does not know .... If he finds out, he does, if not I am not stirring the water on something that really does not affect him.

I have a similar mentality about it. Always have.

My body is mine. It does not belong to my family. Only I can make decisions about its use. If family find out, and become angry, so be it. Their problem, not mine.

Ultimately, if you're over the age of 18 and live on your own, it's absolutely NO ONE's business, except for your own.

Feb 17 13 08:40 am Link

Photographer

ontherocks

Posts: 23575

Salem, Oregon, US

it's good to have people on your side in life. so i'd say it's one thing for them to be upset but if they were so upset that they cut you off that could be a bad thing. a lot of things beyond our control can happen in life. it's good to have people you can turn to in times of trouble.

Koryn Locke wrote:
My body is mine. It does not belong to my family. Only I can make decisions about its use. If family find out, and become angry, so be it. Their problem, not mine.

Feb 17 13 10:57 am Link

Model

Koryn

Posts: 39496

Boston, Massachusetts, US

twoharts wrote:
it's good to have people on your side in life. so i'd say it's one thing for them to be upset but if they were so upset that they cut you off that could be a bad thing. a lot of things beyond our control can happen in life. it's good to have people you can turn to in times of trouble.

To "cut someone off" assumes that person was receiving support, specifically financial support, to begin with. At least in my own case, I've not received financial support from my family since I graduated high school, and was never close with my family emotionally. I'm far closer, emotionally, to unrelated friends than to any blood relation. In the culture I grew up in, to ask for support from your family after moving out, or to "move back home," is the ultimate insult to your parents. Also, asking for any sort of money from them. It is like saying they did not raise you with enough skills to be independent; it's a slap in their faces.

I would be more likely to be emotionally "cut off" for failing to be able to take care of myself in the world. With nude modeling, my parents would probably be pretty embarrassed for awhile, and CLAIM it was shameful, but if I ever ASKED for anything from them, my mother would never respect me again. Ever. I'm 30 now; I've gotten through some hard times on my own (I don't go into details about that stuff, but definitely struggles) and I have never asked for anything from my family. I get my own.

People are surprised when I say it, but the dishonor I associate with asking for "fall back" from your parents is similar to the sense of dishonor I associate with people who suffer from hard drug addiction, or let themselves reach a point so low they are out of control, in some way.

Feb 17 13 11:48 am Link

Model

Axioma

Posts: 6822

Antwerp, Antwerp, Belgium

Koryn Locke wrote:
My body is mine. It does not belong to my family. Only I can make decisions about its use. If family find out, and become angry, so be it. Their problem, not mine.

twoharts wrote:
it's good to have people on your side in life. so i'd say it's one thing for them to be upset but if they were so upset that they cut you off that could be a bad thing. a lot of things beyond our control can happen in life. it's good to have people you can turn to in times of trouble.

While that may be true and closest to what your own personal values predescribe, it does not give you any right to paternalisticly decide what actions others should take or according to what values others should shape their lives. As a nudemodel myself, I understand Koryns standpoint. Honestly I do not think that non-nudemodels can imagine our positions fully, even if they are stylists/photographers/... and do nudeshoots.

Family is extremely important and I would never do anything to intentionally harm them, but there is a degree of freedom that they should respect.

Feb 17 13 11:54 am Link

Photographer

photodorset

Posts: 845

Bournemouth, England, United Kingdom

The toughest thing is probably the timing of someone telling you they have seen you nude. If it's unexpected you make not have a good reply. Having said that make sure you have a reply ready for any comment. If people think you are worried about other people seeing the images then will have some control over you. so, when someone says 'I saw a nude photo of you' just reply 'yeah, so what'. Give them no-where to go.

Feb 17 13 12:13 pm Link

Photographer

Jay Farrell

Posts: 13408

Nashville, Tennessee, US

SPV Photo wrote:

Of course, if you choose to do porn, keep your head high too.

Fuck judgmental people.

This!

Feb 17 13 01:06 pm Link

Model

MatureModelMM

Posts: 2843

Detroit, Michigan, US

photodorset wrote:
The toughest thing is probably the timing of someone telling you they have seen you nude. If it's unexpected you make not have a good reply. Having said that make sure you have a reply ready for any comment. If people think you are worried about other people seeing the images then will have some control over you. so, when someone says 'I saw a nude photo of you' just reply 'yeah, so what'. Give them no-where to go.

That's how I feel as well, give them an answer that minimizes any possible negativity.  I have been recognized by total strangers a few times over the years, all of them middle aged women who had seen the photos or artwork in gallery displays.

A good reply might be to ask which one of your photos they had seen, and then just say that was always one of your favorites.

Feb 17 13 01:48 pm Link

Photographer

ontherocks

Posts: 23575

Salem, Oregon, US

and if they don't respect that freedom? you will cut them off? i'm a realist. i just think it's good have to people who have your back. life can get really, really hard sometimes. it's good to know there's help if you need it. so many single moms running around. of course that help could come in the form of government assistance or from friends. i'm not saying family is the only answer. it's just that i sense a certain recklessness in the "f*ck you i'll do what i please" approach to life. i used to be like that when i was young but then i got sick and i couldn't be fiercely independent like that anymore. life happens. sometimes it does take a village (government assistance comes as a result of the villagers paying their taxes).

Axioma wrote:
Family is extremely important and I would never do anything to intentionally harm them, but there is a degree of freedom that they should respect.

Feb 17 13 02:35 pm Link

Model

Koryn

Posts: 39496

Boston, Massachusetts, US

twoharts wrote:
and if they don't respect that freedom? you will cut them off?

I will never cut anyone off. There were times my mother fell out of my life, because she simply couldn't deal with the fact that I was not living according to the way she felt was appropriate. That was fine, because it was her choice to do so. I'm always willing to pick up the phone, be pleasant and polite if someone calls. I don't cut anyone off, unless they're using drugs, or stealing from me. When she was ready to contact me, I was fine and good with reconnecting.

twoharts wrote:
. so many single moms running around

Because we live in a country that provides us with family planning choices, I'm not going to be a single mother any time soon -- unless (at some point in a future I do not realistically foresee) I made a conscious decision to be, and was at least a middle class homeowner with a comfortable job.

Other women feel differently, but I personally would never bring a child into the world, for whom I could not readily provide a comfortable lifestyle.

Feb 17 13 05:13 pm Link

Photographer

BarryH

Posts: 864

Taipei City, Taipei City, Taiwan

You can't choose your family, but why on earth would you want to be "friends" with people who can't accept you for who you are?

Feb 17 13 08:46 pm Link

Model

P I X I E

Posts: 35440

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Most of my friends have seen nude photos of me. My parents also know I'm a nude model. Some of my coworkers know I moonlight as a burlesque stripteaser/entertainer. I met my husband at a fetish shoot.

No problems here.

Feb 17 13 09:12 pm Link

Photographer

afplcc

Posts: 6020

Fairfax, Virginia, US

Greeneyed Goddess wrote:
So, it seems like I am doing more and more of artsy nudes lately. (I don't include them in my port) and it made me wonder...

Nude models: how do you feel about your friends/family/potential employers etc seeing you nude online?

Are you comfortable with that? Why/why not?

Just trying to figure our my own feelings here... smile

1.  The reality is that there are so many nudes out there for free, that the chances of being "caught" aren't great.

2.  The best philosophy is don't pose for anything you wouldn't want a spouse or family to see.  I've talked to a couple of models who've grappling with this decision.  They talked about parents who weren't wild about their innocent, virginal daughter getting nude but they knew about it.  It's one thing to be uncomfortable talking about a subject.  It's another to know that it will end a relationship.

Ed

Feb 18 13 12:19 pm Link

Model

Greeneyed Goddess

Posts: 236

Salt Lake City, Utah, US

photodorset wrote:
The toughest thing is probably the timing of someone telling you they have seen you nude. If it's unexpected you make not have a good reply. Having said that make sure you have a reply ready for any comment. If people think you are worried about other people seeing the images then will have some control over you. so, when someone says 'I saw a nude photo of you' just reply 'yeah, so what'. Give them no-where to go.

Great advice, I'll keep that in mind!

Feb 20 13 12:30 pm Link

Model

Greeneyed Goddess

Posts: 236

Salt Lake City, Utah, US

I have an advantage that my whole family are in Russia and they do not really speak English to hang on on the foreign websites. I hope they will never get to see nude photos of me because of that.

Feb 20 13 12:32 pm Link

Photographer

Eastfist

Posts: 3582

Green Bay, Wisconsin, US

Modeling, especially nude modeling, is a very narcissistic act. So, to me, if you don't want anyone to see it now, or long after you've died, then you shouldn't do it.  Because, say, 50 years after you've died, some new generation is going to dig up your photos of you when you're hot and young, spank to it and appreciate your beauty, and that is why it was worth it. Putting it crudely, that is.

Feb 20 13 12:42 pm Link

Model

Jso

Posts: 6

MCKINNEY, Texas, US

Greeneyed Goddess wrote:
So, it seems like I am doing more and more of artsy nudes lately. (I don't include them in my port) and it made me wonder...

Nude models: how do you feel about your friends/family/potential employers etc seeing you nude online?

Are you comfortable with that? Why/why not?

Just trying to figure our my own feelings here... smile

My rule is that I do not do anything that I cannot share with my 17 year old daughter. As an aspiring model herself I want to set the standard for her.

Feb 20 13 01:00 pm Link