Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:
I was wondering. If a guy had above average looks, had a good paying job, had a nice place of his own, and was charming, how much of an asshole would he need to be to nearly always get rejected? Examples?

Likewise what if a guy had below average looks, had a low paying job, didn't have his own place, and wasn't particularly charming however not offensive, how amazing would he need to be otherwise to get nearly any girl he sets out to date? Examples?


I'd like to apply the same questions to men commenting on women, but I don't think most guys care if a woman is a wattress of an astrophysicist.

37 Azzerg units and 29 Amzug units.

Astrophysicist wattresses are better with wattles.

Damianne wrote:
It all depends on who they want to date and what those people are in to.
It's people, not a math problem

+1

And I'd add....you either got it or you don't, and if you don't you never will. 

What is it?  If I knew, I'd tell you, and my host of perfectly great guy friends that have absolutely no luck with women.

Its something like...charisma, confidence, a desire to live fully, willingness to put yourself out there, and sincerity all blended together.  The right concoction here overcomes most of the above listed 'shortcomings.'

I have historically dated men that don't make sense to most people.  They are have been age inappropriate, not so great looking, rather unemployed etc.  None of that matters when combined with the It factor.

But...no one gets to be a jerk.  Idc how good looking you are.

Karl Johnston wrote:
What is a "wattress"?

"A wattress is something that's better with wattles", said Alice.

KonstantKarma wrote:

the rectangle over the square

Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:
I'd like to apply the same questions to men commenting on women, but I don't think most guys care if a woman is a wattress of an astrophysicist.

Well, I'm fat, bald, ugly, and yet, hot women want to bed me frequently (some seem really pissed that I'm not into cheating on my wife). Maybe it's **how** you relate to the ladies that really turns them on?

KonstantKarma wrote:

wat.

Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:
I was wondering. If a guy had above average looks, had a good paying job, had a nice place of his own, and was charming, how much of an asshole would he need to be to nearly always get rejected? Examples?

Likewise what if a guy had below average looks, had a low paying job, didn't have his own place, and wasn't particularly charming however not offensive, how amazing would he need to be otherwise to get nearly any girl he sets out to date? Examples?


I'd like to apply the same questions to men commenting on women, but I don't think most guys care if a woman is a wattress of an astrophysicist.

Basic social psych says that most people want to date others who are similar to them. It's hard to get along with someone who you have nothing in common with.

In terms of JUST dating, and not in terms of successful relationships, these things tend to balance out. If you're pretty average, a 5/10 all across the board, you'll typically find people of the opposite sex are attracted to you who are also ~5/10 across the board. Maybe they're a 4/10 in the looks department, but are a 6/10 in intellect. You get the point.

To be perfectly up front, and to make a totally uneducated guess about your situation just based on your forum posts: I would guess that you're looking to date women way above your pay grade. If you're averaging a 6/10, a 9/10 is not going to be interested in you. Shooting for that will lead to rejection.

T A Y L O R  wrote:
Basic social psych says that most people want to date others who are similar to them. It's hard to get along with someone who you have nothing in common with.

In terms of JUST dating, and not in terms of successful relationships, these things tend to balance out. If you're pretty average, a 5/10 all across the board, you'll typically find people of the opposite sex are attracted to you who are also ~5/10 across the board. Maybe they're a 4/10 in the looks department, but are a 6/10 in intellect. You get the point.

To be perfectly up front, and to make a totally uneducated guess about your situation just based on your forum posts: I would guess that you're looking to date women way above your pay grade. If you're averaging a 6/10, a 9/10 is not going to be interested in you. Shooting for that will lead to rejection.

I wouldn't say this post is entirely for my benefit. I thought it might be interesting to get a variety of answers. Actually if we are to measure  people in terms of numbers guys always have the tendancy to aim higher than they perceive themselves as being while women let others determine their number and they don't chance dating above that number often. Of course people prefer to date similar. But I am curious to know to what degree things like income, looks, and so forth are considered to be "real" factors in differences among all things that can be different. Particularly among so many less quantitative things.

Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:

I wouldn't say this post is entirely for my benefit. I thought it might be interesting to get a variety of answers. Actually if we are to measure  people in terms of numbers guys always have the tendancy to aim higher than they perceive themselves as being while women let others determine their number and they don't chance dating above that number often. Of course people prefer to date similar. But I am curious to know to what degree things like income, looks, and so forth are considered to be "real" factors in differences among all things that can be different. Particularly among so many less quantitative things.

Err, lol what? Where did you get that data from?

Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:

I wouldn't say this post is entirely for my benefit. I thought it might be interesting to get a variety of answers. Actually if we are to measure  people in terms of numbers guys always have the tendancy to aim higher than they perceive themselves as being while women let others determine their number and they don't chance dating above that number often. Of course people prefer to date similar. But I am curious to know to what degree things like income, looks, and so forth are considered to be "real" factors in differences among all things that can be different. Particularly among so many less quantitative things.

And to answer your second question, like lots of other people have said before in all your other dating threads, it completely depends on the individual. Some people really care about looks, others income, others your job, others your intellect.

It depends. I'm not sure what you're looking for here. People aren't a one-sized-fits-all group.

Jess Robinson wrote:

+1

And I'd add....you either got it or you don't, and if you don't you never will. 

What is it?  If I knew, I'd tell you, and my host of perfectly great guy friends that have absolutely no luck with women.

Its something like...charisma, confidence, a desire to live fully, willingness to put yourself out there, and sincerity all blended together.  The right concoction here overcomes most of the above listed 'shortcomings.'

I have historically dated men that don't make sense to most people.  They are have been age inappropriate, not so great looking, rather unemployed etc.  None of that matters when combined with the It factor.

But...no one gets to be a jerk.  Idc how good looking you are.

I agree with this completely

T A Y L O R  wrote:
Basic social psych says that most people want to date others who are similar to them. It's hard to get along with someone who you have nothing in common with.

In terms of JUST dating, and not in terms of successful relationships, these things tend to balance out. If you're pretty average, a 5/10 all across the board, you'll typically find people of the opposite sex are attracted to you who are also ~5/10 across the board. Maybe they're a 4/10 in the looks department, but are a 6/10 in intellect. You get the point.

To be perfectly up front, and to make a totally uneducated guess about your situation just based on your forum posts: I would guess that you're looking to date women way above your pay grade. If you're averaging a 6/10, a 9/10 is not going to be interested in you. Shooting for that will lead to rejection.

I totally disagree with this

I'm very much a 2/10 in the looks department
But I routinely date 9/10 up to and including 12/10's
In fact almost exclusively 8/10 or better

And I do exceptionally well at it

But I'm a charming fellow and I bring more to the table than just looks

Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:
I was wondering. If a guy had above average looks, had a good paying job, had a nice place of his own, and was charming, how much of an asshole would he need to be to nearly always get rejected?

Then he probably secretly - or not so secretly - hates/despises women (and of course himself - which has nothing to do with what kind of job a guy has, or how handsome he is). Most women can sense that immediately and won't go near that guy. (Something for the OP to consider, maybe?)

Either that or he is self-sabotaging for some other reason.

And for the record, I don't care if a guy has money or not, never have, never will. I generally do not care about money. But I do want a man who has drive, ambition, spirit, who isn't a bum.

Babalon Salome wrote:
Then he probably secretly - or not so secretly - hates/despises women (and of course himself - which has nothing to do with what kind of job a guy has, or how handsome he is). Most women can sense that immediately and won't go near that guy. (Something for the OP to consider, maybe?)

Either that or he is self-sabotaging for some other reason.

And for the record, I don't care if a guy has money or not, never have, never will. I generally do not care about money. But I do want a man who has drive, ambition, spirit, who isn't a bum.

Last paragraph all the way.

...and the ones that try to land the opportunistic drones and complain about it, you get exactly what you wanted.

Jules NYC wrote:
...and to add:

You're not going to find 'it' by asking the same thing over and over in MM threads. It's as if your threads have a constant theme.

Well gosh, I thought we was friends. lol. And I was hoping most people would take a more insightful approach to answering the question. It isn't about me so much as to determine how much of as asshole a guy can be to be rejected versus how awesome a guy needs to be to overcome the worth case scenerios. I'd like to think a guy doesn't need to be too amazing to compensate for some shortcomings versus the opposite of only being a slight asshole despite having all that and a bag of chips. I'd like to think all is fairly moderate. And you're right about MM being too unscientific a place to ask these questions which I'm sure all single guys and girls think about when they determine their own value.

Carl Roberts wrote:

I totally disagree with this

I'm very much a 2/10 in the looks department
But I routinely date 9/10 up to and including 12/10's
In fact almost exclusively 8/10 or better

And I do exceptionally well at it

But I'm a charming fellow and I bring more to the table than just looks

You go boyyy!!  12 out of 10 huh? That's like turning the stereo up to 11. lol.

Fotographia Fantastique wrote:
Interestingly, I read somewhere that studies are beginning to show on a societal level that looks are becoming more important to women than they have ever been in the past. (The speculation is that this has something to do with the leveling of income disparity - but no one really knows for sure)

That is interesting. I suspected as much however. By "leveling of income" do you mean the disparity is becoming greater or less great?

Laura Ann - Fashion wrote:
Great looking with a good job doesn't mean jackshit to me if you're an asshole.  Not gonna happen...ever.

That being said, the person I do date has to be a motivated person, that I'm attracted to (and that varies), and someone that I feel an actual connection with. 

EDIT: Living with mom and dad because you just finished up your degree and are looking for a place to live?  That's fine.  Living at home with mom and dad when could move out?  No bueno.  Taking a low paying job you hate while looking for another one?  Perfectly fine.  Consistently bitching about working a low paying job while doing nothing to change the situation?  Nope, won't date that guy.

It all depends.

I can appreciate most of what you say here, however how many good jobs are there out there? I seriously don't know too many people that can afford to live without roommates among my friends. Some of them are quite ambitious. There just doesn't appear to be many jobs to keep the people I know anyway above the poverty level. lol. Only those of my friends that have businesses (apparently successful ones that they've mentioned) are able to make the kind of progress in life that most want. But there is a real drought of jobs that pay people humane incomes (Fuck Republicans).

C h a r l e s  D wrote:
You know, even though Model Mayhem isn't a dating site, if you weren't so...you, you might find someone pretty easily.  Like a female photographer.  But, you're you...so...

Well that wasn't necessary.

Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:

I can appreciate most of what you say here, however how many good jobs are there out there? I seriously don't know too many people that can afford to live without roommates among my friends. Some of them are quite ambitious. There just doesn't appear to be many jobs to keep the people I know anyway above the poverty level. lol. Only those of my friends that have businesses (apparently successful ones that they've mentioned) are able to make the kind of progress in life that most want. But there is a real drought of jobs that pay people humane incomes (Fuck Republicans).

Blaming government for your problems is going to get this thread locked(zero tolerance for political posts these days)
And if you can't find a good paying job in a place with a horrificly high cost of living,move
I did this in 2000,got my ass off of Long Island(probably one of the few good decisions I have made in my adult life)

Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:

I can appreciate most of what you say here, however how many good jobs are there out there? I seriously don't know too many people that can afford to live without roommates among my friends. Some of them are quite ambitious. There just doesn't appear to be many jobs to keep the people I know anyway above the poverty level. lol. Only those of my friends that have businesses (apparently successful ones that they've mentioned) are able to make the kind of progress in life that most want. But there is a real drought of jobs that pay people humane incomes (Fuck Republicans).

I'm fine with roommates, I'll be moving in with a friend at the end of next month in an attempt to cut down on bills, so I totally understand there.  I also know several people though that have chosen to stay at home with mom and dad because their parents take care of their food, their laundry, etc.  Although they have the means to move out (the QC isn't very expensive at all...$500 a month for rent), they choose not to because they'd be forced to actual maintain a living space and nice conditions instead of relying on their parents to do so.

And it's not that a person has to have a great job, not at all, they just have to be trying for more.  My ex was a guy that worked retail, complained about it every day, but bitched that school was worthless and never looked for other work.  Of course, when we broke up, he decided school was worth it...but that's a whole other story.

I know the job market, I've found myself searching for supplemental income, and I realize there aren't many options whatsoever.  So I understand working a job you hate for as long as you need to...what I don't understand is becoming passive about it, throwing your hands in the air, and saying "I give up!"  Plus, 30k around here goes a long way, so a 'well paying job' isn't impossible to find, it just may take a while.

Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:
I can appreciate most of what you say here, however how many good jobs are there out there? I seriously don't know too many people that can afford to live without roommates among my friends. Some of them are quite ambitious. There just doesn't appear to be many jobs to keep the people I know anyway above the poverty level. lol. Only those of my friends that have businesses (apparently successful ones that they've mentioned) are able to make the kind of progress in life that most want. But there is a real drought of jobs that pay people humane incomes (Fuck Republicans).

Time to lock this thread. No more Soapbox, right, mods?

Orca Bay Images wrote:

Time to lock this thread. No more Soapbox, right, mods?

You are welcome to not post in my threads if they don't interest you.

tonyfromsyracuse wrote:
the dating situation is very dismal for women.
feel sorry for them. not men.with women... their looks fade really fast and they start running out of options. and western culture is very youth craving.
so women get despondant when their looks fall, and their men cheat on them.
its just what guys do. all of them. the ones that arent...arent good looking.
chris rock is correct when he says, a man is only as faithful as his options.

if a hot young woman hits on a guy married to some old 40 year old, the man is going to cheat.

the point I am making is that womens reign of terror is a short one. their days of calling the shots, turns to one of sorrow,and daytime tv shows and plastic surgery and a drinking problem.

but it isnt all bad cause the men arent in the same boat. men can be in their 50's and still banging secretarys and flight attendants.because western culture is rightfully more forgiving of men as compared to old women from mid 30's onwards. but the good news for women is they can channel this dissapointment into being good mothers who are there for their children.

Lol wowwwwww you're so off base here omg.  You make it sound like we should just off ourselves when the Botox is no longer powerful enough to make every dick want to snuggle in our pockets anymore.  Because that's the whole worth and meaning of life for girls, right?  If we're not full of dicks every day, our entire life is unfulfilled?

You have much to learn about the territory north of the vajayjay, kind sir.