huremics wrote:
"don't sweat the small stuff"

This.

huremics wrote:
LOL. Why did you even bother?  :-)

But seriously, I realize that from an intellectual perspective, but from a feelings/emotional perspective, reciprocity in terms of communication DOES matter to me, as well it should perhaps.

I'm going to go on a limb and say maybe the models pick up on this and it puts them off. Feelings and emotions should not come into play.

JonPhoto wrote:
I'm going to go on a limb and say maybe the models pick up on this and it puts them off. Feelings and emotions should not come into play.

That's a really good point. Thanks for making it. Going to remember that and try to integrate that POV from here on out.

It's worth noting that I feel this way about interactions with people in every aspect of life, not just working with models. Reciprocity is one of the yardsticks whereby I measure a person's character. Maybe a less invested, more removed approach is appropriate in the photography scenario.

CRIMSON REIGN wrote:
I guess some models are too busy modeling to get to their messages in a timely fashion.

This reads more like rhetoric than reality.

Carlos Occidental wrote:
Professional models will give you the reciprocity you so desire.  Unprofessional models will not.  With your current method, you'll find out quickly who's trying to be professional and who isn't.  There's nothing else you can do.  So, don't sweat the small stuff.

Carlos is correct, he and I have worked togeather because BOTH of us are able to communicate in a timely manner and we each understand that if you want the job you have to do the leg work. Leg work these days means answering emails and in the 24/7 world we live in, you need to answer them fast.

Some models/photographers know this. They get the jobs.
Some models/photographers don't know this. They do NOT get the jobs.

Then you hit the point of saturation, you start to filter emails and messages because you have so many that you only reply to the current jobs or the best offers.

So in short:
People don't reply because they don't care in general, or they specifically don't care about YOUR project.

When I do cold calls, to models, I send out 3-5 messages, then I book who replies.
I don't even bother with checking up on anyone who does NOT reply.
I don't like to sweat..

Today alone by 4:30pm
15 Emails
2 Phone calls
1 Txt

Some these are about jobs with money on the table.
Some are about trade work.
Some are spam. (Vanity press invites)
Some are bacon. (Gallery invites, lists I am subscribed too.)
Some are about future meetings.
One business is offering me samples of their product.

I start with the biggest/most current jobs first.
Then move on to the jobs that are further out.
Then to the meetings with current connections, then to the meetings with new people, then the trade offers, then the sample guy...

I have been unsubbing more and more to art events that are Vanity press and shows that are far away.

I delete the spam.

(A very busy and popular model can get over 200 emails a DAY)

Erlinda wrote:
I am so sad to see another butt hurt photographer on the models forum complaining about models…….

Humans don't reply. It's not just models…….. We all do it… I do it and I do it because I don't want to waste my time replying to someone I don't care for or have any interest in working with…. I have better things to do with my time. This is how most people that don't reply think… Not just photographers, not just models or mua or women… Most human beings just don't care.

I'm sorry to break it to you, it's a sad day I know.

Yeah, it's a "butt-hurt" post, I'll own up to that. I knew that when I wrote it, but did so regardless. Thanks though for your sarcasm. The Internet desperately needs more of it.

My post was probably also too long, since I mentioned that I don't have a problem with those I haven't already worked with not replying. I get that and respect it, since it means "not interested.' And nor do I expect replies ASAP.

Glad I gave you an opportunity to put me down, though. Keep up the positive energy.

huremics wrote:

Yeah, it's a "butt-hurt" post, I'll own up to that. I knew that when I wrote it, but did so regardless. Thanks though for your sarcasm. The Internet desperately needs more of it.

My post was probably also too long, since I mentioned that I don't have a problem with those I haven't already worked not replying. I get that and respect it, since it means "not interested.'

Glad I gave you an opportunity to put me down, though. Keep up the positive energy.

I'm sorry what? Where did I put you down? I didn't say anything about you, or called you any names or being mean to you. I just feel sorry for the models, all they get is these threads all the time.

Gianna Virginia wrote:
I think the internet has negatively changed the way people interact with one another. Basic social skills go out the window. And since people don't have to face you, it becomes very easy to blow people off. I still love the internet though. Just wish people could be more cordial. But I do get your frustrations.

Thanks...good to know it's not just a question of being a "butt-hurt photographer"

huremics wrote:
Perhaps I overreacted. I detected a lot of snark in your post.

The only snark there might of been the "I'm sorry to break it to you, it's a sad day I know"

^^^^ That wasn't mean to bring you down… Just some sarcasm.

But everything else was not mean to be mean or bring you down.

huremics wrote:
OK, cool. My bad, and thanks for clarifying. Perhaps today I'm suffering from the equivalent of male PMS or something. Maybe I need to eat some red meat and go out and fire a few guns.

Jeeeeeeez, don't shoot no one

CRIMSON REIGN wrote:
Wow! And here I am thinking that I look desperate because I do (or try to) respond in less than 24 hours to every email, FB, MM, and OMP whether it's a soliciting work or just paying me a compliment. I guess some models are too busy modeling to get to their messages in a timely fashion.

You mean you delay getting back to a job when you could have responded right away?  That's silly. The sooner we can verify a booking the better.

Elizabeta Rosandic wrote:
Now here's a forum post I've never seen before!

If you have nothing to contribute, why post?

sdgillis wrote:

You mean you delay getting back to a job when you could have responded right away?  That's silly. The sooner we can verify a booking the better.

LOL! No, it all depends on when I get the message and if I can get on MM via my cell at the time. Can't answer a message that I haven't seen yet.

huremics wrote:

This reads more like rhetoric than reality.

Depends on who reads it, it can be both.

Anastasie wrote:
People don't reply, it happens. Things come up, they get busy, cards don't always get delivered. I would just push your energy to better things, you know? I understand it must be frustrating if you're really wanting to work with them but ranting in a model forum about how you don't get likes on facebook and how you almost sound entitled to get them back for being nice just no. As for your friend in the hospital, is she discharged yet? There might be a lot on her plate at the moment.

Yeah, you're right re: moving my energy to better things. The only reason I posted is because it's been irking me despite my rationality telling me that this is petty and below my ability to be concerned about, it's been kind of a pattern, enough so that I decided to vent, knowing it is a "butt-hurt" post.

Just to clarify, there's no sentiment to "get them back" here. If you read it that way then I don't think I expressed myself very well. That would be ridiculous. Yep, she's out and back online.

Anthony Yuen wrote:
OP, before writing this kind of post, you should always ask yourself:

In the past, have you never done the very thing that you are "ranting" about?

Be honest now, have you never blown someone off and/or not reply/reciprocate, in a timely manner?

Just remember, when you point your finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back at you.

"Let those who are without sin, cast the first stone".

Indeed. A good reminder. Though if we all practiced this then the MM forums would have maybe 1/100th of the posts they currently have. It'd be a ghost town, ha ha.

I very very rarely blow anyone off, and if I do it's because it's spam, irrelevant, or someone who is clearly bad news. My communiques with models I've shot with and who plan to shoot again with me don't fall under these categories.

I really do make a habit of practicing reciprocity, and do reply to messages I get on MM or FB, even if it's a polite 'no thanks.'


As it is, even posting here and bitching to a friend or two has been therapeutic. I don't feel as annoyed, though I still maintain the validity of my complaint and of the importance of reciprocity and manners in one's dealing with others.

Gianna Virginia wrote:
I think the internet has negatively changed the way people interact with one another. Basic social skills go out the window. And since people don't have to face you, it becomes very easy to blow people off. I still love the internet though. Just wish people could be more cordial. But I do get your frustrations.

This.

Try not to spend too much energy on those that don't respond and spend it on those that do.

huremics wrote:

Thanks...good to know it's not just a question of being a "butt-hurt photographer"..........I am a butt hurt photog I feel your pain, at this point if a Girl does not reply after 3 weeks (message read) I send another message that's goes something like this...message read no reply typical never mind .this usually gets their attention, and 50% say sorry I have been busy OR I don't check this site much. the other 50% say hey your rude, unprofessional. either way  I know this pretty much guarantees that I will not be working with said girl but at least I get project my butt hurtness and get some degree of satisfaction . 

Four-Eleven Productions wrote:
People who can't be bothered to reply to a specific business offer basically are just revealing the crappy job their parents did in raising them.

"No answer is an answer" is a silly attempt to rationalize rude-ass behavior.

....YEAH

The F-Stop wrote:
Wait, you'll get the stupid answer "NO REALY IS A REPLY."


hahaha morons!

.....YEAH