Connor Photography wrote:
I enjoy fine dining.   I often take the model out to lunch or dinner after the photoshoot if both of our schedule permits especially for the trade shoot.  For those who doesn't have the time, I usually fill their tank before they head home.  It becomes a routine for me and I don't think much of it until I got burned.

Recently, I took the model out for Sushi after a long shoot.  She ordered from the menu every item from the very top to very end of with two main courses.  I didn't say much, but thought she must be very hungry.  Unfortunately, she did not eat much, may be about 5% what she ordered.  She wanted all her food packed to GO.  Her food came out to be about $90 and mine was $30.  It looks like that she was buying food for herself for the next few days or for her BF at home; I don't know.  I though that is pretty rude. 

Since then, I have to modify my offer or don't even bother to being nice to offer free food.  I hate it every time when I have to tell the model to order whatever you like on the menu, but can't take food home with her.  I feel like a cheap Bastard. But there is no other way to avoid being ripe off.  ...........

Rant over

Yeah you don't have to offer free food. Just ask if they want to get something to eat. Don't say, let me take you to lunch.

If the bill is acceptable at the end, then you can either offer to pay for the entire bill, or go dutch. All you have to do is split the bill at the end.

I've had models buy me lunch, and I've paid for others as well. Luckily never had this happen to me.

,

Connor Photography wrote:
It may be a cultural thing.  I think it is very rude to ask someone (anyone) to go out for lunch or dinner and expect the "someone" has to pay their own tab.  It would never happen to me.  If I ask someone to dine, I will be the host. 

I am old school. 

Stop asking them out to eat
/Problem

Connor Photography wrote:
...I hate it every time when I have to tell the model to order whatever you like on the menu, but can't take food home with her.  I feel like a cheap Bastard. But there is no other way to avoid being ripe off.

Instead of going through that embarassing scenario every, single time, especially because I think unethical people like that are rare, here is another idea. Go back to whatever you used to say to invite them for a meal. Then, when the wait-person is taking their order, once it is clear your guest is over ordering, politely ask the wait-person to hold off and give you another few minutes. Have a discussion with your unethical guest about your limits.

Connor Photography wrote:
It may be a cultural thing.  I think it is very rude to ask someone (anyone) to go out for lunch or dinner and expect the "someone" has to pay their own tab.  It would never happen to me.  If I ask someone to dine, I will be the host. 

Most models I have dealt with were not financially independent; I can't allow them to pay my tab.  It is OK if they buy me a beer before dinner at the bar if she already has her money out. 

I am old school. 

If it's a casual "we both need to eat" meal after a shoot, then there shouldn't be any confusion as to whether I'm treating them to a meal, or if we're just having lunch or dinner together.

Some models have expressed that they wanted to buy me lunch, and some have even given me tips on trade shoots. I try to dissuade them, but when someone wants to show appreciation then it's nice and gracious to accept. Some might be uncomfortable with everything being paid for by others, because after all, it's a working relationship/friend lunch, not a date

Sometimes during a long shoot, we'll both talk about food and grabbing a bite afterwards. That's not like making someone pay their own tab, that's like two people going out to eat together. Sometimes I'll pay, sometimes we split, sometimes they fight to pay.

And how do you know what my culture is?

.

Connor Photography wrote:
I don't think much of it until I got burned.

Once in all the times you've taken models out? Don't let it change you.

When someone speeds up behind you on the freeway, riding your bumper, you can either think they're being an asshole, and probably be right, or you can or you can think "They may have a sick child and are trying to get to the hospital, so I'm going to move over". You'd be surprised at how effective this is. Your model probably didn't have any food in her house. You helped alleviate her worries about what's she's going to eat.

The F-Stop wrote:
hot dog stand next time!

Totally!

martin b wrote:
I've had relatives do that to me... I just went to a funeral last weekend for an aunt who once ordered $250 of lobster to go. some people just take advantage.

salvatori. wrote:
This is one of those threads that makes me scratch my head.

I've been shooting for 30 years, always treat models with respect, but to be honest, I've never, ever had a model invite me to lunch after a shoot.

Maybe I have B.O.

It might be because they've seen what's under your finger nails after you've scratched your head.  j/k 

salvatori. wrote:
This is one of those threads that makes me scratch my head.

I've been shooting for 30 years, always treat models with respect, but to be honest, I've never, ever had a model invite me to lunch after a shoot.

Maybe I have B.O.

Better still when they cook for you

Gerardo Martinez wrote:
It seems to me OPie is trying to date models but is doing it wrong lmao

OMFG,
You people eat with the models..

Cam wrote:

OMFG,
You people eat with the models..

I've eaten with models.   

Cam wrote:
OMFG,
You people eat with the models..

Yes, sometimes lunch, sometimes dinner.  Couple times, breakfast after they spent the night.  (They slept in the bedroom over the garage, far from where my wife and I slept.)

Regarding the OPs issue.  Young and inexperienced models sometimes exhibit poor manners.  Don't be disappointed, unless they are old enough to know better.   It hurts when someone takes advantage of your generosity.  Don't let the 80/20 rule turn you into one of the 20.

portraiturebyBrent wrote:

Once in all the times you've taken models out? Don't let it change you.

When someone speeds up behind you on the freeway, riding your bumper, you can either think they're being an asshole, and probably be right, or you can or you can think "They may have a sick child and are trying to get to the hospital, so I'm going to move over". You'd be surprised at how effective this is. Your model probably didn't have any food in her house. You helped alleviate her worries about what's she's going to eat.

This ^