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Photographers that try to sleep with models...
2/9/09: (This post has been edited since so many people have gotten the wrong idea...) Note: This forum is not about anyone I know or have ever worked with. It's a testimonial from a friend of mine who's not on MM and wanted me to gather feedback about the subject. I initially wrote it as if it were me because I knew I'd get more feedback. In any case... any photographers who I've ever worked with here on MM, please note this is not about you in any way, shape or form. If anyone has specific inquiries about this subject matter please feel free to contact me privately. Models: For the ones who have contacted me privately, I appreciate you sharing your experiences. Keep up the good work in your careers and stay safe. All Forum People: Thanks to all of you for responding, giving advice, sharing experiences, and even the ones who corrected me and thought to crack a joke or 2. I appreciate all feedback. I won't be posting anything else on this topic after today so... have fun. What I got from all the responses, advice, etc...: 1. Check referrences 2. It's actaully a good idea to bring someone with you, but someone like a stylist, manager, or other professional party. Not someone who will interfere with the shoot. 3. Just because a photographer doesn't allow escorts doesn't mean he's not on the up and up. 4. It may be ok to have a drink, meet to discuss a shoot over dinner, etc... it's all about the vibe you get from the person. Most can tell if the offer or gesture is outside of just business. 5. We're all human, whether we're a photographer, model, singer, actress... and the same way people can fall in love in the corporate industry, is the same way people in this industry can fall in love. It may not be anything wrong with a photographer asking out a model. It's what happens after that counts. If she accepts, then that's between the 2 of them. However, like some stories I've received... If someone says no then they should move on. But that shouldn't ruin their work relationship. If a photog allows that to make him/her not want to shoot with the model again then that's when we can say he/she was not on the up and up and the model should've did #1 (check referrences). If this helped only 1 person I'm happy. However, if this hurt anyone, then I apologize Stay safe... "What the hell?" Example #1: "Why can't someone be able to do a sexy or even nude shoot without the phone call or text msg or email that comes after it... "I was looking at the pics from our shoot and your body is amazing... we should really hang out sometime... go get a drink... I'll even cook you dinner... you know just showing you my gratitude for such a great shoot..." Example #2: "Oh yeah... and the ones that don't want you to bring an escort only because in the back of their minds they want to try their hand at getting you to sleep with them after or even during the shoot!" Example #3: "And then when you say no, they no longer want to shoot with you..." Feb 02 09 07:27 am Link I am sorry if you have had bad experiences..... and your new around here so I will just let you know..... this type of thread comes up often.....grab some popcorn and just watch. This will get interesting. Feb 02 09 07:30 am Link Rozetta Marie wrote: Why on earth would you do that? Feb 02 09 07:32 am Link Then maybe you should not play them. I must be ugly, I have only been propositioned for sex less than 10 times in over 400 shoots. Either that or I treat my job as a professional. This is work, not play. Feb 02 09 07:32 am Link When you play them? Wtf? So you're bitching about photographers wanting to hook up with you (start checking references and doing your homework if you don't want to work with people like that) but then also implying that you DO in fact, hook up with them, and then they ditch you and go for your friends? At that point, it's not the photographer, it's just another guy and you being reckless and getting used. Feb 02 09 07:33 am Link Rozetta Marie wrote: That sounds creepy, why not just say "you look awesome" or something like that, rather than creepy. Feb 02 09 07:33 am Link Kristen Interrupted wrote: Ok... I'm from Brooklyn so maybe theres a slight language barrier. LOL. It's ok... When I say "play them" I mean to deny them what they want. As in say "no". Feb 02 09 07:33 am Link Iona Lynn wrote: I was going to ask you, and then you said something about a husband... Feb 02 09 07:33 am Link Iona Lynn wrote: Pretty much exactly what I was going to say... Feb 02 09 07:34 am Link Rozetta Marie wrote: Okay, when I hear "play them" I think that you toy with them, string them along, maybe actually go out with them. Feb 02 09 07:35 am Link Iona Lynn wrote: You're not ugly, and I myself treat my job as professional. I haven't been approached a million times. Just a few times recently and I notice it's only when I don't bring someone with me. Other times I usually travel with my designer or my MUA so it hasn't happened those times. Feb 02 09 07:35 am Link Rozetta Marie wrote: Oh lol, gotcha. Feb 02 09 07:35 am Link hehehe my gratitude is growing , not the right time to sleep tb Feb 02 09 07:35 am Link Rozetta Marie wrote: I'm not interested in sleeping with you. Feb 02 09 07:38 am Link Elizabeth Claret wrote: Elizabeth... I didn't say it that way because when I was writing I was getting a little pissed thinking about the situation so I wrote the way I would say it to a friend. Sorry for the confusion. About my close friends, they don't know... but the one that most recently did this, knew I did gigs with a certain other model and since I felt he was good I referred her to him and she told me today that he came on to her. So he doesn't know how close we are. Feb 02 09 07:38 am Link I try to get all of my sleeping in before or after a shoot. Feb 02 09 07:38 am Link Photographers that try to get their freak on with models?! I have never heard of such a thing! Feb 02 09 07:39 am Link very funny Andrew. LOL Feb 02 09 07:39 am Link I'm more annoyed at photographers who contact me to shoot and want to chat beforehand. When I say I don't chat but we can message here or in e-mail and then I never hear from them again. Personally I don't get the relation of not wanting to chat equaling not wanting to shoot. Feb 02 09 07:39 am Link You have a designer? What is Brooklyn speak for designer? I am confused... Feb 02 09 07:40 am Link Hanging out, offering someone a social drink or showing gratitude for a job well done by offering dinner, means they want to sleep with you? Are you sure? Even if it were true, that a beautiful model appealed to a photographer in such a way that he offered a drink, dinner, or gratitude and was also interested in banging your headboard into the wall 'till the plaster was all on the floor, isn't offering a drink, dinner and gratitude better than saying, "I'd love to f*ck you like an animal" ??? Aren't we all adults here? Is it so unreasonable to think that males and females don't occasionally find the other attractive? Many photographers and models end up getting married and living happily ever-after, I'm guessing that somewhere somehow, a drink, dinner, or gratitude was involved somewhere. I don't believe that offering such things is unprofessional or inappropriate in any way....and it doesn't necessarily mean they are scumbags, perverts, or want to sleep with you. Heck, they might even know what "No' means. Feb 02 09 07:41 am Link Hell, I don't want to sleep with models, I'd much rather have sex with them. I'm kidding. No, really.  Feb 02 09 07:43 am Link Elizabeth Claret wrote: What are you talkign about? Where did I imply that I hook up with them and then ditch them????? This is why I explained what I meant when I said play them. That meant that I straight up in a professional way say no thanks. I don't hang out with people I work with. How many ways do I have to explain that statement to you. They're getting played b/C they feel they'll get what they want (maybe cuz other models did things with them) and when someone says "no" they feel stupid. Feb 02 09 07:43 am Link I've let the occasional photographer buy me dinner and drinks. I took it as payment for the shoot. I've even taken models out to get drunk afterwards. It's not always about trying to get into your pants. Feb 02 09 07:43 am Link Mikes Images - Mike #4 wrote: Nope, sorry love, I just got a lecture from two men that are friends of mine the drinks and dinner are just window dressing. Just ask upfront, be honest and let us say yes or no. Feb 02 09 07:43 am Link Rozetta Marie wrote: And the funniest part is they have no idea you know all those "pic up" words like you would read it from a book..You listen for a while and then you are out on the door in no time.(That's what I do) Feb 02 09 07:44 am Link Rozetta Marie wrote: Yes, and that was my very first post, and then I made a second post after you explained your Brooklynese to me. Feb 02 09 07:44 am Link Janice Marie Foote wrote: Exactly. I totally agree. But that's just a red flag that they have other motives anyway. Feb 02 09 07:45 am Link Elizabeth Claret wrote: Ok... sorry for getting annoyed. You give good advice though. Thanks Feb 02 09 07:46 am Link Iona Lynn wrote: You know, even thinking about when I have asked models out for drinks (never works, so I don't really anymore) it always does sound like I'm hitting on them or something more, unless the person and I really get along or have a lot in common as far as places we go. Feb 02 09 07:46 am Link i agree on your message i had one photographer LADIES REMEBER HIS NAME (contact me for that info) from NY and here in CALI in hollywood, he took my photo's then attemted to assault me. I got pissed, I walked out and he tryed to be cool about it he said that he never got turned on like this before and he didnt know what came over him.. he never gave me my photos either. Feb 02 09 07:46 am Link Damn, I have never been propositioned for sex. Maybe its the vibe you give off. Obviously not when doing it for the camera and shooting, but before or after the shoot, like maybe being flirtatious or something. And though being asked to dinner/drinks is a sign of other interest, it could be harmless too. I have gone out to eat with many people I have worked with, even invited them on occasion. So maybe you are reading too much into it? Feb 02 09 07:46 am Link Iona Lynn wrote: LOLOLOL! You're funny. Brooklyn for designer is... (drum roll please)... "designer" Feb 02 09 07:46 am Link There have been many many multi-million dollar "business" deals made and sealed and thanked afterwards or appreciated over dinner and drinks...it doesn't ALWAYS mean that they want to bed you! If it is a concern, by all means, as has been stated here, check references beforehand of the photographer, to make sure he isn't a PDWC...pimp daddy with camera!  Feb 02 09 07:47 am Link MMDesign wrote: hahaha Feb 02 09 07:47 am Link .....I have never heard the phrase "played them" with the meaning you stated.... and that includes never hearing it meant like that in Brooklyn. Feb 02 09 07:47 am Link Jennifer Amorelli wrote: Girl, better remove that name. That's outing Feb 02 09 07:48 am Link Jennifer Amorelli wrote: take out his name, luv..... this is considered outing and the thread will be locked. Feb 02 09 07:48 am Link I am from Queens and even I thought you meant play them as in play them out but now I got you.Check it out.Getting hit on comes with the territory.After the shoot, just keep it moving. Feb 02 09 07:48 am Link Jennifer Amorelli wrote: You need to edit your post and take his name out so this doesn't turn into outing, which will get the thread locked. Feb 02 09 07:50 am Link |
