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Photographer
Buzz Photography LLC
Posts: 520
Lafayette, Indiana, US


A friend asked me to be her photographer for her wedding out in Cali.  I live in Indiana.  I told her she should find someone else for a number of reasons, but mostly I did not want to mix "business and pleasure".  She is a good friend and I have seen what happens to other photographers when they do that and the friendship ends badly.

So she has found another photographer and this photographer is just bad.  I mean this is the wanna be photographer who's photos are dark, lots of noise, bad editing (where you try to make a black and white photo but only the red roses are in color.  Instead the roses, half the flower and half of the person's arm is in color) 

I realize we all have to start some where but this person is calling themselves a professional and I want my friends photos to come out and be good.  So my problem is where do I draw the line?  Do I just stand back and let the photographer work?  Do I offer a little help?  Do I just tell the photographer to get out of my way? 

Right now I feel that I should just stand back.  This is the photographer my friend has picked and I should respect her choices but at the same time, I feel kind of bad.
Jan 31 13 02:39 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Gaze at Photography
Posts: 4,371
Hilton Head Island, South Carolina, US


Buzz Photography LLC wrote:
A friend asked me to be her photographer for her wedding out in Cali.  I live in Indiana.  I told her she should find someone else for a number of reasons, but mostly I did not want to mix "business and pleasure".  She is a good friend and I have seen what happens to other photographers when they do that and the friendship ends badly.

So she has found another photographer and this photographer is just bad.  I mean this is the wanna be photographer who's photos are dark, lots of noise, bad editing (where you try to make a black and white photo but only the red roses are in color.  Instead the roses, half the flower and half of the person's arm is in color) 

I realize we all have to start some where but this person is calling themselves a professional and I want my friends photos to come out and be good.  So my problem is where do I draw the line?  Do I just stand back and let the photographer work?  Do I offer a little help?  Do I just tell the photographer to get out of my way? 

Right now I feel that I should just stand back.  This is the photographer my friend has picked and I should respect her choices but at the same time, I feel kind of bad.

Until asked, it's Nunya

Jan 31 13 02:42 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
-Ira
Posts: 2,180
New York, New York, US


She must have seen the photographers work and think it meets her expectations.
Jan 31 13 02:45 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Instinct Images
Posts: 22,507
San Diego, California, US


I had a friend that got married recently and she asked me if I was interested in shooting her wedding but I politely declined and explained why then offered to help her choose a photographer. She sent me a couple of ones she was interested in and they were all pretty bad. I sent her a couple of recommendations and she ended up choosing one of them and ended up VERY happy with the photos.

My suggestion: tell her you think she could find a better photographer and offer to help her choose.

If she's getting married in SoCal I can send you a link to the photographer my friend used. I believe she was very reasonably priced.
Jan 31 13 02:45 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Studio MD - Casting
Posts: 1,209
New York, New York, US


I usually offer references for shoots I'm unable or not interested in doing.
There's nothing wrong with identifying and suggesting someone you believe will be the most proper fit for a project.
Jan 31 13 02:46 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Buzz Photography LLC
Posts: 520
Lafayette, Indiana, US


Instinct Images wrote:
I had a friend that got married recently and she asked me if I was interested in shooting her wedding but I politely declined and explained why then offered to help her choose a photographer. She sent me a couple of ones she was interested in and they were all pretty bad. I sent her a couple of recommendations and she ended up choosing one of them and ended up VERY happy with the photos.

My suggestion: tell her you think she could find a better photographer and offer to help her choose.

If she's getting married in SoCal I can send you a link to the photographer my friend used. I believe she was very reasonably priced.

I offered that and she went with a friend of her soon to be hubby

Jan 31 13 02:49 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Kaouthia
Posts: 3,152
Lancaster, England, United Kingdom


Buzz Photography LLC wrote:
I realize we all have to start some where but this person is calling themselves a professional and I want my friends photos to come out and be good.  So my problem is...

Given that she asked you as well, I'd be asking your friend "Do you really think I suck as much as this guy?" wink

Jan 31 13 02:53 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Chicchowmein
Posts: 14,395
Palm Beach, Florida, US


Buzz Photography LLC wrote:

I offered that and she went with a friend of her soon to be hubby

Let it go then.

Jan 31 13 02:53 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Thomas Sellberg
Posts: 140
Bloomington, Illinois, US


Take your camera and shoot some photos too. You asked to not be their photographer for a good reason. If this individual fails it is their issue.

I have several times taken my camera to friends weddings and out shot their photographer from my seat. I just edit and give them the images and don't say a word about their guy/gal until asked. I professionally shot my uncle's wedding, only because they begged me. The photos came out great and they were happy. I on the other hand was not. And will probably not do aother wedding as I felt so stressed about the entire thing and it was just family as a client instead of someone else that it just turned me off to that type of photography. However I will continue to take my gear to other weddings...
Jan 31 13 02:53 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Christopher Hartman
Posts: 54,084
Buena Park, California, US


Buzz Photography LLC wrote:
A friend asked me to be her photographer for her wedding out in Cali.  I live in Indiana.  I told her she should find someone else for a number of reasons, but mostly I did not want to mix "business and pleasure".  She is a good friend and I have seen what happens to other photographers when they do that and the friendship ends badly.

So she has found another photographer and this photographer is just bad.  I mean this is the wanna be photographer who's photos are dark, lots of noise, bad editing (where you try to make a black and white photo but only the red roses are in color.  Instead the roses, half the flower and half of the person's arm is in color) 

I realize we all have to start some where but this person is calling themselves a professional and I want my friends photos to come out and be good.  So my problem is where do I draw the line?  Do I just stand back and let the photographer work?  Do I offer a little help?  Do I just tell the photographer to get out of my way? 

Right now I feel that I should just stand back.  This is the photographer my friend has picked and I should respect her choices but at the same time, I feel kind of bad.

It's not your business to draw the line.  Ask your friend if they are happy with what the photographer can deliver based on what they are paying this photographer.  If they are, butt out.

Jan 31 13 02:54 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Kaouthia
Posts: 3,152
Lancaster, England, United Kingdom


Instinct Images wrote:
I had a friend that got married recently and she asked me if I was interested in shooting her wedding but I politely declined and explained why then offered to help her choose a photographer.

I recently had a friend and client ask me to shoot her wedding.  I told her no way, no how, not happening, but made the same offer you did.

I said she can invite me as a guest, I'll probably bring a camera along, and she's more than welcome to any images I may shoot, but I won't be "the wedding photographer". smile

Jan 31 13 02:56 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Mike Collins
Posts: 1,830
Orlando, Florida, US


Ya gotta love all the white knight wedding shooters out there.  I wonder if they also go to restaurants and bring food for the guests just in case the chef screws up. 

If I'm invited to a wedding that I am not shooting, I never bring my camera(s).  They invited me as a friend and guest and I enjoy it just as that.  But that's just me.
Jan 31 13 03:01 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
J O H N A L L A N
Posts: 9,939
Santa Ana, California, US


@OP
Maybe your friend knows the work is bad and sent you it so you'd save the day and do it yourself.

Anyway, good decision not to do it.
Jan 31 13 03:05 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Kaouthia
Posts: 3,152
Lancaster, England, United Kingdom


Mike Collins wrote:
If I'm invited to a wedding that I am not shooting, I never bring my camera(s).  They invited me as a friend and guest and I enjoy it just as that.  But that's just me.

I don't shoot weddings.  As a guest at a wedding, I've always had a camera with me though.  No white knighting, I just like getting embarrassing shots of my friends after a few beers at the reception. smile

Jan 31 13 03:06 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Richard Haick
Posts: 355
Richmond, California, US


Here's what you do. (to those who shoot at friends' weddings) Stop being a dick and bringing your camera to the wedding if they hired a photographer. If you're better, fine, shut up and let your ego have the last laugh. I shoot weddings and I look at you like a wanna-be buffoon, no matter how much of a bad-ass you might be. If it were your job, your duty, you'd have been hired and not declined. Do you bring your own guitar to the concert and play with the band? No, sit back and talk shit, but keep off the stage.

The right thing to do is help steer your loved ones to someone who is worth a damn. You know the value of a photo. You have a better eye for it. You should know that a wedding is not a model shoot, so there's going to be some variation from what you see here. They should value that opinion, especially if they asked you to shoot.

I know I sound like a complete a-hole. But, I speak from experience.
Jan 31 13 03:08 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
J O H N A L L A N
Posts: 9,939
Santa Ana, California, US


Mike Collins wrote:
If I'm invited to a wedding that I am not shooting, I never bring my camera(s).  They invited me as a friend and guest and I enjoy it just as that.  But that's just me.

Yeah ditto. I would consider it bad form to bring my camera.
I went to a friend's wedding a few years ago, she was a successful agency model and as a result there were two photographers (including myself) there as guests of hers that had become friends. I didn't take my camera, the other did.

If I were to take a camera to a friend's wedding, it would definitely not be anything more than a pocket point-n-shoot.

Jan 31 13 03:10 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Michael Anthony
Posts: 2,231
Glendale, California, US


IBS wrote:

Let it go then.

x2

the end result falls on the hubby at that point...

Jan 31 13 03:12 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Darryl Varner
Posts: 724
Lexington, Kentucky, US


I've only shot one wedding and that was several years ago for a friend. I can tell you from personal experience, it's a LOT of work and if you're not properly prepared it can easily turn into a disaster. Since you've already turned down the job, my suggestion would be to simply attend as a friend, enjoy the day, and stay out of the photographer's way and let him/her work. The resulting photos may or may not be any good but 1) the wedding photographer was your friend's choice and 2) you won't be in the middle of things. In the long run your friendship is likely more valuable than pictures in a photo album.
Jan 31 13 03:14 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
M Pandolfo Photography
Posts: 12,116
Tampa, Florida, US


I would not get involved whatsoever. And I would be wary of commenting in ANY way about the photos because, after turning it down, it would then look like you're questioning her choices too.

No offense to your friend, but if she's choosing someone that bad she's obviously trying to get the photography done cheap, which doesn't give me a lot of confidence that she would have paid you what you wanted and would have invariably pulled "the friend card" on you.
Jan 31 13 03:18 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
M Pandolfo Photography
Posts: 12,116
Tampa, Florida, US


Thomas Sellberg wrote:
Take your camera and shoot some photos too. You asked to not be their photographer for a good reason. If this individual fails it is their issue.

I have several times taken my camera to friends weddings and out shot their photographer from my seat. I just edit and give them the images and don't say a word about their guy/gal until asked. I professionally shot my uncle's wedding, only because they begged me. The photos came out great and they were happy. I on the other hand was not. And will probably not do aother wedding as I felt so stressed about the entire thing and it was just family as a client instead of someone else that it just turned me off to that type of photography. However I will continue to take my gear to other weddings...

That might be the worst advice I have ever heard in the forums. That doesn't sound like a professional, it sounds like an Uncle Bob who is shooting to satisfy their own ego.

Sounds like you want the accolades without the pressure of having to deliver. As a photographer, I would think you would be sensitive to the job of the actual hired photographer and not try to best them to make yourself feel better.

Jan 31 13 03:22 pm  Link  Quote 
guide forum
Model
Damianne
Posts: 15,973
Austin, Texas, US


If you wanted to be involved in the quality of the photos, you should be the one getting married or the photographer, otherwise you should probably just stay quiet unless your opinion is asked for.
Jan 31 13 03:23 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Jay Lee Studios
Posts: 1,238
San Diego, California, US


Myself being a photographer I know when someone is good at what they do. I am using a photographer that I met when I first started for my wedding. Check out www.richwellcorrea.com he is in SD and the best wedding photographer in the area.
Jan 31 13 03:24 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Harold Rose
Posts: 2,925
Calhoun, Georgia, US


Buzz Photography LLC wrote:
A friend asked me to be her photographer for her wedding out in Cali.  I live in Indiana.  I told her she should find someone else for a number of reasons, but mostly I did not want to mix "business and pleasure".  She is a good friend and I have seen what happens to other photographers when they do that and the friendship ends badly.

So she has found another photographer and this photographer is just bad.  I mean this is the wanna be photographer who's photos are dark, lots of noise, bad editing (where you try to make a black and white photo but only the red roses are in color.  Instead the roses, half the flower and half of the person's arm is in color) 

I realize we all have to start some where but this person is calling themselves a professional and I want my friends photos to come out and be good.  So my problem is where do I draw the line?  Do I just stand back and let the photographer work?  Do I offer a little help?  Do I just tell the photographer to get out of my way? 

Right now I feel that I should just stand back.  This is the photographer my friend has picked and I should respect her choices but at the same time, I feel kind of bad.

I skipped over this, after I got the jest of it and tossed out the  sadness..

We do weddings all over the world.  For those in the USA  there is a fixed set of conditions,  and choices..   NOTHING IS LEFT TO SPECULATION   All options are agreed upon,   deposits made.    And we move on.. 

Most brides see this planning as the most important part of her wedding planning.    She begins to see things that she would never have thought of...

We usually lead in the planning..   after all this is probably her first,   and it is our  thousands Plus...

Jan 31 13 03:31 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
37photog
Posts: 692
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, US


In general, stay out of it completely.  You never know what their budgeting.  They might be looking on CL for someone cheap, so yeah the work is bad.  You get what you pay for basically.

Not saying your friends are doing this, but you never know.  Also, like you responded, it was a friend of the grooms.  Leave it go.
Jan 31 13 03:31 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Leighthenubian
Posts: 2,793
Toronto, Ontario, Canada


Buzz Photography LLC wrote:
A friend asked me to be her photographer for her wedding out in Cali.  I live in Indiana.  I told her she should find someone else for a number of reasons, but mostly I did not want to mix "business and pleasure".  She is a good friend and I have seen what happens to other photographers when they do that and the friendship ends badly.

So she has found another photographer and this photographer is just bad.  I mean this is the wanna be photographer who's photos are dark, lots of noise, bad editing (where you try to make a black and white photo but only the red roses are in color.  Instead the roses, half the flower and half of the person's arm is in color) 

I realize we all have to start some where but this person is calling themselves a professional and I want my friends photos to come out and be good.  So my problem is where do I draw the line?  Do I just stand back and let the photographer work?  Do I offer a little help?  Do I just tell the photographer to get out of my way? 

Right now I feel that I should just stand back.  This is the photographer my friend has picked and I should respect her choices but at the same time, I feel kind of bad.

As a friend give her some good examples of what you consider to be a good wedding photographer. Have her look over the work and make her own choice after reviewing a short list "non-friend" pros in her area, and budget.

Jan 31 13 03:37 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Instinct Images
Posts: 22,507
San Diego, California, US


Buzz Photography LLC wrote:

I offered that and she went with a friend of her soon to be hubby

In that case don't say a word!

Jan 31 13 03:41 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
ontherocks
Posts: 22,334
Salem, Oregon, US


offer to take a few photos as a favor but as a guest. if the official photographer no-shows or freaks out or disappears with a bridesmaid then be ready to take over if the bride asks (and i have heard of this happening before).

i think the main thing in working with customers is to have a good contract. that covers a lot of important ground. that and knowing what the heck you are doing.
Jan 31 13 03:55 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Hugo Lopez Photography
Posts: 239
Miami, Florida, US


You have control issues.
Jan 31 13 03:56 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
B R U N E S C I
Posts: 25,319
Bath, England, United Kingdom


Well, you told her to find somebody else...

big_smile




Just my $0.02

Ciao
Stefano
www.stefanobrunesci.com
Jan 31 13 04:58 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Piscis Noctis
Posts: 11,007
Santa Rosa, California, US


IBS wrote:

Let it go then.

x4

Jan 31 13 05:02 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
H A Z E
Posts: 82
London, England, United Kingdom


Kaouthia wrote:
I said she can invite me as a guest, I'll probably bring a camera along, and she's more than welcome to any images I may shoot, but I won't be "the wedding photographer". smile

+1

Exactly there is nothing wrong with bringing your camera and offering some help if needed, its not like you are trying to take over. Many guests bring their DSLRs, bridge cameras etc anyway.

Jan 31 13 05:50 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Joseph Peffer
Posts: 285
Miami, Florida, US


I did a wedding for a model friend of mine and the photos came out great. Granted she acted like a bride which they can through out the day, friend or not, but she was so glad to have went with me over everyone else she's worked with. Despite the stressfulness of the big day, friends appreciate your work and efforts. I don't know, it's worked for me having my contacts and friends become repeat customers.
Jan 31 13 06:27 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
KMP
Posts: 4,743
Houston, Texas, US


Buzz Photography LLC wrote:

I offered that and she went with a friend of her soon to be hubby

oh Lordy.....and soon  to be EXfriend of her soon to be hubby....

Jan 31 13 06:36 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Richard Haick
Posts: 355
Richmond, California, US


Actually, it is quite rude to bring your own camera and shoot over the photographer's shoulder, much less shoot from your chairs and so forth. I think some people have forgotten their etiquette. You are a guest, not a vendor. You don't make your own wedding cake to serve. You don't bring your own DJ to play music. Why do you think that you have some right or obligation to bring your gear? If you want to practice your wedding shots, get a gig as an assistant wedding photographer.

All too often, people ruin the hired photographer's shots because of their orange AF assist lights and red grids or their flash is going off at the same time and overexposing the shot because they are trying to get their own shot of a certain moment. Too many uncle Bobs in the aisle or jumping in front of the alter. I once had one of MY weddings blogged by a guest which seriously pissed me off. It's not ruining the photographer's photos. It's ruining the bride's and groom's photos.

Do you let people come into your studio and just shoot while you're shooting?
Jan 31 13 06:59 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
photo212grapher
Posts: 1,540
Saint Louis, Missouri, US


If you do not want to shoot the wedding, don't. Simple. If you think they are looking at poor photographers, it is probably because it is all they can afford.

Long ago, back when I took weddings, I did take some for friends, and even my brother's wedding. Each time, I tried to convince them to find someone else, but they wanted to include me in the wedding. It became my wedding gift to them. If I was asked today, I'd decline on being out of practice, but I might consider paying for a good photographer as the wedding present. (Family, yes. Real close friends, yes. Others? Might donate towards the cause of getting a good photographer to do the honors.)

And for friends and family, bring a point and shoot along, and capture some moments before the wedding (that they never saw as they prepared) and after the wedding at the reception of mutual friends. These do not have to works of art ready to enlarge on five foot canvas frames. These are the snapshots to bring a laugh or smile. Something you as a friend would see that even an experienced professional photographer might not ever notice.
Jan 31 13 07:37 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Viator Defessus Photos
Posts: 1,023
College Station, Texas, US


Heh. The last time I was asked to a wedding I was the best man. No one wanted me holding a camera.

I don't bring my dSLRs to parties and I wouldn't bring them to a wedding. I have a little pocket camera that I take with me sometimes. One of the things I like most about it is the ability to make sure it doesn't fire the flash or use AF assist, so I'm not screwing with or disturbing anyone else.

I had to photograph an awards event for work once. When trying to photograph the awards recipient one of my co-workers stood up, walked directly in my way and then had their flash ruin my shot when I moved and got ready to shoot again. I nearly walked over and broke his camera over his head.
Jan 31 13 07:39 pm  Link  Quote 
Model
Abby Hawkins
Posts: 2,002
Boston, Massachusetts, US


She chooses who she chooses.  The best you can do is recommend nicely. 

If she's sticking with the first guy -- then that's her deal.  Maybe she'll realize her error.  Maybe she'll love her photographer.  Either way, it's out of your hands.
Jan 31 13 07:45 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
AVD AlphaDuctions
Posts: 10,532
Gatineau, Quebec, Canada


if you bring your camera to the wedding be sure to legally change your name to "uncle Bob" prior to stepping on a plane.

here's a handy link to get you started (this only works for the OP's state. Everyone else find yer own)
http://www.in.gov/judiciary/selfservice/2338.htm
Jan 31 13 09:35 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Dan Brady
Posts: 605
Perth, Western Australia, Australia


Buzz Photography LLC wrote:
A friend asked me to be her photographer for her wedding out in Cali.  I live in Indiana.  I told her she should find someone else for a number of reasons, but mostly I did not want to mix "business and pleasure".  She is a good friend and I have seen what happens to other photographers when they do that and the friendship ends badly.

So she has found another photographer and this photographer is just bad.  I mean this is the wanna be photographer who's photos are dark, lots of noise, bad editing (where you try to make a black and white photo but only the red roses are in color.  Instead the roses, half the flower and half of the person's arm is in color) 

I realize we all have to start some where but this person is calling themselves a professional and I want my friends photos to come out and be good.  So my problem is where do I draw the line?  Do I just stand back and let the photographer work?  Do I offer a little help?  Do I just tell the photographer to get out of my way? 

Right now I feel that I should just stand back.  This is the photographer my friend has picked and I should respect her choices but at the same time, I feel kind of bad.

I don't know if I am going crazy, I checked the dates of the post over and over. But this is so similar to another post it is uncanny. All the responses were the same too.

Is there a glitch in the matrix?

Jan 31 13 11:28 pm  Link  Quote 
Photographer
Photography by Riddell
Posts: 638
Hemel Hempstead, England, United Kingdom


I'd tell your friend straight.

Tell her the photographer shes picked is useless and contructrively point out why.
Feb 01 13 02:33 am  Link  Quote 
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