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You've Got FAN MAIL
Occasionally I get Fan Mail sent to my booking mail account. Requests for a signed picture or simply a "hello" are quite sweet and expected normal however now and then I get some pretty odd ones. as follows; - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - dear future wife, iam a moroccan citizen,my name is hicham,i have 33 years old,i read u profile and i decide to send u this message for making a stronge relationship cause iam single and very interested to be u man and more also u are very welcome here in morocco,i invite u,i wait u answer soon,take care,my hot kisses and thank u. add me to: **(email erased for protection)** iam waiting for u news,i will love u deeply. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Im on the next flight. - Klaudia Care to Share yours? Feb 17 06 07:58 pm Link ok..my name is really doug... Feb 17 06 08:00 pm Link HAHA that's a great one -- actually its relatively cute lol here's ONE of my fav's - not sure if its really fan mail or just creep spam _____________________________ Soshanna, are you interested in coming to Miami if expenses., etc are covered? Please let me know & will send you an offer. Sincerely, Mick _______________________________ My response: Can you please send more details? Thank you. _______________________________ His response: Soshanna, nice to hear back from you & now bear with me as I explain my offer... I am currently in Miami Beach relaxing before I depart for Europe almost every month where I have apartments in London & Paris. Last year for the 4 months of Jan-July 2004 I flew over 100,000 miles and some of the locations I have visited include UK, France, Spain, New Zealand, Africa, United Arab Emirates, The Balkans & NY. Last summer I was in France, Italy, Greece, Amsterdam & Germany....In Sept returned to Miami after 3 week trip to Balkans & London from ....In early Oct I spent 2 weeks in London again & Dubai.....In Nov spent 10 days in Paris & The Balkans...Well you get the idea?!.....Hope to spend time in Miami Beach assuming the hurricanes stay away as meanwhile it is...sunny, warm....beautiful weather.... I find the experiences of different cultures, environments & dynamic situations exciting & stimulating from both pleasure & growth perspectives. I am approaching you since you might welcome these opportunities & experiences in your life. If you are interested in my offer please provide your photos & personal data when you respond. Knowledge of foreign language (s) will be a plus but not required. HONESTY IS REQUIRED ON BOTH OUR PARTS. Activity could involve everything from relaxing weekend on Miami Beach to international travel. I am a 42yo handsome, single, white American gentleman (5'8",155lbs, hazel eyes & brown hair) with an active life & seek a discrete, private & confidential young & beautiful (inside & out) female travel companion to join ME from time to time as it fits "our" schedules. I am not seeking prompt action and we will get to know each other by email, then phone, etc well before ever meeting. For the right girl this could be viewed as a paid vacation that could lead to other opportunities ( I know many interesting people) & both parties MUST treat the other with MUTUAL RESPECT! If you are not interested then perhaps you have a girlfriend that might be interested & I am open to hearing from her. Please understand that I realize that this approach is unusual and that I am taking a risk. I extend this in good taste & I thank you for your time. If you are interested please direct me to your photos, etc. Meanwhile thanks for your time and open-minded attitude! Feb 17 06 08:04 pm Link Soshanna wrote: HEY!! I asked you not to post that! Feb 17 06 08:10 pm Link David Moyle wrote: Haha OOPS! My Bad Mick.. er David.. Feb 17 06 08:13 pm Link Soshanna wrote: I swear I've heard this before or something very similar in my inbox... I've seen Miami, NYC, SF, LA, etc as "their home bases" and sometimes the stats "42 yo, 5'8", etc" change too Feb 17 06 08:15 pm Link Soshanna, that is plain weird. Please tell me you changed your email addy or at least blocked him? Could be a serial murderer OR WORSE a cereal murderer... what would we do without our morning staple? Feb 17 06 08:17 pm Link Well the weird thing is that he sent it to my private email which I'm not sure how he found it. I've had others... ... Hey, Iâm not trying to offend you so please donât be offended by this. I recently placed this ad on a casting website. Iâm trying to meet someone normal for a mutually beneficial âarrangement.â? I recently got out of a long term relationship and the last thing Iâm looking for is someone clingy and too attached. I work long, hard hours during the week and have custody of my 2yr old son on the weekends leaving me little to no time. Iâm really not looking for any of the headaches, mind games, or drama of the conventional relationship. So far, everyone Iâve met was either addicted to drugs or looked like the stripper type, which Iâm not looking for. Iâve had little luck finding someone. If you have any interest in this, just let me know. Again, sorry if youâre taking this the wrong way. Thanks. Jimmy I'm looking for an attractive female between the ages of 18-25 in need of financial assistance for college tuition, rent, bills, etc. I own a financial brokerage firm in OC and would be interested in hiring the right girl as an "outside sales consultant". You will be added to my company's payroll at $1000-$1500 every two weeks, wages depend on your availability. In return, I ask for maybe 2-3 hours of your time a week. Please, tell me about yourself, what times/days you will be available, your likes/dislikes, and attach a picture. I'm 28, fit, attractive. Feb 17 06 08:19 pm Link Soshanna wrote: Wow, you think these ever work on anyone? Feb 17 06 08:23 pm Link I'm 28, fit, attractive. *means* 48, fat, beastly. ... woulnd't a 28 year old handsome male probably already have a beautiful young wife or fiance at home? (...edit. As beautiful as Soshanna, maybe not, but possibly close.) Feb 17 06 08:27 pm Link .: Klaudia :. wrote: So you're implying there is something wrong with ugly, balding, fat, middle-aged men? Feb 17 06 08:30 pm Link David Moyle wrote: Maybe young girls desperate for cash. Feb 17 06 08:31 pm Link I've gotten some of those. After the first couple, I figured it was someone phishing for email accounts (when you respond, they know it's real, and then you end up with a bunch more spam). I used to have an online profile that listed my mail email address. I've since removed it. Otherwise, it's just plain creepy Feb 17 06 08:31 pm Link .: Klaudia :. wrote: Well, at least that is honest. These guys just sound desperate! Feb 17 06 08:32 pm Link David Moyle wrote: I think if you're ugly on the inside it shows outside. Feb 17 06 08:34 pm Link .: Klaudia :. wrote: Oh, sure, take a swipe at men less fortunate with their looks and then try to back out of it. Feb 17 06 08:39 pm Link David Moyle wrote: No, no, no! Feb 17 06 08:46 pm Link I should write one... Hi. I'm a fashion photographer in New York. I saw your pictures and just knew "I have to have that." I'm a 5'5" fixer-uper. 26, plenty of years left with proper maintanence. Do you like art lofts in old industrial buildings and/or the possibility of puppies? Feb 17 06 08:56 pm Link Ched wrote: Awww puppies! Feb 17 06 08:59 pm Link ok, for some reason my email address found its way into russia (well i know a lot of russina models) so anyway i occassionally get emails like the following. now i already know that these are scams, but i like to play along to see how far, or how ling they will correspond before they ask me for money. (yes i have a lot of free time on my hands sometimes) My dearest Chili! You make me happy! Your letters are like a present to me. You know, when I told my parents about you, they were very happy! This is the first time, when Iâm so happy and my eyes bright! I close my eyes, and I feel you in my arms, I would like to spend all my days with you, and I hope, that one day, I'll spend all of them with you. Every your letter are so important for me! I print all your letters and read them again at home. This night, I couldn't sleep. You've come in my dream, in my thoughts. You've come in my mind, in my night, and I dreamed to hold you in my arms, I dreamed that you're by me, taking my hand. I feel my heart is missing without you, without your presence the light appears black, and I feel emptiness in my life, in my skin, in my spirit. I dream about you, and I don't sleep, I token your letters in my hands, and I understood, that I want to meet you so much . I wait for our meeting like for the end of a tunnel, the tunnel of my life, and on this end, I can see a bright gleam. This gleam is you. Your image gleams like a possible hope, a fairy story, and a fairy dream. I'm seeing this bright gleam, and I want to run in its direction. I don't want you to stay only an idle fancy, I want you to become real, my reality. I want to share my life with you, to share my laugh and my tears, to share all my emotions and my feelings, my joys and my pains, my hopes and my despairs. And of course, I want, that you share everything with me, your thoughts, yours desires, everything. Would you like to share your life with me, would you like to give me the right to love you all your life? Dear Chili please, give me permission to love you, to kiss you, to caress you, to give you all my tenderness and my heart. I read your letters, I close my eyes, and I give free vent to my imagination, and I see you flying to me, taking my hand, and you come back with me in your arms. I dream about us together, you and me, flying under the stars, through the continents, around the world, around our world, in love, only in love. You are invading my heart and my mind. You are so great, so... I canât find the good word! I canât find enough words. May be Iâm too romantic, but I just write you words from my heart, I feel this and hope you feel the same. With impatience I wait for your answer. I dream of you day and night, yours forever,Elena. now ive been told by a few of the russian models, that these arent even real women, but they're men, who pay a model a few bucks to take pictures of them, and then they send them to hapless guys in the states, at some point they ask you to send money via western union to a travel agency to pay for a temporary visa and a plane ticket, of course you never see your money again Feb 17 06 09:00 pm Link Soshanna wrote: Honey .. would you go to the moon with me ..? Feb 17 06 09:02 pm Link Ched wrote: .: Klaudia :. wrote: Should I post it to Craigslist? Feb 17 06 09:09 pm Link .: Klaudia :. wrote: Ya, 23 is really gettin up there. That makes me about ready for depends I guess. Feb 17 06 09:09 pm Link .: Klaudia :. wrote: I once did an animated short called "cereal killers", which was a 3D animated 7 min short about a murder in the cereal isle in the market. Was kool, did the short circuit, won some awards. Feb 17 06 09:16 pm Link David Moyle wrote: Hahaha! Feb 17 06 09:20 pm Link I got one from a guy saying something like, "I really love those pretty legs!" Ummm that's not me in the photos, pal... Feb 17 06 09:33 pm Link Gabriel wrote: AHHH HA HAA HAAAH! Feb 17 06 09:35 pm Link Hey there, Just cooling my heels after my last interstellar flight. I have to say, you are the most stunning of all Earth girls I have ever seen. If you would permit me to implant a chip in the base of your neck, I'd love to show you a good time in the western spiral arm of the galaxy. You would put those Quazoid slave girls to shame, what with having two (TWO!) breasts. Please don't take offence, or think I'm wierd or anything. I just recycle my organs every 48 hours and transmogrify, depending on what planet we're on. This is for real. I just need your bank account number to move a small amount of my exiled family's fortune from the secret Golgonthan credit accounts in the Andromeda Galaxy right into your account. You can keep 10% as a favour - that's about $1 billion US, I think. No one will notice. Please please please please let me marry you right now. Please please please please please. I'm not drunk. Oh God. Please. Thanks for your time, Klaag The Almighty Feb 17 06 09:42 pm Link Eikona wrote: Amazing. Feb 17 06 09:45 pm Link .: Klaudia :. wrote: Sounds like a keeper, you should at least date him and learn a new culture. Good luck with it. Feb 17 06 10:00 pm Link Sent to me through OMP: Hi Gary, Followed by: Hi Gary,u can ask me for picture if u want.. Ya, I'll get back to ya.... Feb 17 06 10:59 pm Link Soshanna wrote: Sorry if you're taking this the wrong way? Is there a right way to take an offer like that? Feb 17 06 11:08 pm Link I think the cool thing is not that you get these "wonderful" emails but you KEEP them. thanks for sharing they are entertaining. -bill Feb 18 06 12:28 am Link My wife gets versions of the Moroccan and Soshanna almost every month or so. These guys have been on the net longer than i care to remember, or at least versions of the same sad email. The closer the online community you socialise in, the more you'll find out that just about every other model you know gets the same one too. I really hope no one takes these seriously, lol Feb 18 06 03:37 am Link .: Klaudia :. wrote: Well, if he somehow knew she was only going to live 'til the age of 52...;-) Feb 18 06 03:52 am Link I get all sorts of weird emails: hi Body: hey sexy...wow your amazing...anyway i was just wondering if you have any messanger so we could chat, share pics, or if u wanted i can turn my webcam on if ud like to see....anyways just let me know and hopefully ill get to talk to you some more Body: hey,i am looking for a submissive girl? r u? tell me about u u r beatiful i will live in new york next year Subject: hi there!! Body: i'm a guy and i'd like to meet new people and i was looking for a hot and sexy girl and I found you out!!! well, i think you're very attractive and stunning! this is my mail. (addy removed) if you don't care you could add me and add me as a frind of yours thank you for your attention and excuse me i just want to make friends and... bye take care... by the way you look really really sweet!! you are the woman of my dreams i swear it!!! i¡ve dreamt with you!!!!!!!!!! Lol those were a few i haen't cleaned out of my box yet. They're also pretty tame compared to what i normally get. Most of my "fan" emails are from guys who want me to tie them up and be mean to them, if only they knew how to read...... Feb 18 06 04:10 am Link David Moyle wrote: I tried to TELL you not to actually hit send when you typed it out! SOME dares aren`t meant to be carried out! Feb 18 06 04:39 am Link what a great idea, Publicize your private sent fan mail and spam mail to MM message boards. I bet this increases trust and faith in all legit offers between photographer and model. Sincerely Ron Blake Feb 18 06 05:40 am Link Yah it's gets annoying all the offers I get, for example: " I'm a 19 y/o stunning well proportioned 5'9' blonde with a obscenely large trust fund. I'm totally turned on by fetish photographers with an AARP membership.... " SOMEONE SAVE ME! Paul Feb 18 06 08:07 am Link I do get odd fan mail, but being an adult producer, it kinda goes with the territory. Most fan mail is indeed quite an ego boost, but occasionally I get the wackos, psychos, and such and just don't respond to them. Alot of the mail I get is actually for the ladies on my site, which I forward on. The strangest was this one guy who kept asking for custom shoots, first with Emma Sweet (who is now retired) then with a model I've worked with a few times named Kelly (she's not on MM) and a couple of other ladies I work with. He wants photos of the ladies sitting in the passenger seat of a car, dressed in an outfit he will provide (he described it as a little black dress and black boots). Nothing that I normally do, just sitting in the passenger seat. I'd do it if he ever coughed up the dough, but he always says his fiancee catches him and stops the money from coming... no money, no photos.  Feb 18 06 10:41 am Link |
