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Does anyone else feel bad when you deny a friend request???
I think I am a nice guy...so I feel bad when I deny a friend request because the model or photographers Avatar is sooooooo bad that I don't want it bringin' my page down! I mean, there was a time when my photography sucked really bad. Not to say it's all that great these days. I don't know maybe I am just a WUSS! Aug 06 05 01:56 am Link until recently I added everone, but then I had a page full of avatars that were bad and I thought, but these people are on the grain belt. Why are they my friends, they shoot swimsuit and stuff. I have now changed my policy to only accept people I think I mgiht have something in common with, Star Aug 06 05 01:59 am Link i only accept request with people i will like to work with and i know. it like myspace.. it all about a popularity contest. Aug 06 05 02:04 am Link I feel bad, and used to accept everyone. Now, I sort of leave it unanswered until I can figure out if the person really wants to have anything to do with me. So far I've never denied anyone, and only have deleted those that are no longer with us, but soon that will change. Denials and deletions will be forthcoming. I hope you can take a joke, too! Aug 06 05 02:07 am Link Don't feel badly. It doesn't send them a message saying that you rejected them, you heartless bastard. Aug 06 05 02:07 am Link Posted by Brian Diaz: It doesn't? Whew! Aug 06 05 02:10 am Link I am very strict about the appearance of the tags and friends that are visible on my front page. Aug 06 05 02:23 am Link i only request friends link to those who i would either want to shoot or like there work. ive only been here a month so i have few. basically the hot sexy girls that will do bikini "fashion" work because thats what i want to shoot. Aug 06 05 02:38 am Link Even if it did send them a message saying they were rejected, don't feel bad. We want to weed out the "Friend Collector's." No one wants this to become Myspace 2...right? Aug 06 05 02:43 am Link nope don´t feel bad about denying people... I only add people who I: A already know IRL, B really admire and want to work with in the future or C really admire but are to far away to work with but I somehow feel the need to torture myself by looking at their portfolios once in a while. There is no point in having 300 people on your friendslist... Aug 06 05 03:27 am Link I deleted a bunch. It felt good! Aug 06 05 03:28 am Link why would you want to hurt somesones feelings and turn them down? Aug 06 05 03:55 am Link Why would you feel bad? Have they openly expressed, in verbatim, a desire to work with you or communicate with you? I like to go by the rule that if a person really wants to be "friends" with you, he/she will toss you a line first. Aug 06 05 04:28 am Link Posted by infinite lux co: Exactly Aug 06 05 06:55 am Link I think I've only refused two people so far...and I regret one of those rejections [sorry GWC; I don't metabolize irony as well as I should]. Now whenever I get a request, I just take it as a compliment and add them. What's the harm in having a lot of people say they like what you do? Besides, I'm sure I've been added by people that think my avatar is bad, so who am i to judge? Aug 06 05 06:58 am Link I couldn't care less about what avatars turn up on my page. I have had some great, some not so great. I don't care. I'll take anyone. Doesn't really mean anything. Except one...I did deny one person because she was stirring up a bunch of drama and I don't like that. Aug 06 05 07:12 am Link Actually, me and my photographer buddy did a test. I had him "NOT APPROVE" me. The only thing it did was not add me. It didn't send me a message or anything. I now have a great deal of people who hit me up as well. I am willing to add anyone to my friends list...AS LONG AS you send me a comment/tag/PM. I mean sheesh is that to much to ask. This thing is such a popularity contest. There are some people who have over 1,000 friends. Look if that's the only way you can get your name out there..then obviously you aren't doing enough. Aug 06 05 07:12 am Link eek thats not geting ya name out there! 'friends' if i love the work and am really flattered ... or plan to work with in Ca or NY if there are tooo many i cant even find who i want so if anyone on my ''friends approved'' not from these places ... u can be delighted lol ps i would prefer comments and messages to TAGS as i seldom even see them and they just push the others out of the way Aug 06 05 07:53 am Link at first i was adding everyone because i felt bad. but i am no longer doing that. this is model mayhem, not my space. i am now adding people that i really admire, i actually know in person, or would love to work with someday. if people can't handle rejection, then this is the wrong industry to be in. we are all looking for different things when it comes to our work, so if i don't add someone, it's nothing personal. if they don't add me, i wouldn't take it personal either.  Aug 06 05 11:03 am Link I approve everyone who sends a friend request because I have usually talked with them on the shoutbox or they are close to me or they just like my work. People who judge your work based on who you have as your friends clearly don't know how this site works Aug 06 05 11:24 am Link Posted by Shayuma: I tried a similar test. Aug 06 05 12:01 pm Link People seem to be missing the point of a "reputation network" The way these sites work is in part so you can find friends of friends with common interests. Something like a party where you meet friends of a guy you know, but don't hang out with often enough to know anyone in his regular circle. In the case of MM - I might look at a model's profile and see that they've listed a photographer buddy as a friend. I can then go as that photographer if they've worked with said model and how was she to work with, etc... The idea is that you can judge the "reputation" of someone by looking at who they know. If they know the same people as you, it's likely you might get along, or would want to work together, etc. Unfortunately most of these sites that want to be Reputation Netwoks (Friendster, MySpace, etc) have ended up being popularity contests and the potential VALUE of the system has been completely lost. This is one area that OMP actually had done well - the ability to put some sort of rating (worked with, excellent work, etc) on acknowledgements. Aug 06 05 12:04 pm Link Posted by SayCheeZ!: I can! Aug 06 05 12:21 pm Link Posted by bencook2: Posted by SayCheeZ!: I can! I can't! Aug 06 05 12:24 pm Link NO. I won't accept you usually if you have a lot of nudity in your portfolio(photog.), because I don't want to give a someone a reason to feel welcome to talk to me about shooting nudity or implied nudity. I think your portfolio screams your intentions, if it's all one thing--that's all your after. And for some god awful reason people will still message me about nude crappe. Aug 06 05 12:39 pm Link I'm a troll, I have no friends 8) Aug 06 05 02:26 pm Link I only accept models i'll be working with one day or photogs who seem like cool peeps. Aug 06 05 02:33 pm Link I only deny fake agencies and sluggos. And since they are dead inside, there's no reason to feel guilty about hurting their feelings. Everyone else is welcome to the party. Aug 06 05 02:41 pm Link Posted by MHana: Posted by DarkFaerie: I agree with both these points. I think on an unconscious level, people really do associate you with whomever is connected to your page. I really don't think you're hurting anyone's feelings if you deny your friend request. Someone can always follow up with an e-mail if they're persistent, and then you'll just have to 'fess up about not being interested. Aug 06 05 02:46 pm Link Posted by bencook2: Accepting someone as a "friend" never depended on their avatar. Or even their profile most of the time. It had more to do with their personality, what their goals are, and how they interact with myself and others. I am also typically more likely to add someone that I do like their style (again not worrying about whether they would bring down my page) and am likely to have the opportunity to work with them. hehe I could care less what people think of my friends. Aug 06 05 02:49 pm Link "friends" is a very "cheesy" feature of MM ... Hey .. but I have to confess that having hot chiks as "friends" is better than nothing .. :-) Aug 06 05 06:52 pm Link so I just refuse "not so hot looking" "friend" request :-) Aug 06 05 06:54 pm Link nope Aug 06 05 07:29 pm Link I stopped asking people to be my friend and just add models I would like to shoot with to favorites and send them an email. Friends doesn't really do anything. I have denied a few friend requests, largely because their style completely mismatched mine. I wonder what plans Tyler has for the friends feature. I think I only have one or two people that I actually know in my friends list here. Aug 06 05 07:49 pm Link Nope. Aug 06 05 07:53 pm Link i recently got over the guilt thing and became more selective about who i'll add. i don't send out a lot of requests and i only send a request if i admire their work or might want to work with them. some people i've added because we've become "friends" through emails and forum conversations. some i've met irl and HAD to add them! i won't send a request unless i've sent them a note, tag or commented on their images. i admit, i've added one or two people simply because of a mutually odd sense of humor that made them stand out. i expect some form of communication before i accept a request. i even mention on my profile that i'll assume they are collecting names if they just send me a friend request and we've never had any interaction. i don't care about avatars. i've added some very inexperienced people with less than "fabulous" avatars because i like them. often, if they've not done any of the above, after i check out their work, i drop them a note and see what comes back. i'll even ask why they wanted to add me. one person's response was "...well, you're in new york." wtf? lol Aug 06 05 08:29 pm Link I add whoever adds me. Regardless of how their profile looks, it doesn't bring my page down. My images are what make my profile, not the people who choose to be friends with me. I don't utilize my friends list, so how does it hurt me to have them? I think its pointless to be picky about who you add because of how they "look" on your profile. Let your work speak for itself. The only way I can understand being picky is if you actually utilize your friends list and want it limited to the people that can help you utilize it the way you'd like - ie. people you want to work with etc. Aug 06 05 09:03 pm Link Good point Soshanna. I have denied friend requests on myspace since I don't want my bulletin crowded with peoples blogs I don't know (among other reasons). Although, I have never denied a friend request on MM. I could give 2 shits about what other people's avatars look like on MM. -TMH Aug 06 05 09:13 pm Link Posted by Timothy M. Hughes: I can understand the myspace thing since there is an actual reason to limit. MM doesn't have a reason yet... and if they ever implement one, then by all means.. be picky. Aug 06 05 09:36 pm Link Here's a spin...try not to get dizzy now... When you look at someone's profile, do you really take the time to wade through all of their friends? Does it matter that much? P not J Aug 06 05 09:39 pm Link |
