Benny wrote:
umm why don't you just go pick her up? that would really stick it to her mom more that bitching at her

Damn you Benny, you beat me to it! :-)

Farenell Photography wrote:

Damn you Benny, you beat me to it! :-)

yea I know I did

Benny wrote:
umm why don't you just go pick her up? that would really stick it to her mom more that bitching at her

because i failed the driving test, and it's a 4 hour walk.

Alexei Fomin wrote:
because i failed the driving test, and it's a 4 hour walk.

ok then Cab, Taxi, friend

Eric Muss-Barnes wrote:
You're dating a girl who lives with her parents?

How old are you two?

I'm 21 and she's 23. We're completely opposite and all, but i love her to death and she seems to give a darn too.

Glamour Boulevard wrote:
Besides, does your town not have cab or bus service?

Ann arbor does, but half the companies don't pick up next door in ypsi, and busses are not running any more. this is podunk, getting around is either on foot or get a ride. as for a cab, that would cost quite a bit.

Alexei Fomin wrote:

Ann arbor does, but half the companies don't pick up next door in ypsi, and busses are not running any more. this is podunk, getting around is either on foot or get a ride. as for a cab, that would cost quite a bit.

if you have the funds and it is that important to you. do it.split it maybe?

Alexei Fomin wrote:
I'm 21

how many times did you fail this test, we are allowed to get our license here in NJ at 17

Alexei Fomin wrote:
ok, this forum represents a trusted board of advisors for me, and i need some advice that i find too dificult to speak to my friends about. the situation...

My gf was supposed to get to my parents' house already to bring in the new year with us. on her way out of the house my gf's mother grabbed the keys to the second car which she knew my gf was supposed to take to get here, and even though she is about 5-10 minutes away, she will not return the keys. my girlfriend has already told them that one way or another she is going to see me today, and they are still making up excuses. my question - since her mother's attitude has effected my whole evening's plans, do i have a right to be upset enough at the mother to call her tomorrow afternoon and bitch her out. the woman already doesn't like me for being an atheist, and hates my guts because i am dating her daughter on top of that. so i don't really care about staying on her good side since i never was there in the first place. if you were in my place? would you talk to the mother about this issue?
Alexei

her ouma is jealous that her child is going to your mothers house. I think. Its classic. Probably best to let the girl do the talking, if you talk to her mama, chances are shell not like you very much.

Alexei Fomin wrote:
because i failed the driving test, and it's a 4 hour walk.

This is when you find out who your true friends are. If you had any, one of them'd say "sure, I'll go get your nookie for ya! no prob." and you could all drink beer and have a good time and her mom would explode at the thought that her daughter was out and DIDN'T HAVE A RIDE HOME and would have to SPEND THE NIGHT. LOL!!!

Another trick would be for her to call a local hotel and see if they have a room, then ask if they have a shuttle that can pick her up. Most decent hotels do. Then her mom's HEAD WOULD EXPLODE and you could tell her you spent NY eve in a hot tub in a hotel room drinking champagne reading to her from the atheist's bible while she was bent over the edge of the hot tub.

GWC!

Glamour Studio /Gary wrote:

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I think it is time for a Vortex.  It has been a while.

Shall we give her a show?

vortex??????

Vorthex!!!!!!!!!!

:-)
Aliens were controlling my thoughts.
!

hello

GWC wrote:
So what happened?!?!?! how did it all end?!?!?!

We are WAITING for a REPORT!!

GWC!!!

The mother/daughter story or the vortex?

Alexei Fomin wrote:
ok, this forum represents a trusted board of advisors for me, and i need some advice that i find too dificult to speak to my friends about. the situation...

My gf was supposed to get to my parents' house already to bring in the new year with us. on her way out of the house my gf's mother grabbed the keys to the second car which she knew my gf was supposed to take to get here, and even though she is about 5-10 minutes away, she will not return the keys. my girlfriend has already told them that one way or another she is going to see me today, and they are still making up excuses. my question - since her mother's attitude has effected my whole evening's plans, do i have a right to be upset enough at the mother to call her tomorrow afternoon and bitch her out. the woman already doesn't like me for being an atheist, and hates my guts because i am dating her daughter on top of that. so i don't really care about staying on her good side since i never was there in the first place. if you were in my place? would you talk to the mother about this issue?
Alexei

Ok, well this is probably too late to help you, but I'll try anyway.

Until this year, the parents of every girl I've ever dated loved me...I mean like asking me when I was going to propose loved me.

This year I began dating a girl who, due to age difference, is quite a bit younger than me.  She's professional, and intelligent, but she's quite a bit of a daddy's girl.  She lives in her parent's home because she's smart and having just graduated college she wants to get bills out of the way, but this only perpetuates the idea of her being a little girl in her father's head.  By extension of her being a little girl, it causes him to view *me* as young...like a child.

This has resulted in several very interesting exchanges because I have long since grown up, and this man thinks I don't have a brain in my head.  Exchanges such as; him telling her that I should always pick her up even though he just bought her a new car and she loves to drive; him telling me, "it's not like you're running a business," in reference to my chosen occupation as a freelance photographer and owner of a photography collective; him calling me, "that short guy," in reference to me when I wasn't in the room (I'm 5'11"...I haven't been called short since high school).

In all of this I have held my tongue.  Why? Because regardless of the fact that he's insulted me at every turn, he's doing it out of love and protectiveness of his daughter.  I doubt seriously he even comes close to realizing what he's doing...he probably hasn't even figured out how old I am (28 to her 22 by the way), and he definitely hasn't bothered to figure out how old she is.  One day he will realize, but these things take time.

In your particular case, it sounds as though your girlfriend is also just entering the stages of her separation from her parents (as are you).  Girls don't separate from their parents very easily or very well.  Just be happy that there's someone else out there that loves her as much as you do, and that there is someone concerned for her safety and well being.  If you just let it be it will be a thousand times better for her to deal with it herself.

By all means commiserate with her about it when you two get together and talk, but don't confront her parents...she's been doing it longer and is much better at it.

area291 wrote:
It ain't an issue of God beliefs, pal.  You have loser stamped on your forehead upon making an appearance in front of her mother.

So it's not just me.
Thank goodness I thought I had finally lost all compassion.

Alexei Fomin wrote:
the woman already doesn't like me for being an atheist

This guy could give atheism a bad name...

raveneyes wrote:

Ok, well this is probably too late to help you, but I'll try anyway.

Until this year, the parents of every girl I've ever dated loved me...I mean like asking me when I was going to propose loved me.

This year I began dating a girl who, due to age difference, is quite a bit younger than me.  She's professional, and intelligent, but she's quite a bit of a daddy's girl.  She lives in her parent's home because she's smart and having just graduated college she wants to get bills out of the way, but this only perpetuates the idea of her being a little girl in her father's head.  By extension of her being a little girl, it causes him to view *me* as young...like a child.

This has resulted in several very interesting exchanges because I have long since grown up, and this man thinks I don't have a brain in my head.  Exchanges such as; him telling her that I should always pick her up even though he just bought her a new car and she loves to drive; him telling me, "it's not like you're running a business," in reference to my chosen occupation as a freelance photographer and owner of a photography collective; him calling me, "that short guy," in reference to me when I wasn't in the room (I'm 5'11"...I haven't been called short since high school).

In all of this I have held my tongue.  Why? Because regardless of the fact that he's insulted me at every turn, he's doing it out of love and protectiveness of his daughter.  I doubt seriously he even comes close to realizing what he's doing...he probably hasn't even figured out how old I am (28 to her 22 by the way), and he definitely hasn't bothered to figure out how old she is.  One day he will realize, but these things take time.

In your particular case, it sounds as though your girlfriend is also just entering the stages of her separation from her parents (as are you).  Girls don't separate from their parents very easily or very well.  Just be happy that there's someone else out there that loves her as much as you do, and that there is someone concerned for her safety and well being.  If you just let it be it will be a thousand times better for her to deal with it herself.

By all means commiserate with her about it when you two get together and talk, but don't confront her parents...she's been doing it longer and is much better at it.

James, those are the wisest and most thoughtful words I've read on this entire message board in a long time!  You are clearly mature beyond your 28 years!  It is a fact that we are and always will be our parents children no matter how old we are.  The age difference you mention isn't much.  My dad and mom had a dozen years between them ... my dad being the older.  I don't even want to tell you how much older I am to the 20 somethings I date! But remember that you are as young as you feel!      Happy New Year!

lll wrote:
Find someone else.

And pass your driving test.  Make it your 2006 resolution.

But then all my girlfriends' parents want to adopt me, so I have no idea what you are dealing with.

Smart advise there Leo!

He has no reason to be confrontational with the mom.  The daughter has had her mom way longer than she has had him as a b/f and will continue to have her mom there for her.  Religion is only an excuse.  Couples over come that difference quite often!

Nemi wrote:
HAHAHAHAHHAH Helllloooo livejournal. "bitch her out" oh god, I can't stop laughing...

Also, a 5 mintue drive is not a 4 hour walk, even if you are gimp with fins instead of feet. Try again mr. silly highschool excuses.

i said her mom has the keys 5 minutes away from her, but they live about 20-25 miles away from here and that is a 4 hour walk.

Tim Lee wrote:

how many times did you fail this test, we are allowed to get our license here in NJ at 17

i was mortally afraid of getting behind the wheel for a few years after i got hit by a van, and a few years later run over by a pick up.

Alexei Fomin wrote:
ok, this forum represents a trusted board of advisors for me, and i need some advice that i find too dificult to speak to my friends about. the situation...

My gf was supposed to get to my parents' house already to bring in the new year with us. on her way out of the house my gf's mother grabbed the keys to the second car which she knew my gf was supposed to take to get here, and even though she is about 5-10 minutes away, she will not return the keys. my girlfriend has already told them that one way or another she is going to see me today, and they are still making up excuses. my question - since her mother's attitude has effected my whole evening's plans, do i have a right to be upset enough at the mother to call her tomorrow afternoon and bitch her out. the woman already doesn't like me for being an atheist, and hates my guts because i am dating her daughter on top of that. so i don't really care about staying on her good side since i never was there in the first place. if you were in my place? would you talk to the mother about this issue?
Alexei

Absolutely NOT.  It is up to your gf to stand up to her parents.  And if she is living at home with her parents, then she needs to move out if she wants the freedom she is not getting.

area291 wrote:
The mother is clearly in the right by looking after the best interest of her daughter.  If I had a daughter I wouldn't let her hang with someone not smart enough to pass the easiest test in the world and can't afford cab fare.

It ain't an issue of God beliefs, pal.  You have loser stamped on your forehead upon making an appearance in front of her mother.

Easiest test in the world? that would be the SAT's. as for the driving test, I had an examiner that was too short to have the same line of sight i did and therefore whenever i hit the breaks, she would take off points. if she had been 3-4 inches taller i would have passed with flying colors.

Mary wrote:
oh and the thing that scares me the most is the following statement.

"ok, this forum represents a trusted board of advisors for me"

Don't worry, Mary. I'm sure he only obeys advice on these forums if they concur with statements from the Magic 8 Ball.

Mary wrote:
oh and the thing that scares me the most is the following statement.

"ok, this forum represents a trusted board of advisors for me"

hey, i like to speak well of people before i ask for their advice. and just because i ask for advice doesn't mean i'm going to take it, i just want input on what to do and combine the ideas into something that works for me when i get a few versions.