Jules NYC wrote:

It is normal to feel down.
Everyone has their own level how far they descend into the well.

I can't just say, 'feel better' when you embrace such a dark emotion.
I can however say, all things do pass.

Think of a darkened state like an ill-timed storm cloud.
Listen to this song, it's a beautiful melody; there are bright tones that let the light in.

Sometimes emotions can get you down like a bad lover, but life itself goes on and on and on............................................................................

Again, all things do pass, but you don't have to.

Peace, Love & Light
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VC02wGj5gPw

Thanks.

Photography InFocus wrote:
Thanks.

You are very welcome.

Tim Little Photography wrote:
I'm sorry you are having a tough day Star. I am too. I am close to the point where I can't walk at all and it has me bummed out as well as in terrible pain. Star my friend, I have you in my thoughts and prayers.

thinking of you
keeping you in my prayers

KOLMANS STUDIOS wrote:
Hallo All,
Been in the dumps again,this whole weekend.:-((

I'm sorry you are feeling down. It seems to be hitting a lot of us all at once. Just remember that it will get better and you never have to go through any of this alone. You have friends here who understand. You can PM me anytime you want. I hope and pray that the rest of the day gives you shining sun and happiness!

Star Child wrote:
I've made it to Monday morning.

KOLMANS STUDIOS wrote:
Final round of my divorce comes up,and ya,it really stirred up lots of bad emotions in me.In our contry,the court allows a three month reconsilication period,before issueing final divorce papers.
The sad part is,according to my ex wife,s lawyer,i,m the BAD GUY.None of the other parties mistakes,wrong doings is on the table.Only MINE.
People can be really CRUEL,and to think,its from somebody i loved and still love,even after all the bad things said about me,finger pointing and all.But i was the FOOL.She did the same thing with her previous husband.He arrived home,and she was gone.I knew she was married before,but due to respect for her,i never pushed her to tell me everything,well,from what i learned now,i do not think,she ever woudl have told me all.

One moment we was kissing each other good bye at the airport(in my wildest dreams,i never ever was prepared for what happened next),next moment,i hear that she wants a divorce via cellphone and internet.No actual face to face contact after that.That happened days before CHRISTMAS too.

I come in here once in a while to offer support, joy... etc.

This really struck a chord with me.  When I hear stories like this, it cements my feeling on the seriousness of marriage and making that choice.

First please know, that you can not own all of the fault here.  Relationships take two.  I don't know you or her for a crack in the wall, but if she has a case history of doing the same thing, then Oh well.

I know you still feel emotions of 'love' for this woman.  It's only natural.  Your feelings are genuine. 

Sometimes people surprise you.  They can jackknife emotions.  I don't understand it but it happens.  That's within their character.  Impossible to emotionally understand this NOW, but intellectually please try to...

You are lucky to part with someone who doesn't genuinely reciprocate the love you have to offer.

In the interim and it's painful, don't let your emotions get the best of you in the Divorce.  People get damn vindictive through the process; just make sure you get what is fair.

I never could understand how someone who pledges their whole life to you can not consider your feelings even as a human being. Even if people grow apart and can not fulfill a lifetime love, there should always be care of one's well-being in life.

Not everyone rolls like that.

Time does heal all wounds.
It won't be easy for a while, but you will emerge with a new life path.

I wish you the best of luck.

KOLMANS STUDIOS wrote:
Final round of my divorce comes up,and ya,it really stirred up lots of bad emotions in me.In our contry,the court allows a three month reconsilication period,before issueing final divorce papers.
The sad part is,according to my ex wife,s lawyer,i,m the BAD GUY.None of the other parties mistakes,wrong doings is on the table.Only MINE.
People can be really CRUEL,and to think,its from somebody i loved and still love,even after all the bad things said about me,finger pointing and all.But i was the FOOL.She did the same thing with her previous husband.He arrived home,and she was gone.I knew she was married before,but due to respect for her,i never pushed her to tell me everything,well,from what i learned now,i do not think,she ever woudl have told me all.

One moment we was kissing each other good bye at the airport(in my wildest dreams,i never ever was prepared for what happened next),next moment,i hear that she wants a divorce via cellphone and internet.No actual face to face contact after that.That happened days before CHRISTMAS too.

I can tell your heart is broken. I've had my heart broken in a relationship that ended suddenly and painfully. All I can tell you is it will get better. You are going to feel better at some point.

There are seven stages of grief. One may be worse than the other but usually the first stage is the worse and that where you are now.

1: SHOCK- You didn't see it coming.

2: Pain- Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.

3: ANGER- You are feeling much of that now. You must be careful not to allow your   
               anger to cause you to hurt someone or get you in trouble.

4: DEPRESSION- Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning outsiders. Seek help from a therapists if you need help working through this.

5: THE UPWARD TURN- The depression lets go and you start to see that life goes on and it is worth living. You start to feel good again!

6: RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH- You will review your marriage and the events that ended it through clear eyes and mind.

7: ACCEPTANCE- You learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness but you accept the reality and move forward to a happier life.

I hope for nothing but the best for you my friend. You have many people here who are on your side. Reach out anytime you want!

A  K  A  L  I   S wrote:
Kind of glad I saw this thread. I've been going in and out of depression for the past few years as well as anxiety attacks among other anxiety related issues. Had to admit to my parents last week about all of this including an attempted suicide and suicidal thoughts..


Trying to get on the right track and climb out of this hole. Finally talking with a psychologist.

Welcome to the thread. You are going to find a bunch of caring, wonderful people here. We are all dealing with something so we can all relate to each other. I hope your parents are being supportive. Suicidal thoughts are a clear indicator of clinical level depression. The good thing is there is much that can be done to treat depression these days. I have PTSD with Major Depressive Disorder-Severe and a nasty anxiety disorder that results in flashbacks and other nasty stuff. I suffered with the depression for years when I could have been seeing someone and feeling normal again. You have done the right thing to see professionals and I want to wish you great success in beating it. If you ever need to unload or want info or just talk feel free to PM me. All the best to you!

Tim

Tim Little Photography wrote:
Welcome to the thread. You are going to find a bunch of caring, wonderful people here. We are all dealing with something so we can all relate to each other. I hope your parents are being supportive. Suicidal thoughts are a clear indicator of clinical level depression. The good thing is there is much that can be done to treat depression these days. I have PTSD with Major Depressive Disorder-Severe and a nasty anxiety disorder that results in flashbacks and other nasty stuff. I suffered with the depression for years when I could have been seeing someone and feeling normal again. You have done the right thing to see professionals and I want to wish you great success in beating it. If you ever need to unload or want info or just talk feel free to PM me. All the best to you!

Tim

It really was a surprise seeing a thread dedicated to helping people with these issues. For now 4-6 years i've just dealt with it and sort of socially retracted and kept everything in. It kind of blindsided my parents, and I tried my hardest to put on a fake face when i visited them. Co-workers knew about it as i almost always keep to myself and rarely take breaks.

I agree with "could have been seeing someone and feeling normal again", almost feel desperate to get this dark cloud off of me. I am hoping you are doing better and seeing someone as well Tim, that sounds pretty uncomfortable to have to relive flashbacks. Anxiety has the best of me and I know it only fuels depression even further.

I'm starting to admit a lot and talk a lot more about all this, so I may take you up on your offer to unload and talk. It is honestly helping me cope better letting people know, rather then bottle it all up with my apartment lights all turned off and me just sitting on the floor... Or even grab my keys and drive with no direction for hours.

Thank you!

Anthony

Tim Little Photography wrote:
It's therapy day for me. Last week, for the first time ever, I came up on repressed memories that frightened me so much I couldn't deal with them. I mentally ran away. I'm getting to the hard stuff now. The ugly bloody deformed stuff. I would appreciate all of your kind thoughts and prayers. I love you all so much, thank you for accepting me as I am.

Tim

Will do and you will get through it, my friend

Star Child wrote:

Will do and you will get through it, my friend

Thank you Star. The session was a very very good one. I broke through some hard stuff and feel better because of it. I cannot tell you all how much it means to know that I have people here who care. I love all of you and I appreciate your kindness very much!

Tim Little Photography wrote:
It's therapy day for me. Last week, for the first time ever, I came up on repressed memories that frightened me so much I couldn't deal with them. I mentally ran away. I'm getting to the hard stuff now. The ugly bloody deformed stuff. I would appreciate all of your kind thoughts and prayers. I love you all so much, thank you for accepting me as I am.

Tim

Photography InFocus wrote:
hey this is helene's partner (business), i'm a guy
all girls except my mother, grandmother and two sisters seem to hate me....snip

Guy? Odd.....

So, who are you really?

Photography InFocus wrote:
hey this is helene's partner (business), i'm a guy
all girls except my mother, grandmother and two sisters seem to hate me
it's so depressing
i'm in my 30s and never been on even a single date
it's too late for me to find romantic love
very sad, but i must accept reality
i see girls with guys who are total losers: emotionally, physically, and verbally abuse them, cheat on them, are dishonest, yell and curse at them, i would never do any of that. i am sensitive guy and respect women, but no woman ever will give me a chance
i've totally given up on women, there is no point in even trying anymore, i can't stand any more rejection, enough is enough, i will be single and just got to learn to be happy as a single guy. oh well.

Hi. So you are not the Mayhem Member for this profile? I'll just say that you might want to get some help with your relationship problem. I didn't want to not respond to your post but I find it awkward when it is someone using another person's membership info. Good luck to you.

3eggyolks wrote:
I think this thread is amazing!

There was a period I was very down. I was contemplating on how to end, which building, impulse to just walk out on the road to an oncoming vehicle, wishing I didnt exist because I am hurting so much.
I couldn't do it, cause my mum would be devastated. I could only hurt myself. I am no longer afraid of silly stuff like the ghost etc, I am afraid one day I would hurt myself really bad.

I still struggle with the thoughts of hurting myself.

I would count and breathe if I get upset.
I am always listening to music, so I would think about anything silly.
and work helps to keep me occupied

Well we feel you are pretty amazing! I was looking at your portfolio and I'm amazing at all the unique talent you have!

Please don't ever hurt yourself. You are right that your mum would be devastated. The world needs you. I know there are time you may not see that or feel it but please believe me that it is true. I have severe depression and there was a time when I was always thinking of hurting myself or taking my life. Getting therapy changed everything for me. It sounds like it might be helpful for you. I want to encourage you to look in to it. If therapy isn't available where you are at then there are other things you can do. Being open and honest about your feelings is very helpful. Coming here and sharing will be helpful for you and also for someone else someday. The people in this thread are so amazingly wonderful! You have people here who really care about you and want to be helpful.

If I can be of assistance to you please feel free to private message me. I've been helped so much by these great people here, I know you will love the kind, supportive attitude you find here!!!

Tim

Jules NYC wrote:

I never could understand how someone who pledges their whole life to you can not consider your feelings even as a human being. Even if people grow apart and can not fulfill a lifetime love, there should always be care of one's well-being in life.

This has baffled me too.  I don't dwell on it though.  I just take care of things myself.  No friends to go to for help.  It makes me stronger.

Star Child wrote:
Yeah, I guess it is Friday

Thanks for the confirmation Star!