ArunaDiesPretty wrote:
Thanks for your support, everyone.  I posted a Thank You reply. ^

FYI, my screen name is inspired by my depression...and an Everclear song, so I am not ignorant to depression.  Just been suffering from it for 40 years with no help from society.

I will be honest, I was wondering about your username here.

And welcome. Pull up a chair and make yourself comfortable. Sometimes just talking things out here with us can offer some help. We all do care very much. We're known to lean on each other when we're feeling down, and offer a shoulder when others are.

No pressure. Just be you.

ArunaDiesPretty wrote:
Thanks for your support, everyone.  I posted a Thank You reply. ^

FYI, my screen name is inspired by my depression...and an Everclear song, so I am not ignorant to depression.  Just been suffering from it for 40 years with no help from society.

Thank you for clarifying your past.  Please be assured that the people in this thread are here to support you - read almost any page in it and you'll see this to be true.  Those of us who post regularly have suffered badly from depression and other mood disorders and hence can be very defensive when we perceive something that looks like an attack on what we do here.  I apologize if you found my earlier post offensive.

Society is pretty shitty when it comes to supporting people who are depressed.  This thread is a place where people understand depression, and do what we can to provide support.  Despite your rocky start here, I hope you come to find this to be a safe place to talk with people who share your pain.

Lawrence Guy wrote:
FYI, for those who are wondering where I've been, I'm fine.  I'm super busy and super tired, but feeling pretty good.  I'm sorry I haven't been around to be supportive.  My thoughts are with you all, as always.

I have not posted in a couple of pages either. I'm just trying to deal with myself, I still think about you all every day.

ETA: WTH happened in here? MOD warnings, in THIS thread??

ETA2: Ah, I see it's all better now

Lawrence Guy wrote:
Here's a big WIN for me!

I was editing photos today, and I realized that once I complete the four photoshoots I have scheduled for this month I will have enough material to finally try for a gallery show!  Of course, the operative word is "try," but it appears that all this hard work is really paying off.  I have a lot of quality work that hasn't gotten into my portfolio.  A few months of photoshopping and selection and I'll have between 20 and 50 photos that I think are show-worthy.

I expect it will be another year before my work can possibly hit a gallery, but I'm ready to start selling myself.

YAY!! *BIG BEAR HUGZ*

ArunaDiesPretty wrote:
Thanks for your support, everyone.  I posted a Thank You reply. ^

FYI, my screen name is inspired by my depression...and an Everclear song, so I am not ignorant to depression.  Just been suffering from it for 40 years with no help from society.

Everyone else already said it, so I'll just add a welcome here

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

Your posts didn't indicate that you were suffering from depression. We couldn't know that. They came across as more of an angry rant at the idea of the thread without really knowing what the thread is all about.

If we came across rude or harsh, it's because we do care deeply about this and it is a very emotional topic for all of us. Please feel free to join us, though. I assure you that you will be very welcome here.

This...

Lawrence Guy wrote:

Thank you for clarifying your past.  Please be assured that the people in this thread are here to support you - read almost any page in it and you'll see this to be true.  Those of us who post regularly have suffered badly from depression and other mood disorders and hence can be very defensive when we perceive something that looks like an attack on what we do here.  I apologize if you found my earlier post offensive.

Society is pretty shitty when it comes to supporting people who are depressed.  This thread is a place where people understand depression, and do what we can to provide support.  Despite your rocky start here, I hope you come to find this to be a safe place to talk with people who share your pain.

Thank you so much. I'm really sorry. I posted that after the negative feedback I got from the Critique forum.  I thought this thread was a sharp contrast to THAT forum.  I guess I got kind of jealous of the support people were getting here and took my frustration out on it. But that wasn't anyone's fault here, so I'm sorry. Thank you, everyone, for understanding. 

I am just going to stay off the Critique forum now because it has a very bitter effect on me.

ArunaDiesPretty wrote:
Thank you so much. I'm really sorry. I posted that after the negative feedback I got from the Critique forum.  I thought this thread was a sharp contrast to THAT forum.  I guess I got kind of jealous of the support people were getting here and took my frustration out on it. But that wasn't anyone's fault here, so I'm sorry. Thank you, everyone, for understanding.

Understanding is what we (try) to be about  

ArunaDiesPretty wrote:
I am just going to stay off the Critique forum now because it has a very bitter effect on me.

Ah.  Some people use Critique to knock people down in order to feel superior.  It's possible to recognize that eventually, but it's always hard to not let it affect you.  In general I only go into Critique for the fun threads, like "My cat will critique your port."  (Your port has too many people, not enough mice.)

ArunaDiesPretty wrote:

Thank you so much. I'm really sorry. I posted that after the negative feedback I got from the Critique forum.  I thought this thread was a sharp contrast to THAT forum.  I guess I got kind of jealous of the support people were getting here and took my frustration out on it. But that wasn't anyone's fault here, so I'm sorry. Thank you, everyone, for understanding. 

I am just going to stay off the Critique forum now because it has a very bitter effect on me.

New member. Hey! Come in and have some ........ some, well whateverwegotinthefridge.

Hi everybody. Feeling a new low coming on so I'm being challenged.. hang with me.

JanaeAshley wrote:
So I was told early awakening is part of depression... is that always the case though? With me I have major anxiety along with the depression and they have put me on klonopin to allow me to actually fall asleep. Now I wake up at like 8 am wide awake and I feel rested. I dont really feel depressed like I was feeling for about a month. I do however have the early awakenings.. Does this just mean Im finally getting some sleep or do you think this is actually depression??

Im so confused about my mind lately.

Trust yourself, if you are feeling better and getting better rest and feeling less depressed, chances are that you are in fact doing better. Keep it simple and try not to overthink things. Just bring it up next time you see your doc.

I wish I could sleep into till 8

Lawrence Guy wrote:
In general I only go into Critique for the fun threads, like "My cat will critique your port."  (Your port has too many people, not enough mice.)

your cat has not critiqued me yet....

iimagein wrote:
Thanks so much to everyone involved in keeping this going...I find it miraculous I came across this during this particular time (dealing with suicidal depression).

You're welcome, Clyde. Stick with us. It's a tough road to travel. Sometimes we take such a beating, but please remember this... part of your struggle is the enemy trying to stop you from reaching your full potential. To stop you from achieving. The enemy has a lot of weapons at his disposal and one of them is your mental health, but here's the trick - he can't defeat you. You can give in to him. You can surrender, but the enemy cannot beat you.
The loudest voice the enemy will use against you is your own, but remember this, you have a strategic value to this world that is way powerful. If you didn't the enemy wouldn't be trying to stop you now before you get too strong. Believe it. You're here for a reason.

We are in a battle here to save our lives from mental illness. In this thread, in this group we are Brothers In Arms joined together to fight back and reclaim our lives from mental illness purgatory.

Star Child wrote:
You're welcome, Clyde. Stick with us. It's a tough road to travel. Sometimes we take such a beating, but please remember this... part of your struggle is the enemy trying to stop you from reaching your full potential. To stop you from achieving. The enemy has a lot of weapons at his disposal and one of them is your mental health, but here's the trick - he can't defeat you. You can give in to him. You can surrender, but the enemy cannot beat you.
The loudest voice the enemy will use against you is your own, but remember this, you have a strategic value to this world that is way powerful. If you didn't the enemy wouldn't be trying to stop you now before you get too strong. Believe it. You're here for a reason.

We are in a battle here to save our lives from mental illness. In this thread, in this group we are Brothers In Arms joined together to fight back and reclaim our lives from mental illness purgatory.

Thanks for the knowledge and kind words. I told someone I cared about, and she distanced herself away from me, she sugar coated it with positive statements, but basically said she wouldn't be there for me, and that she's not speaking to me for a few weeks...I feel betrayed, she made me feel like I did something wrong for telling her (she said we need time to work on ourselves, but I always feel like i'm working to improve myself). And her parents think we need "time apart" since they found out. I guess they're afraid of me, or think i'm strange...I guess they think finding that out puts her in danger. Her father told me she's not my therapist, but I never treated her as such, never asked her for advice, I just thought she'd be supportive when I told her. I need to find a place to go to for therapy.

iimagein wrote:
Thanks for the knowledge and kind words. I told someone I cared about, and she distanced herself away from me, she sugar coated it with positive statements, but basically said she wouldn't be there for me, and that she's not speaking to me for a few weeks...I feel betrayed, she made me feel like I did something wrong for telling her (she said we need time to work on ourselves, but I always feel like i'm working to improve myself). And her parents think we need "time apart" since they found out. I guess they're afraid of me, or think i'm strange...I guess they think finding that out puts her in danger. Her father told me she's not my therapist, but I never treated her as such, never asked her for advice, I just thought she'd be supportive when I told her. I need to find a place to go to for therapy.

Yet another example of why I think psychology should be taught in grade school.  Too many people are ignorant and scared of mood disorders and mental illness.  With better education we wouldn't feel so much like an oppressed minority.  As it is, though, society almost treats us like lepers.

I'm going to start calling this thread the MM Leper Colony.  Nah, too cynical.

Myself, I'm very open about my mood disorders.  If I haven't mentioned it to someone by the third or fourth conversation I'm really slipping.  Getting the info out early helps weed out the people who aren't able to understand.

ANNtastic wrote:
[...]

I love you!

ArunaDiesPretty wrote:

Thank you so much. I'm really sorry. I posted that after the negative feedback I got from the Critique forum.  I thought this thread was a sharp contrast to THAT forum.  I guess I got kind of jealous of the support people were getting here and took my frustration out on it. But that wasn't anyone's fault here, so I'm sorry. Thank you, everyone, for understanding. 

I am just going to stay off the Critique forum now because it has a very bitter effect on me.

If you want the good critiques, jump in on one of my critique threads. I try to make them fun but still give some advice. I have never been mean or nasty...I'm not sure I know how.

Lawrence Guy wrote:

Yet another example of why I think psychology should be taught in grade school.  Too many people are ignorant and scared of mood disorders and mental illness.  With better education we wouldn't feel so much like an oppressed minority.  As it is, though, society almost treats us like lepers.

I'm going to start calling this thread the MM Leper Colony.  Nah, too cynical.

Myself, I'm very open about my mood disorders.  If I haven't mentioned it to someone by the third or fourth conversation I'm really slipping.  Getting the info out early helps weed out the people who aren't able to understand.

I agree...they made me feel even worse, like "oh you have a serious mental issue, we can't be around you". Her dad said it wasn't normal for me to feel that way, which was obvious. I mentioned that I was making an effort to seek help. Our 1 yr anniversary was on Saturday and I couldn't contact her because she stated she wouldn't answer my calls/texts.

Miss Murder Photography wrote:
Hello Photons!  I missed you while i was brigged lol.

I've had some awesome win recently.  My friends that are launching their model agency want me heavily involved with it.  I did their casting call snaps, i'm doing their model books also.  They're also letting me have a show at their launch party, and want me to host creative photography workshops.   Feels awesome, but there's still that little niggly voice saying i don't deserve it, even though i know i've worked like a maniac.
I've been telling some friends, but my little victories are kinda squished by the fact that i found out one good friend does not take me seriously at all, just because i don't do mainstream stuff like weddings...and my family does not give a crap what i do.  It's my birthday on Thursday and i doubt they'll even call. :<  So kinda mixed feelings right now, i guess.  Trying to stay excited though

I'm excited for you!!!!!!!! You are awesome. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. And I missed you too. Try to stay out of the brig. Or at least get me involved so I can join ya.

You can do this. I know you can. It might be a bit scare-y, but I know you can do it. You do deserve it. So just keep that thought outta yer head.

Happy!!!!!!!!

I have a win. I got my prints today from THIS IMAGE and they came out fantastic!. Better than fantastic, actually. Jaw-droppingly awesome. Brent at Blue Cube Imaging is the best.

And now I find out Nolette's mom wants one also...but Nolette is going to give it to her as a surprise. So now I gotta order more. Or give up my copy, which ain't gonna happen.

iimagein wrote:
I
Thanks for the knowledge and kind words. I told someone I cared about, and she distanced herself away from me, she sugar coated it with positive statements, but basically said she wouldn't be there for me, and that she's not speaking to me for a few weeks...I feel betrayed, she made me feel like I did something wrong for telling her (she said we need time to work on ourselves, but I always feel like i'm working to improve myself). And her parents think we need "time apart" since they found out. I guess they're afraid of me, or think i'm strange...I guess they think finding that out puts her in danger. Her father told me she's not my therapist, but I never treated her as such, never asked her for advice, I just thought she'd be supportive when I told her. I need to find a place to go to for therapy.

This is one of the worst stigmas of mental disorders. And the most frustrating. Most people just don't understand and assume the worst. Please look at this post....

https://www.modelmayhem.com/po.php?thre … st11577724

And maybe pass the information on to whoever you think may need to see it. Keep your head up. You can beat this.

iimagein wrote:
Thanks, wow. I bookmarked the page, and will definitely show it to people who don't understand. Thanks to everyone who keeps fighting negativity, and embracing positivity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUaXFlAN … r_embedded
Check out this video and site if you'd like some help changing minds.
http://www.bringchange2mind.org/

Star Child wrote:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUaXFlAN … r_embedded
Check out this video and site if you'd like some help changing minds.
http://www.bringchange2mind.org/

Dude! Have I told you lately how awesome I think you are? Well, I'm tellin' ya.

Faith EnFire wrote:

Trust yourself, if you are feeling better and getting better rest and feeling less depressed, chances are that you are in fact doing better. Keep it simple and try not to overthink things. Just bring it up next time you see your doc.

I wish I could sleep into till 8

hehe ok thanks! I figured maybe i was just getting enough sleep finally. I will mention it to the dr when I go for a checkup. I was just I guess seeing if this is a common thing after finding the right medicine.. being fully rested?

Star Child wrote:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUaXFlAN … r_embedded
Check out this video and site if you'd like some help changing minds.
http://www.bringchange2mind.org/

Thanks once again (!). The site should definitely help me inform people.

JanaeAshley wrote:

hehe ok thanks! I figured maybe i was just getting enough sleep finally. I will mention it to the dr when I go for a checkup. I was just I guess seeing if this is a common thing after finding the right medicine.. being fully rested?

I would say it's a good thing, but I don't really know-not a doctor. Seems good. I never really found the right medicine

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

I'm excited for you!!!!!!!! You are awesome. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. And I missed you too. Try to stay out of the brig. Or at least get me involved so I can join ya.

You can do this. I know you can. It might be a bit scare-y, but I know you can do it. You do deserve it. So just keep that thought outta yer head.

Happy!!!!!!!!

I have a win. I got my prints today from THIS IMAGE and they came out fantastic!. Better than fantastic, actually. Jaw-droppingly awesome. Brent at Blue Cube Imaging is the best.

And now I find out Nolette's mom wants one also...but Nolette is going to give it to her as a surprise. So now I gotta order more. Or give up my copy, which ain't gonna happen.

Thanks dude.  That print is gorgeous!

Faith EnFire wrote:
having a bad day

Aww whats up darls?  I am too personally, let's bitch together lol

Faith EnFire wrote:
I just had someone hurt me really bad and they are trying to twist it like it was my fault
and I know it's not and it's just hurting more that they think that I'm wrong and I should be fine with what they did
And it's really hard not to be crying (at work) and we are not talking quiet weeping, ugly cry all the way.
And I just feel under stress with all that i've foisted upon myself
and i'm having some dark thoughts to go with the tears and it sucks in general

your turn

*BIGHUGZZZZZZZZ*

Your turn again.

Faith EnFire wrote:
I just had someone hurt me really bad and they are trying to twist it like it was my fault
and I know it's not and it's just hurting more that they think that I'm wrong and I should be fine with what they did
And it's really hard not to be crying (at work) and we are not talking quiet weeping, ugly cry all the way.
And I just feel under stress with all that i've foisted upon myself
and i'm having some dark thoughts to go with the tears and it sucks in general

your turn

Ugh, that sucks.  I had a good friend reveal that she didn't really think my photography work was seriously cos i basically don't do anything mainstream like weddings.  She just saw me as cheap work. I gave her discounts because i know she's short on cash!  She has a kid :<
And even with all this win at work...none of my family cares...to be taken seriously in my family you're supposed to lay back and pop one out as soon as you can (I do love kids, don't get me wrong, it's just not something i want NOW).  So despite my career getting better and better, 99% of my family are just acting like i'm playing around.  Well fuck, when i'm rich and famous guess who's not getting a Ferrari. lol
I have basically stopped talking to most of them.  Because all they do is go on about someone's baby.  My 16yr old cousin got pregnant and they tell me i should be having kids too! AAAAAAHHHH!!
And my birthday is Thursday.  All i want is to see my two best mates, which is the only thing that's NOT going to happen. bAh. (They live in Australia.  At least i can talk to one on Skype though.)

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

*BIGHUGZZZZZZZZ*

Your turn again.

Trust you to be a total sweetie while i'm typing my angsty rant haha

Photons 2 Pixels Images wrote:

*BIGHUGZZZZZZZZ*

Your turn again.

Miss Murder Photography wrote:
Ugh, that sucks.  I had a good friend reveal that she didn't really think my photography work was seriously cos i basically don't do anything mainstream like weddings.  She just saw me as cheap work. I gave her discounts because i know she's short on cash!  She has a kid :<
And even with all this win at work...none of my family cares...to be taken seriously in my family you're supposed to lay back and pop one out as soon as you can (I do love kids, don't get me wrong, it's just not something i want NOW).  So despite my career getting better and better, 99% of my family are just acting like i'm playing around.  Well fuck, when i'm rich and famous guess who's not getting a Ferrari. lol
I have basically stopped talking to most of them.  Because all they do is go on about someone's baby.  My 16yr old cousin got pregnant and they tell me i should be having kids too! AAAAAAHHHH!!
And my birthday is Thursday.  All i want is to see my two best mates, which is the only thing that's NOT going to happen. bAh. (They live in Australia.  At least i can talk to one on Skype though.)

oh big blech
[hug]

Faith EnFire wrote:

Oh man, fkin saved.