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Fetish Modeling and Possible Repercussions
I really want to start dabbling in fetish type concepts. Although I will most likely never be a nude model, I have an interest in bondage, ring gags, shibari, latex, and D/s themes. My question is based off the fact my daughters father who I share custody with is very judgemental. He has nothing to use against me and is bitter that he can't get our daughter full time because of that. Would fetish modeling be frowned upon by a judge if I ever had to have a custody battle? I don't think he would take me to court but if I ever decided I wanted full custody could this be something detrimental to the case? It appears nudity has become more accepted than fetish in the mainstream world. And according to Wikipedia a fetish is diagnosable as a paraphilia in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Am I reading way too far into this, or should I be cautious and hold off on that particular genre? Thanks Nov 29 12 11:47 am Link Alivia Autumn wrote: Ok, I think you may be reading way to much into it. Of course depending on the jurisdiction some judges may be more conservative than others, BUT legally they cannot find you to be an unfit parent because you've done fetish photography. Nov 29 12 12:38 pm Link As a bondage/fetish producer I have run into that on more than one occasion and it's something to be considered. There was a popular fetish model in the northwest who actually had to give up her bondage career because of issues with her ex and a custody case. I've had models with young kids forced to stop modeling by judgemental parents who threatened them so it's a slippery slope indeed and a fine line to walk if you have a spiteful ex. Good luck..... Nov 29 12 12:39 pm Link Alivia Autumn wrote: I'd say anything and everything can be used against you. The fetish world already has a negative connotation to many people, so can it be used, yes. Would a judge agree that it makes you "unfit?" Maybe, just depends on the judge. Nov 29 12 12:40 pm Link Naughty Ties wrote: Yup. I remember that situation. Nov 29 12 12:40 pm Link Damon Banner wrote: Damn shame too, she was a sweetie. Nov 29 12 12:51 pm Link Alivia Autumn wrote: Nov 29 12 01:00 pm Link I think they would be likely to hold nude modelling of any sort against you, depending on the judge and how conservative the court is in your area. It is really sad that many do not see the beauty of artistic poses. Doing fetish work would be even more likely to come back to you in a very negative way if someone on the other side of the case wanted to make an issue of it. Nov 29 12 02:00 pm Link I too have a judgemental ex. I worry about custody but not so much that it prevents me from making what I deem is art. I try to keep what I do private and as far as I know he is none the wiser. I don't use my real name(obviously). I have been modeling for over a year and do mainly nudes. I have done one shoot where the photographer used bondage tape. I found it tasteful. Whatever decision you make you need to be able to live with and make peace about it. Nov 29 12 03:25 pm Link Isis22 wrote: Yep yep.....good advice! Nov 29 12 03:30 pm Link What is more important to you, your child or fetish modeling? You stated yourself that your ex is just looking for reasons to take full custody of the child. If he is indeed that vindictive and determined, then assume that it WILL be held against you. I have no issue with fetish models or producers and I don't believe it has anything to do with the ability to raise a child in a stable and healthy environment. But not everyone sees it that way. Nov 29 12 03:33 pm Link Alivia Autumn wrote: You are correct to be concerned. I am a fetish photographer and shoot a wide variety of kink. It's a proverbial minefield of problems (which is why it's so much fun). You really should get proper legal advice for the state you reside in. Nov 29 12 04:01 pm Link Damon Banner wrote: +1 Nov 29 12 04:03 pm Link Damon Banner wrote: +1 Nov 29 12 04:06 pm Link I wouldn't risk it if I were you. Nov 29 12 04:11 pm Link Obviously you need to do whatever you feel is best for your daughter. All I can say is it would be a shame if you got discouraged from doing fetish. I think you would be an awesome fetish model and you could probably make a lot of money from it. Nov 29 12 04:14 pm Link If you have any doubts at all about it then don't. It is already having you worrying about whether it can be used against you, there will be more stress if it is brought up, not to mention the horror if the judge allows it to be used against you. Not worth it, even if the risk is small. Fetish modelling isn't age specific, you can do it in 5, 10, 20, 30 years when the custody thing isn't an issue. My opinion. Nov 29 12 06:28 pm Link Alivia Autumn wrote: Photos of you tied and gagged for "fun and or profit" would certainly be fodder for the other sides attorney. Especially if they fish them off a public site where they are open to the world. MOST people don't understand nude modeling or art photography and bondage and fetish are lower on that pole. Then of course there is how you kid will feel when, sometime in the future, they or one of their friends brings up those pics on their computer. Nov 29 12 06:42 pm Link Having just been dragged through the court system this year, and of course growing up in the family court system my entire childhood, this is something I'm pretty familiar with. Let me tell you right now, don't even consider it unless your husband has a criminal record a mile long, a diagnosed psychiatric illness or something that would make him 1000% unfit to be a parent on paper. Court can be a terrible awful unfair thing. Don't risk it. Nov 29 12 06:49 pm Link I'm in the camp of your child and that relationship is first and foremost the only thing that matters. You don't want to empower anyone to place a judgement regarding your parental rights/abilities. However, with that being said... if you had a photographer you could trust I'd bet you could do some things that could conceal identifying features/marks/scars/etc on your body and perhaps get some shots that you can work with. Good luck, and if you're ever in Colorado I'm a photographer you could trust! lol  Nov 29 12 08:31 pm Link If you are even remotely concerned that it could be used against you in regards to your child, Do Not Do Any Fetish work at all ! ! Most people are more predudice against fetish than they are against Porn ! KM Nov 29 12 08:44 pm Link Thanks all for your advice and opinons experiences etc. I have no problems with the lifestyle and enjoy some kink in the bedroom, but I am aware that it does have a negative connotation with the general public. Just didn't know if it was a relevent matter in the case of a potential custody battle. But those of you saying proceed with caution I agree. I'm young enough and my daughter is almost to the age where I can hold off for now and later it wouldn't be an issue. Nov 30 12 10:00 am Link I can't imagine that it wouldn't be used against you if the opportunity presented itself. I'm sure the opposing attorney would view it as a gift from the sky. Nov 30 12 10:02 am Link Alivia Autumn wrote: Good call, the fetish world awaits your arival when the time comes. Nov 30 12 07:59 pm Link Alivia Autumn wrote: Good Call, but beware of the last statement. Nov 30 12 08:35 pm Link Good point Dec 01 12 01:25 pm Link I don't have any children but I can say from much of the work I've done I've got some very mixed responses. I also met a woman who worked at a web cam studio that I worked at a few years ago. Her daughter was in her late teens and she explained to her daughter exactly what she does and her daughter thought it was cool and didn't have an issue with it. I think it can go either way... as far as the kids feelings about it. I think if they're an adult they may care less, then again one can never tell. I guess you have to weigh that out... perhaps when they're old enough you could talk to them about it... Either way I hope things work out for you Dec 03 12 07:48 pm Link I have a friend whose modeling was used against her in a custody battle. She did some art nudes while pregnant with her 2nd child. The opposing attorney did try to use her modeling to call her an unfit mother. Fortunately, she won the battle, but she's just one example. Any type of sexually oriented modeling *could* possibly damage your reputation and even job prospects in the future. It's just a sad fact. We live in an uptight society. I used to want to be a school teacher. Ain't gonna happen. One Google search and I'd be crucified by any school administration. Dec 03 12 08:22 pm Link I don't know if it is okay or not with judges... but is it worth finding out? We all make choices... and we all have to live with those choices... that is how it goes. Dec 04 12 08:39 am Link presumably the safest course would be to avoid anything that could possibly be used against you by the opposing attorney. but there's also something to be said for living your life and pursuing things that interest you. are you going to spend your whole life worrying that you might do something that your ex could use against you? might be kind of a boring life that way. kids are important but the adults have a right to a life as well. i've never understood the martyr thing where parents are supposed to be miserable so the kids can be happy. can't we all get some happiness? hopefully you can maintain a good relationship with the ex so he won't ever feel compelled to file for custody. Dec 04 12 09:28 am Link I'm a member of a kink community and being into BDSM or having a fetish is not longer considered a disorder in the DSM, unless it interferes in your day to day life. As in, it becomes an obsession that makes it difficult or impossible to interact properly at work, school, ectetera. In the older versions of the DSM it was considered a mental disorder reguardless but times and research have changed that. Fetish modeling is an honest living: you pay taxes and it's LEGAL. Dec 06 12 05:10 pm Link |
