Craziest Benny     wrote:
ok ill play

You are a solidly booked working shooter, and am mostly on MM to play with old friends......so I feel your testing rates should be closer to the top than they are, as you aren't really testing from this talent pool.

Jose Deida wrote:
I'm in.

The 3rd party bio, even as a joke, doesn't  really work. I'd remove it, list the genres you shoot, and the rates you charge for commercial work, and if there are any personal projects you test for.

all killer, no filler

In Balance Photography wrote:
Me too please!

Clean, crisp, no bullshit. WIN

Paige Morgan wrote:

Clean, crisp, no bullshit. WIN

Thanks Paige!

Drew Smith Photography wrote:
It will tell you that I'm EVIL! Mwuhahaha!

Actually, my love, it tells me that wordy artist's statements are a common MM problem.

This bit needs clean up:

Published Photographer that loves story-telling and creating images that glimpse other worlds. Often this involves creating digital art work through the image manipulation of my own photography. "

I like simple and spontaneous, but at others times enjoy epic location shoots using costumes, props & support crew! I'm always happy to hear from anybody wanting to do something unique or imaginative in any genre. "


Because while it's a fuckton of words, it's basically telling me you want to take pictures, can retouch them yourself,  and work with or without a team.


That's all very basic, and non specific when you chop through the verbose.


The rest of your profile is well played. Basic deets in place, sense of humor shown without any bogging down of the point, no big distracting images

Kholei Marceline wrote:
Please do, I need all the help I can get

Here you go! Try this:

Hey my name is Kholei Marceline, and I'm a brand new llama based in LA.


After walking LA fashion week, I'm addicted and am looking to expand my portfolio and gain experience. Open to all genres, from fashion to fitness to artistic nudes.

I am not seeking any erotic work.


I take my work seriously, and am open to constructive criticism...so if you have any ideas/pointers or want to shoot, let me know.

(and yes, I really AM 6'6" )

Dawn-Marie94 wrote:
me please 

Basically good, I'd just switch the order up a bit like this:

Hi,I'm Dawna-Marie,

I stay in shape, and I do not have any body piercings or tattoos.  I am outgoing and friendly, and get along with almost everyone.  I am dependable, and will always show up on time.  I am also respectful, and of course, I expect the same in return.

I am available for glamour, fashion, lifestyle, editorial, bikini, and most lingerie.  I will consider topless implied on a case-by-case basis, noting that the concept must provide a valuable contribution to the focus of my portfolio. 

I will consider a TF shoot when it appears the content and quality will benefit both of our portfolios.  Otherwise, please contact me for my rates and details, which will also include transportation costs.


I  AM NOT A FRIEND COLLECTOR. PLEASE DO NOT accept or send a friend request if you cannot see yourself entering into a creative partnership.


~insert polaroid of current hair~



~Dawn-Marie~

Paige Morgan wrote:

All in all, not bad. Relevant information is a bit buried under non specific adjectives, which is my main quibble.

Who DOESN'T want to work with creative and passionate people?

Who doesn't want to have a fun day on set?


It's so nonspecific it means very little.

Hmmm... thanks for the input.  I've gone back and tightened up the intro.  Appreciate the feedback!

_eMMe_ wrote:
I'll love to know your opinion (even if my english bio is completely different from the italian one, that I like a lot more).

You may like your Italian bio better, but your english bio is also a win.....clear, concise and to the point

MCB Imagery wrote:

Hmmm... thanks for the input.  I've gone back and tightened up the intro.  Appreciate the feedback!

Looks good! Rewrite trims the fat

Anouk Pross wrote:
Would love to know

While I appreciate that the top image has all of the relevant info in it....it takes a while to load, and not everyone will wait.

Steve Wall wrote:
Hey Paige! Me me me!

Your base profile is good, but you don't need 2 different links to your FB page 2 paragraphs apart. Perhaps some of those lovely, space efficient social media buttons some others have going on?

DivaEroticus wrote:
I've not asked anyone's opinion on my text, so I'm game. 

Normally I hate wordy profiles and quotes.

However, I think you are a better writer than most, and you give a very good impression of who you are, what you do, and your limits.

WIN!

Tiffany Katz wrote:
I'm interested!

The bio/history is too long.

You do selective TF, and write a whole lot about TF....but if you primarily shoot paid work, what are your packages/rates?

Cynthia Serrano  wrote:
haha curious

TOO many images between your profile and your credits. You actually have a good bit of relevant experience and a sizable reference list that's getting buried under contest badges and the like.

What genres are you looking to shoot when active? That should be closer to the top.

What do you consider viable TF?

If your hair color/style changes often, why not post a quick snap of your current look?

Modstudios wrote:
Hit me

Giant images at the top. Ugh. Travel dates buried at the bottom.

Additionally the text is wordy but tells me little.....I still don't know what genres your primarily work in, what your rates are, or what other forms of compensation you accept.

Everyone's concept of "art" is different......so that isn't helpful in and of itself

Jeneva Jones wrote:
Sure. Fire away

Congrats on the baby! Hope your pregnancy is progressing along happy and healthy!

I'd just switch up the order of your sections a bit, with the style you shoot, your rates, and requested shoot contact info closer to the top.

I'd also add a snapshot of your current hair color/style.

Bek Ruszin wrote:
Totally interested in what you think if you're still going by the time you get to me! 

Oh my darling booty twin......I knew you wouldn't disappoint me!


You also are made of WIN! No filler, nice and clear while still seeming friendly

Paige Morgan wrote:

Congrats on the baby! Hope your pregnancy is progressing along happy and healthy!

I'd just switch up the order of your sections a bit, with the style you shoot, your rates, and requested shoot contact info closer to the top.

I'd also add a snapshot of your current hair color/style.

Thank you. Pregnancy is going great so far

I'll definitely fix all that was mentioned as well

Billh wrote:
i'd like your opinion if you have time...

Your base text doesn't tell me your primary genres of interest or if you get paid, trade or hire models.....or some combination of all of the above.

It should.

R Michael Walker wrote:

Could I use a rewrite?

Again, I usually hate wordy profiles, but you are the second person in here where I am okay with it.


I get a clear sense of who you are, what you shoot, and for what compensation......with the added bonus of the images being in relevant, non distracting places.

Paige Morgan wrote:

You may like your Italian bio better, but your english bio is also a win.....clear, concise and to the point

Thanks, That is what matter.

Paige Morgan wrote:
Actually, my love, it tells me that wordy artist's statements are a common MM problem.

This bit needs clean up:

Published Photographer that loves story-telling and creating images that glimpse other worlds. Often this involves creating digital art work through the image manipulation of my own photography. "

I like simple and spontaneous, but at others times enjoy epic location shoots using costumes, props & support crew! I'm always happy to hear from anybody wanting to do something unique or imaginative in any genre. "


Because while it's a fuckton of words, it's basically telling me you want to take pictures, can retouch them yourself,  and work with or without a team.


That's all very basic, and non specific when you chop through the verbose.


The rest of your profile is well played. Basic deets in place, sense of humor shown without any bogging down of the point, no big distracting images

Thank you Paige - I shall reconsider my profile's 'arty' verbosity.

Paige Morgan wrote:

Normally I hate wordy profiles and quotes.

However, I think you are a better writer than most, and you give a very good impression of who you are, what you do, and your limits.

WIN!

This is most appreciated, Paige, thank you.