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Dealing with stiffness, and nerves.
Hello everyone, thanks for taking time to read this thread. I am dealing through an abusive relationship, and it has nothing to do with me modeling, just his alcoholism and my bratty attiude never mixed well. Sometimes I find it hard to be comfortable in front of strangers. I (especially in lingerie) feel very stiff and nervous in front of a photographer who is a stranger to me. I suspect there is not much advice to be given, but if you have any, it is much appreciated, because I honestly feel like I was destined to become a fashion model. I have the body and face for it, and my mother is a very talented seamstress, and she's invested so much for me to become a model. any ideas and $0.02 is valued appreciated. thanks! Jan 31 13 11:13 pm Link rachel nicole wrote: I don't do anything that makes me feel uncomfortable. It WILL show. If it's making you that uncomfortable, are you sure you want to do it? Jan 31 13 11:44 pm Link it's partly the photographer's job to get a good performance out of the model. maybe your photographers aren't doing their part or you need to find photographers you are comfortable with or you just need to have them crank up the music! i exhaust myself trying to entertain my models in order to get some good looks from them. i have customers who say they've never taken a decent picture and then we have a blast shooting and i give them lots of shots and they have a tough time choosing just 10. photography is about getting a good performance from your model. or maybe lingerie is just past your comfort zone. it happens. nothing to be ashamed of. some people drink before or during the shoots but i'm not really a fan of that myself. Jan 31 13 11:48 pm Link rachel nicole wrote: You need to honestly evaluate your true motives for modelling. Feb 01 13 03:14 am Link Saedcantas wrote: This. Feb 01 13 03:25 am Link A lot to do with my strict Catholic upbringing, along with the fact that I am new to wearing "sexy" clothes.  I always wanted to model, it was my dream, but I had a very serious surgery on my spine in High school, so I thought I had no chance!! Visiting this website restored my hope in becoming a model. I may try to have one drink before a shoot next time. Thank you for the ADVICE. Feb 01 13 03:30 am Link Saedcantas wrote: Her passion for sewing, alterations, and perfectionism has influenced me heavily. I have the proportions to be a top model, and I fell in love with fashion when I was very young. Feb 01 13 03:41 am Link It is perfectly normal to feel a bit * stripped, in front of a camera, and a stranger behind it. It may be even stranger, but I'll say that as much as you might think older photographers, male, and straight, if they are any good*, will have a better grasp on how to make you feel better about doing photos that are on the edge of your comfort zone. A good photographer wants to know how you feel that day, that moment. Really feel, not the how are you, I'm fine kinda response. Perhaps shoot lingerie with a female photographer. There are a lot here on MM. Furthermore, you are not obliged to do lingerie if you don't want just say no. When you want you'll know more about the type of the photographers that will do the above. Feb 01 13 03:57 am Link rachel nicole wrote: I think the abusive relationship should be of more importance than how you feel on photo shoots. Alcohol and violence; not a good combination. Maybe if those issues were taken care of, other areas of your life very well may improve ie. llamaing. Feb 01 13 04:00 am Link rachel nicole wrote: Please make sure your goals are truly YOUR goals, and not your mother's goals. Feb 01 13 06:06 am Link From reading this tread and your profile, I'm not sure that modeling is for you. You've got the figure and look for it and look well in your port but your attitude needs to be right also. You say that you're clumsy and confused in strange places and that you are nervous working with strangers. Then you want to be in a job where you'll be working with strangers, in strange and unusual places, having to do things that are new to you and hold poses, that are sometimes difficult. Working on a fashion show, you'll have to strip in a dressing room with a small crowd in it, strangers and some of them men. If you're uncomfortable posing in lingerie in front of one stranger, how will you feel going down a ramp in front of perhaps hundreds, wearing a revealing outfit or lingerie? Feb 01 13 06:23 am Link You are FAR to young and talented to be putting up with an abusive relationship, especially with an alcoholic. And, it won't get any better, only worse until he hurts you. Realize your self worth and potential and move on. I looked at your portfolio and you are a beautiful young woman with tons of potential. Don't waster your youth on someone that does not deserve you. Feb 01 13 06:38 am Link rachel nicole wrote: Life is simple. Feb 01 13 07:03 am Link I hate to be the one to point out the elephant in the room, but being stiff in front of the camera and strange people is hardly your biggest problem. Not that you asked for advice on it, but the first step to helping you with how you feel about working with strangers will be getting out of your abusive relationship. If you don't feel safe, secure and happy in your own home/relationship, you will not be able to with other people. That's just the psychology of abusive relationships. It is affecting your world. I can attest to that, I was in an abusive marriage once and nothing made me happy, I became a shut in and my trust issues, can't even begin to explain how those were. It obviously affects you otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it to begin with  I hope, for your sake that you will eventually realize that you are worth much more, and deserve better. No one should feel like that have to stay in an abusive relationship, no matter the reason. Feb 01 13 07:09 am Link Jojo West wrote: +100 Feb 01 13 07:16 am Link I recall when I first had to cold call clients. I was stiff and nervous, but after hundreds of times it must have worn off Relationships aside you will get comfortable with practice. It doesn't have to be all photo shoot practice mind you, but practice meeting strangers for the first time. Consider looking for ways to get yourself out there with new people in general. Feb 01 13 07:25 am Link Learn to take direction. A course in acting should help. Feb 01 13 07:25 am Link There are some things that a photographer can do to help a model relax. Before a shoot, I go over what we’re trying to accomplish – the goals of the shoot, the looks we’re trying to achieve, etc. I tell the model how to interpret some of the brief things I might say during the shoot, i.e., when I say this I want you to do that. I point out which light is the main light – and how that impacts how much freedom the model has to move, turn, etc. And during the shoot, I give the model feedback - and let her know when she’s on the right track. Once upon a time, when a photographer realized that the model needed to relax, he would shoot with no film in the camera at first. While this didn’t particularly help the model relax, at least it allowed the model to warm up and do poses without the expense of film. Now sometimes I’ll do extra preliminary photos (“lighting and exposure tests”) to give the model some time in front of the camera without pressure at the beginning of a shoot. One thing I do at the beginning of any shoot where the model seems a little nervous or uptight is to have her exercise and loosen up her facial muscles, i.e., spend a few minutes making faces at me. Athletes do stretching exercises before a game. Singers and public speakers exercise their vocal chords. Musicians tune their instruments and play a few riffs before a concert. I shoot each face, then go through the photos with the model. More often than not, looking at the photos brings laughter that helps the model relax. And the exercise does indeed help to relax the facial muscles. This can be helpful, because tension and apprehension often show up in the face – particularly in awkward positions and shapes of the mouth and lips. At any shoot the first few minutes are basically a warmup for the model and the photographer anyway. I've never heard of a photographer (other than Horst P. Horst) who could shoot 1-2 photos of a model, say "That's a wrap" and walk out of the studio. So the photographer can keep those first few minutes unstructured and let the model do her thing - or give her a prop to work with. Another thing a photographer can do is to be conversational. Having a conversation and making small talk during a shoot is always better than dead silence. Have you been to St. Louis before? (Or how long have you lived here?) Did you have any trouble finding the studio? I hope you didn't have a problem finding a parking space; the Rams are playing today. Just help yourself to the cookies (or the grapes and crackers, etc.). Is it warm enough in here? Being conversational is also something the model can do that might help her to relax. I think it also helps to tell the model what I'm doing and why – and to show the model the photos on the LCD screen – particularly the better ones where the model appears more relaxed. Seeing what we're getting on the CF card often helps to relax and reassure the model. I’ll defer to the models for models’ tricks of the trade for relaxing, after one more observation. I think it would be helpful for the model to understand the source(s) of her nervousness or apprehension. Understanding a problem tends to make it easier to deal with it. Is it because of something that occurred at a previous shoot? Did the previous shoot produce poor quality photos, because of the photographer’s level of ability (even though the model may have given good poses and expressions? Might it be that the photographer hasn’t clearly explained the goals of the shoot – so the model doesn’t know what is expected? Could it be that the photographer doesn’t give the model feedback during the shoot – so that she doesn’t know how she’s doing? Is it because someone has made discouraging remarks about her modeling? Is it because the model is not comfortable with the level of her posing or expressive abilities? Is it a self-worth issue, i.e., does the model doubt that she deserves to be successful? Thinking back over past shoots might suggest a pattern that indicates what it is that causes nervousness or apprehension, which in turn might suggest ways of dealing with it. Feb 01 13 07:29 am Link rachel nicole wrote: Drop the bratty attitude, stop drinking before a shoot and get over being uncomfortable in front of others no matter the styling or lack of it.. Feb 01 13 07:54 am Link When I'm considering working with a new-to-me llama, I insist on meeting with her first to discuss ideas. We meet at a Starbucks or other neutral public place and spend a good hour getting to know each other a little. I feel like this helps them see that I'm a pretty mushy guy who is genuinely interested in making beautiful images of them. During the shoot, I talk to them, ask about their comfort, etc. And I tell corny jokes. Feb 01 13 08:29 am Link in other words you're hoping they don't ever move back in? lol i read something funny the other day that said "be nice to your son-in-law because he will be the one choosing your nursing home" we don't have any kids so i guess we'll have to choose our own. In Balance Photography wrote: Feb 01 13 08:35 am Link in our town the boudoir shops advertise "FEMALE STAFF ONLY". the implication being the customer will feel safer and more comfortable. plus that usually means they have in-house MUA. i'm on zivity and some of the lady photographers on there are amazing (some are also models) i think this may be a good suggestion for the OP. Neil Snape wrote: Feb 01 13 08:38 am Link my best models have been like actresses. maybe dress a part and then try to act it out. so that you're not trying to be yourself, you're trying to be this other person. have you heard of lana del rey? check out some of her videos. i think the stuff she does is really cool and sexy without being crazy raunchy or anything. and try to find a photographer where you have fun doing the shoots. that will show in the pictures. today we're doing a violence against women combined with trailer park trash shoot with a model. we're doing beer can curlers. lol. i mean unless you're doing it for a living this stuff is supposed to be FUN! it's like play-time for grownups. rachel nicole wrote: Feb 01 13 08:42 am Link regarding an alcoholic my suggestion based on personal experience is run away. far away. no matter how much you love them or how co-dependent you are they are toxic and will drag you down with them. it's really sad but i think that problem goes way deeper than anyone can fix (although some manage to get by on sheer determination). even in a relationship you aren't responsible for living the other person's life for them. Feb 01 13 08:44 am Link First thing you need to do is DUMP the son of a bitch that's abusing you ... Life is just too short to put up with that BULL SHIT!! ... then avoid future 'repeats' of living in that situation! The nerves involved with posing in Lingerie will fade in time, if not midway through your first Lingerie shoot! (Face it, you're ALMOST nekked, for Christ's sake) ;-P ... Some people just can't find it in themselves to do it, where others take to it like a duck to water ... Just stick with what ever aspect of modeling interests you, as long as it is what YOU want to do ... otherwise, you're just wasting everyones time! GOOD LUCK TO YOU!! :-) Feb 01 13 09:23 am Link our paying customers are often super nervous. but we put some music on and usually after about 15 minutes they relax and we have trouble getting them out of the studio! but every once in a while we get someone who just isn't comfortable and we try our best. sometimes that means just doing glamorous headshots. Smitty s Photography wrote: Feb 01 13 09:27 am Link You will get more comfortable as you spend more time in front of the camera. My first shoot I was a nervous wreck. The photographer kept pushing me to be sexy, which made me uncomfortable. I thought I'd hate modeling forever. But, as I worked with pleasant, respectful people, I loosened up and started to really like being in front of the camera. Oddly enough, I feel awkward posing in clothing. I just don't know what to do with my body. You might want to take an acting class. It will help you get more comfortable in front of the camera and practicing expressions. Feb 01 13 10:08 am Link rachel nicole wrote: First thing is to recommend you not shoot in lingerie in front of strangers if it doesn't make you happy. Jojo West wrote: This above is huge... HUGE... Feb 01 13 10:12 am Link rachel nicole wrote: A bratty attitude is not an excuse for alcoholism driven abuse . . . nothing is ! Feb 01 13 10:20 am Link Ken Marcus Studios wrote: This will probably also help relieve much of the stress which might be contributing to your "stiffness and nerves". Feb 01 13 11:49 am Link first, get out of the relationship. maybe get some counseling/therapy. as for modeling in lingerie: when you are alone in your house/room, do your normal everyday stuff while naked and wearing lingerie for a period of time. this should help. Feb 02 13 02:02 am Link rachel nicole wrote: NO. That is stupid. WTF over. Feb 02 13 02:22 am Link Don't do lingerie right now if you're not comfortable with it. Have you submitted snapshots to agencies? That's where model hopefuls should start, especially if they have runway stats. Feb 03 13 03:53 am Link Neil Snape wrote: +100 Feb 03 13 09:07 am Link rachel nicole wrote: Your mother loves you and you both dream of the same thing. Be it. Forget your post. Fade it from your mind as it has nothing to do with being the actualization of your dream. Spend hours everyday developing your eye by looking at fashion images. Practice your walk, poses and expressions in the mirror. Head into these shoots with a clear goal: getting a certain look, pose and expressions for your portfolio. Feb 03 13 09:38 am Link Tell him sober up or good bye. Go to Al-Anon meetings either way. Go on with your life. Feb 03 13 11:22 am Link rachel nicole wrote: As a photographer who has done nudes/lingerie maybe i can throw out a suggestion-- meet with the photographer prior to any shoots, so s/he is not such a complete stranger. I often did this with models, besides exchanging emails. But meet for coffee, look over and discuss posing ideas (I for one appreciate ideas from models, I look at a session as a team creative effort)-- especially these days with tablets and wifi, easy to look at ideas for poses, compositions. Ask for the photographer's ID and do a background check (there are often free sites for that) to feel safer about the photog, and s/he might want to do the same (I was surprised once to find a gal who wanted her bf to come to my house and I did a bg check and holy sheeet I found out he had multiple felonies for theft and stolen goods, so I dropped her and her bf fast, i sure did not need someone drooling over my camera gear to come steal some night and all). Feb 03 13 11:35 am Link Firstly, what everyone said about the relationship. Get out now. Secondly, would it be possible to find a way to approach modeling from a different angle? If you could work as a fit model, that would still be using your body's gifts, but it might feel different to work with the same people in the same setting every day. Feb 03 13 08:06 pm Link Oh, and special thanks to Camerosity for your post! I'd been doing a lot of that, but not the crucial face making! That's exactly the kind of advice I came here looking for. Feb 03 13 08:09 pm Link Saedcantas wrote: I totally disagree on this. EVERYONE, including me, including you, literally everyone felt stiff the first times they stood in front of a camera. That part is something you need to learn and it will come by time, the more you shoot the easier it will get. Feb 03 13 11:05 pm Link |
