Photographer
F R A I M
Posts: 4733
Prescott Valley, Arizona, US
Great thread DV... love the positivity of it and the encouragement you are trying to give those that are being suckered into believing that there is something when with them.
Morals are totally subjective, and it is a very rare person that is able to preach and actually walk the road of righteousness. Most of us end up being hypocritical and are not not able to live up to the moral judgements we impose on those around us. Which is why I try my best not to judge people for decisions they choose to make in their lifes, knowing I have made tons of bad ones in mine. If I can't support someone on their choices doesn't give me the right to belittle them for them.
As for my story coming from the other side it is quite amusing. I grew up in a city and a family that revolves around film, shooting landscapes/cityscapes/still-life, that is what I would do to get some serenity in my life.
I ended up dating and getting engaged to a girl, who wanted to persue modeling as a hobby and way to get some extra money. I was all for it, figured it would help teach her about how feel about photography and how deep of a hold it has on my soul. I had never worked with models, didn't have strobes, was still shooting film so I encouraged her to go shoot with some photographers and start building a portfolio. I knew her only chance of making money out of the situation was in the glam market, and had no problems or concerns with her working in that genre.
She went out and did a few shoots, when I saw the images I was disappointed, not in anything she had done but with the quality of the images. Being that I had grown up with a camera in my hand (one of the joys of being in a 3 generation Kodak family) I figured with the right equipment and hard work learning how to work with directing models that I would be able to produce better images to better sell look.
So I invested in digital equipment, some cheap strobes and started practicing on her and her friends. I think I progressed pretty quickly seeing as I did have a background of photography to begin with. From day one we both agreed my shots were better then any she had gotten from the shoots.
My shoots drew the attention of other photgraphers who had wonderful portfolios and she started shooting with better photographers getting better images back. Which inspired me to keep pushing myself and my limits constantly refining my style. I also started to attract attention from other girls looking to get into modeling which I thought was great and allowed me to work with a wider range of people and get more experience working with models. My work kept improving and being seen by more and more people.
I would still shoot my fiancee all the time as well, which in turn got her more and more offers to shoot.
Never once did I have a problem with her shooting glam, implied or nude with other photographers. In fact I was quite encouraging knowing that this is something she really enjoyed.
Well trying to make what is looking like a long story shorter, eventually she had a problem with me shooting other models implied and nude. Started accusing me of cheating on her which wasn't the case (to this day she is still the only person who has ever modeled for me that I have slept with).
All the support that I had originally gotten from her when it was only benefitting her evaporated. Suddenly I was suppose to give up photography while she was going to keep modeling. Not to mention the fact she had talked me into giving up my job to focus on my art and get my business off the ground.
Needless to say the relationship became very strained... finally I told her to hit the bricks, and I have loved every minute of my life since.
As a foot-note I still get random emails from her accusing me of sleeping with all the models which I find amusing seeing as I don't contact her in any way. So I just let her have her delusions and keep on grindin.
Model
Iona Lynn
Posts: 11176
Oakland, California, US
Brian Baybo wrote:
There was only one person debating who seems to have finally vanished. Where were you yesterday on this one?
https://www.modelmayhem.com/po.php?thread_id=282184 I was in Vegas with my family.. some whom I have not seen in over 2 years.
A life I has it...
Model
Dances with Wolves
Posts: 25108
SHAWNEE ON DELAWARE, Pennsylvania, US
Shaken Ikon Imaging wrote:
Needless to say the relationship became very strained... finally I told her to hit the bricks, and I have loved every minute of my life since. Good for you! I know how you feel!
Model
Yo Mama
Posts: 110
Oakland, California, US
Photographer
cute--nation
Posts: 654
Los Angeles, California, US
only half? we all need it, the ones who know it and show it are the best models. and photographers.
Model
Dances with Wolves
Posts: 25108
SHAWNEE ON DELAWARE, Pennsylvania, US
Christopher Ferrouge wrote:
Always let your conscience be your guide :-)
...they are kinda raunchy. Maybe try taking some that you truly are proud of, nudity or not. You're gorgeous...don't sell yourself short.
....as for the actual topic; If you're married, you're one. So its understandable that if he doesn't like it, its going to fester. You're apparently not one to care, so why make the forum? Your "turning the tables" technique sounds like manipulation to me, though it does suck that you're in that situation.
As a photographer, I've noticed that half the girls posing nude are trying to heal from something...
Christopher Who are you talking to?
And it's not manipulation. It's being strong and standing up for yourself. Sorry you fail to see it that way.
Model
MelissaLynnette LaDiva
Posts: 50816
Leawood, Kansas, US
Christopher Ferrouge wrote:
As a photographer, I've noticed that half the girls posing nude are trying to heal from something...
Christopher Yeah. Heal from the bullshit that most people have tried to press on chicks their entire lives. Think they call male models whores/sluts/strippers/damaged/trying to heal when they pose nude? Yeah, no.
Model
Chyna N
Posts: 1292
Houston, Texas, US
wow...good point. Thanks for the advice. I was struggling with this for a while.
Photographer
Jerry Nemeth
Posts: 33355
Dearborn, Michigan, US
MelissaLynnette LaDiva wrote:
Yeah. Heal from the bullshit that most people have tried to press on chicks their entire lives. Think they call male models whores/sluts/strippers/damaged/trying to heal when they pose nude? Yeah, no. 
Photographer
Fotographia Fantastique
Posts: 17339
White River Junction, Vermont, US
Daniela Victoria wrote:
Nude modeling.
Glamour modeling.
Art modeling.
Showing any skin whatsoever....
Countless threads on "my family/boyfriend/husband/girlfriend doesn't approve and it hurts...what do I do?"
Has anyone ever thought to say to that person or those people that it's THEM disappointing YOU and not the other way around?
Why is it that people in our lives feel that it's simply perfect for them to tell us how we should conduct our modeling (i.e. nudes and not doing nudes) and it's not OK for us to be upset with them? Why do THEY get to be upset with US but we don't get to be upset and disappointed at how close minded they are?
Folks- if there is a person in your life, or people that say they can't handle your modeling (Esp. for you nude models out there) then express to them that you are hurt by that and move on. )Put it on them. Don't sit there and say "how do I handle this because my so-and-so doesn't approve", but instead say to that so-and-so that YOU don't approve of THEIR negativity toward modeling nude or just modeling in general.
I'm disappointed in those that are close to models and don't support them. I think it's bullshit. I think it's the models that should be upset and not their family or friends or significant others.
I'm just tired of these threads.
You don't approve of my modeling? I don't approve of you.
It's YOU disappointing ME.
Try that next time someone gives you crap. That doesn't work? Walk away.
/rant. Thank you.
I'm surprised I never saw anyone say this before.
Photographer
-Freckles-
Posts: 1014
Columbus, Ohio, US
Daniela Victoria wrote:
Nude modeling.
Glamour modeling.
Art modeling.
Showing any skin whatsoever....
Countless threads on "my family/boyfriend/husband/girlfriend doesn't approve and it hurts...what do I do?"
Has anyone ever thought to say to that person or those people that it's THEM disappointing YOU and not the other way around?
Why is it that people in our lives feel that it's simply perfect for them to tell us how we should conduct our modeling (i.e. nudes and not doing nudes) and it's not OK for us to be upset with them? Why do THEY get to be upset with US but we don't get to be upset and disappointed at how close minded they are?
Folks- if there is a person in your life, or people that say they can't handle your modeling (Esp. for you nude models out there) then express to them that you are hurt by that and move on. )Put it on them. Don't sit there and say "how do I handle this because my so-and-so doesn't approve", but instead say to that so-and-so that YOU don't approve of THEIR negativity toward modeling nude or just modeling in general.
I'm disappointed in those that are close to models and don't support them. I think it's bullshit. I think it's the models that should be upset and not their family or friends or significant others.
I'm just tired of these threads.
You don't approve of my modeling? I don't approve of you.
It's YOU disappointing ME.
Try that next time someone gives you crap. That doesn't work? Walk away.
/rant. *applauds*
Thank you. I can't imagine how many models out there may really need to see something like this...
awesome thread
Model
Kerosene Krueger
Posts: 1192
Boston, Massachusetts, US
MelissaLynnette LaDiva wrote:
![https://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j59/sionprincess/Smileys%20etc/applause.gif]() first lady on the left... is that alice from the brady bunch??
Photographer
TigerButler Photography
Posts: 105
Greensboro, North Carolina, US
Stops in the middle of nude shoot, puts down camera and clapps. : )
TvP
Photographer
J C ModeFotografie
Posts: 14718
Los Angeles, California, US
Christopher Ferrouge wrote:
Always let your conscience be your guide :-)
...they are kinda raunchy. Maybe try taking some that you truly are proud of, nudity or not. You're gorgeous...don't sell yourself short.
....as for the actual topic; If you're married, you're one. So its understandable that if he doesn't like it, its going to fester. You're apparently not one to care, so why make the forum? Your "turning the tables" technique sounds like manipulation to me, though it does suck that you're in that situation.
As a photographer, I've noticed that half the girls posing nude are trying to heal from something...
Christopher Daniela Victoria wrote:
Who are you talking to?
And it's not manipulation. It's being strong and standing up for yourself. Sorry you fail to see it that way. He must be living in an . . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsfVw9xxoNY
Model
Less on Jess
Posts: 4
Dallas, Georgia, US
I'm so struggling with this right now. I read the whole thread in a sitting. Thanks. Sniffle.
Model
Bon voyage MM
Posts: 9508
Honolulu, Hawaii, US
Darla De Luna wrote:
first lady on the left... is that alice from the brady bunch?? Lol I have seen that thing millions of times and never noticed it...it looks just like her!
Model
Chicago Model
Posts: 809
Chicago, Illinois, US
I love this thread. I'm so glad it's still alive.
Model
Profile Closed
Posts: 842
Las Vegas, Nevada, US
Daniela Victoria wrote:
Nude modeling.
Glamour modeling.
Art modeling.
Showing any skin whatsoever....
Countless threads on "my family/boyfriend/husband/girlfriend doesn't approve and it hurts...what do I do?"
Has anyone ever thought to say to that person or those people that it's THEM disappointing YOU and not the other way around?
Why is it that people in our lives feel that it's simply perfect for them to tell us how we should conduct our modeling (i.e. nudes and not doing nudes) and it's not OK for us to be upset with them? Why do THEY get to be upset with US but we don't get to be upset and disappointed at how close minded they are?
Folks- if there is a person in your life, or people that say they can't handle your modeling (Esp. for you nude models out there) then express to them that you are hurt by that and move on. )Put it on them. Don't sit there and say "how do I handle this because my so-and-so doesn't approve", but instead say to that so-and-so that YOU don't approve of THEIR negativity toward modeling nude or just modeling in general.
I'm disappointed in those that are close to models and don't support them. I think it's bullshit. I think it's the models that should be upset and not their family or friends or significant others.
I'm just tired of these threads.
You don't approve of my modeling? I don't approve of you.
It's YOU disappointing ME.
Try that next time someone gives you crap. That doesn't work? Walk away.
/rant. *applaud*
My family does NOT support my modeling at all. I was happy to read this. My parents are religious fanatics, so I don't even tell them. It's a good point you made, I will remember that
Model
Chicago Model
Posts: 809
Chicago, Illinois, US
J
As a photographer, I've noticed that half the girls posing nude are trying to heal from something...[/quote wrote:
are you kidding me? Right, I'm sure these models are just letting all their skeletons out of their closet during your shoot/therapy session.
Model
Dara_w
Posts: 12100
Atlanta, Georgia, US
Charlene M wrote:
*applaud*
My family does NOT support my modeling at all. I was happy to read this. My parents are religious fanatics, so I don't even tell them. It's a good point you made, I will remember that i'd tell them if i were you. bfore you go to visit one day and they are crying and sprinkling holy water over a photo they printed out from the net.
Model
Stephy C
Posts: 6337
Los Angeles, California, US
Darla De Luna wrote:
first lady on the left... is that alice from the brady bunch?? It just might be her!![https://smilies.vidahost.com/contrib/sally/lol.gif]()
And I think I love you Daniela! Very well said (or ranted, lol) and I agree 100%. I might have to show it to my nonsupporting and overly worried mother ![https://smilies.vidahost.com/contrib/corky/smilies18.gif]()
Model
MelissaLynnette LaDiva
Posts: 50816
Leawood, Kansas, US
Dara_w wrote:
i'd tell them if i were you. bfore you go to visit one day and they are crying and sprinkling holy water over a photo they printed out from the net. Word.
Every potentially scandalous thing I've ever done in my adult life, I made sure to call my mother first and warn her.
Tattoo? Called her.
Music video? Called her on set.
Posed nude? Called her, then emailed it to her.
Keeps things open and easy.
Model
Stephy C
Posts: 6337
Los Angeles, California, US
Dara_w wrote:
i'd tell them if i were you. bfore you go to visit one day and they are crying and sprinkling holy water over a photo they printed out from the net. ![https://smilies.vidahost.com/contrib/ed/laughpf.gif]()
Photographer
FusionMediaCo
Posts: 537
Miami, Florida, US
Daniela, its nice to know where your priorities in life are. I hope they are the same in 15 years, and I hope your family and friends will forgive how you told them all to go fuck.
Photographer
Radio London
Posts: 871
Rochester, Michigan, US
Model
Kristen Jeanne
Posts: 5770
Pinardville, New Hampshire, US
FusionMediaCo wrote:
Daniela, its nice to know where your priorities in life are. I hope they are the same in 15 years, and I hope your family and friends will forgive how you told them all to go fuck. *Sigh.* She doesn't literally mean to tell them go fuck themselves. She's saying that people that supposedly love you should be able to support you no matter what.
Model
MelissaLynnette LaDiva
Posts: 50816
Leawood, Kansas, US
FusionMediaCo wrote:
Daniela, its nice to know where your priorities in life are. I hope they are the same in 15 years, and I hope your family and friends will forgive how you told them all to go fuck. I hope in 15 years she's found people to replace the jerks she had been dealing with.
Photographer
FusionMediaCo
Posts: 537
Miami, Florida, US
love and support are not directly linked
because they love you they hurt when you do things which seem wrong in their opinions
so they do not share the same opinion
they gave you life, cut them some slack and be more tolerant of your blood
Model
MelissaLynnette LaDiva
Posts: 50816
Leawood, Kansas, US
FusionMediaCo wrote:
love and support are not directly linked
because they love you they hurt when you do things which seem wrong in their opinions
so they do not share the same opinion
they gave you life, cut them some slack and be more tolerant of your blood I don't care how much someone claims to love me.
Accusing someone of being a whore or telling them they do porn when they do not is unacceptable from anyone I allow in my life.
Model
Kristen Jeanne
Posts: 5770
Pinardville, New Hampshire, US
FusionMediaCo wrote:
love and support are not directly linked True.
FusionMediaCo wrote:
because they love you they hurt when you do things which seem wrong in their opinions Right, but shouldn't a person try to explain to their loved one(s) that they're doing something that they love doing (or get paid to do, whatever)? And shouldn't that loved one come to realize that they're hindering said person and may be hurting them by not supporting them?
FusionMediaCo wrote:
so they do not share the same opinion Not necessarily, but maybe they could come to a common understanding.
I don't know if what I just said makes sense, I know I kind of rambled.
Model
Kayla Savina
Posts: 488
Spokane, Missouri, US
FusionMediaCo wrote:
love and support are not directly linked
because they love you they hurt when you do things which seem wrong in their opinions
so they do not share the same opinion
they gave you life, cut them some slack and be more tolerant of your blood Christ.
If my mom decided that she was going to start appearing in DVDs with titles like "Skanky Ass MILFS," and "Hot To Trot Housewives," I would strongly dislike it, however, I would certainly support her decision. It's her life and her body. She can do whatever the fuck she likes with it, and show as much goddamned skin as she likes, and I will still support her choices.
So why should I not be allowed to ask the same of her?
Model
Stephy C
Posts: 6337
Los Angeles, California, US
FusionMediaCo wrote:
love and support are not directly linked
because they love you they hurt when you do things which seem wrong in their opinions
so they do not share the same opinion
they gave you life, cut them some slack and be more tolerant of your blood 
Photographer
FusionMediaCo
Posts: 537
Miami, Florida, US
Dont have to like it, just realize the different beliefs of their generation and be tolerant.
You dont have to do anything different, but you can be tolerant, and respectful of your family and loved ones.
Its not an easy road regardless, but you know what, in 15 years nobody is going to care and you wont have a lot of people drooling over your hotness.
I just say, do what you want to do, respect and tolerate those that you must, and live a fullfilled life today with some regard for the future and those around you.
Its all about balance, choosing your battles, being a good human being.
Sometimes killing people with kindness is the strongest weapon in your arsenal. Making a bad decision after percieved bad decision is not helping your cause.
I think you must realize inside that this is a career choice for less than .5% of the population, and that it is not widely accepted even now in 2008, so just be a little more tolerant and well rounded.
Model
Kayla Savina
Posts: 488
Spokane, Missouri, US
FusionMediaCo wrote:
Dont have to like it, just realize the different beliefs of their generation and be tolerant.
You dont have to do anything different, but you can be tolerant, and respectful of your family and loved ones.
Its not an easy road regardless, but you know what, in 15 years nobody is going to care and you wont have a lot of people drooling over your hotness.
I just say, do what you want to do, respect and tolerate those that you must, and live a fullfilled life today with some regard for the future and those around you.
Its all about balance, choosing your battles, being a good human being.
Sometimes killing people with kindness is the strongest weapon in your arsenal. Making a bad decision after percieved bad decision is not helping your cause.
I think you must realize inside that this is a career choice for less than .5% of the population, and that it is not widely accepted even now in 2008, so just be a little more tolerant and well rounded. No one is saying to be disrespectful to your family.
The point is, if those who are supposed to love you unconditionally are continuously giving you grief over choices that you make (which hurt no one), then you are under no obligation to keep them as prominent figures in your life.
If for some reason, your job choice was looked down upon by your loved ones, and the repeatedly criticized you harshly, called you names, etc, all of which "loved ones" are not supposed to do, then why should you show them extra consideration? Why should you bow to their demands?
Photographer
FusionMediaCo
Posts: 537
Miami, Florida, US
Kayla,
I am not saying bow to their demands, merely realize they dont see things the same way, rise above their contempt, and go on with your life while still showing them respect and love in return. I mean this to your family, and lifelong friends, and prominent people as you say. If your new friends, or boyfriends cannot cope, then they or you can move on. Not everyone in life is disposable or replaceable.
Model
Kayla Savina
Posts: 488
Spokane, Missouri, US
FusionMediaCo wrote:
Kayla,
I am not saying bow to their demands, merely realize they dont see things the same way, rise above their contempt, and go on with your life while still showing them respect and love in return. I mean this to your family, and lifelong friends, and prominent people as you say. If your new friends, or boyfriends cannot cope, then they or you can move on. Not everyone in life is disposable or replaceable. And if the 'loved ones' are criticizing you harshly whenever you are in contact? Constantly bashing your choices and goals?
Then it isn't healthy to stay in contact with these people.
|
