Posted by JvR: 
Come on, guys. I think Nyah is more mature about this than a lot of the photographers telling her to dump the guy outright. She obviously values the relationship. If it was as clear-cut as some of you make it out to be, she would have dumped him a long time ago.

And let's be realistic about her choices as well. We're talking modeling here. It's something that she can probably do for a few years, but not forever. If this is the guy for her, she could well give up a life-long relationship for a short-term career.

Also, while we know that this business is supposed to be just like any other business and that he's just lacking that knowledge, these forums are full of posts about photographers and models going over the line or whether it's right to ask a model for a drink/date after the shoot.

And some of the married photographers are the ones then answering these posts with innuendo. I know they're joking, but to an outsider it might look screwy. Hell, my wife supports me in this, but I bet she'd have a hard time reading some of these posts without getting doubts about that support.

Thank you JVR for making it a point that this relationship is valuable to me and that it's not just a screw it type of reltionship...more that it's true modeling is not my main priority but something i enjoy as a past time and I just wnat to know what to do to get by these few years when i'm at it...

Posted by JvR: 
I do photography on the side, so, yes, I have been and I am in other fields. I'm also fine with the humor and I've been guilty of sexual innuendo plenty of times.

I was just saying that somebody with doubts about the industry - probably largely based on the rare horror stories and the way movies depict photo shoots - might feel uncomfortable having his/her partner be part of it.

I also wasn't talking about all of the photographers, just the ones who told her to dump the guy outright.

Hope you're doing okay after that hospital stay.

Thanks! Yea, I had a bad valve ... it was out of tune since I was born. Tried to get my garage to replace it with a mechanical one but they don't take my insurance. LOL 

It was May 5th 2002 that after struggling to shoot a wedding in Tahoe the weekend before, and still shooting that day ... had two strong Momma's holding up up while I shot their daughters ... I went to the ER. The doctors told me thatmy heart was dieing.  Umm .. I've had it broken one too many times! And that I would need a heart transplant. It scared me to death! I told them I did not beleive that! So I would not stay in bed .. wondered the halls looking for the exit! Later on the miricle I knew would happen did! I left the hospital before the month of May was up.

At home I got strong enough to go in to Stanford for a repair job on my valve. That was June 10th 2003, and it's been two years now. I feel better than I have ever felt in my life! It is like being given a second chance at life! Enjoy each and every day!

Posted by Aperture Photographics: 
Get rid of the boyfriend.  If it's not this issue, there will be another issue down the road that he'll feel similarily about and want to keep you from being a part of. 
 

Usually it takes a few responses before someone says exactly what I was going to say, but this time it's right there at the beginning. Aperture Photographics is dead on. Once he wins this battle, he'll find another one. An insecure person NEVER catches on that he/she has nothing to fear. Eventually he'll drive you away. So it's your choice; a modeling career you'll deeply regret giving up for him at some point. Or a guy you'll eventually resent for sidetracking you from your dreams, once the lust is gone. If he was all that great, you wouldn't even have asked us what to do.

Posted by Patrick Walberg: 

Posted by JvR: 
I do photography on the side, so, yes, I have been and I am in other fields. I'm also fine with the humor and I've been guilty of sexual innuendo plenty of times.

I was just saying that somebody with doubts about the industry - probably largely based on the rare horror stories and the way movies depict photo shoots - might feel uncomfortable having his/her partner be part of it.

I also wasn't talking about all of the photographers, just the ones who told her to dump the guy outright.

Hope you're doing okay after that hospital stay.

Thanks! Yea, I had a bad valve ... it was out of tune since I was born. Tried to get my garage to replace it with a mechanical one but they don't take my insurance. LOL 

It was May 5th 2002 that after struggling to shoot a wedding in Tahoe the weekend before, and still shooting that day ... had two strong Momma's holding up up while I shot their daughters ... I went to the ER. The doctors told me thatmy heart was dieing.  Umm .. I've had it broken one too many times! And that I would need a heart transplant. It scared me to death! I told them I did not beleive that! So I would not stay in bed .. wondered the halls looking for the exit! Later on the miricle I knew would happen did! I left the hospital before the month of May was up.

At home I got strong enough to go in to Stanford for a repair job on my valve. That was June 10th 2003, and it's been two years now. I feel better than I have ever felt in my life! It is like being given a second chance at life! Enjoy each and every day!

Good thing you got better there, Patrick.. I can only imagine the complaining the bride and groom would have done had you not recovered and gotten them their pics!!  LOL!!

  Seriously, glad that you're back on your feet and continuing to do the things you love.. Oddly enough, the sister of the last bride I shot, her photographer died 3 days before the wedding.. You can only imagine the what if questions I was drilled with!!  :-)

  Take care and stay healthy!!

Posted by Mystic 7: 

Posted by Aperture Photographics: 
Get rid of the boyfriend.  If it's not this issue, there will be another issue down the road that he'll feel similarily about and want to keep you from being a part of. 
 

Usually it takes a few responses before someone says exactly what I was going to say, but this time it's right there at the beginning. Aperture Photographics is dead on. Once he wins this battle, he'll find another one. An insecure person NEVER catches on that he/she has nothing to fear. Eventually he'll drive you away. So it's your choice; a modeling career you'll deeply regret giving up for him at some point. Or a guy you'll eventually resent for sidetracking you from your dreams, once the lust is gone. If he was all that great, you wouldn't even have asked us what to do.

And I think that is the real issue; why do so many women, and some men, try to build relationships around lust, the packaging of the individual, rather then look at the content.. And why do they continue down the same path time and time and time again...

Posted by JvR: 

Posted by Ty Simone: 

Posted by JvR: 
Come on, guys. I think Nyah is more mature about this than a lot of the photographers telling her to dump the guy outright. She obviously values the relationship. If it was as clear-cut as some of you make it out to be, she would have dumped him a long time ago.

And let's be realistic about her choices as well. We're talking modeling here. It's something that she can probably do for a few years, but not forever. If this is the guy for her, she could well give up a life-long relationship for a short-term career.

Also, while we know that this business is supposed to be just like any other business and that he's just lacking that knowledge, these forums are full of posts about photographers and models going over the line or whether it's right to ask a model for a drink/date after the shoot.

And some of the married photographers are the ones then answering these posts with innuendo. I know they're joking, but to an outsider it might look screwy. Hell, my wife supports me in this, but I bet she'd have a hard time reading some of these posts without getting doubts about that support.

I am one of the photogs you mentioned.
I am married, My wife supports me 100%
She has read a ton of the posts here, and knows them for what they are.
She has seen me chatting with a girl as part of an online game, where the girl was the Queen, I was the king, and we made comments back and forth all the time.

My wife gets up every morning at 4 am and goes to a hotel with the guy next door. (to deliver newspapers you pervert) She goes twice a week with the guy down the street to clean buildings.

Never have I ever suspected her of doing anything that violates our marriage, nor has she ever suspected me.

It is a trust thing.
(and a money thing.... divorce in NJ is expensive! why should she settle for half when she can castrate me and still have it all?)

Seriously, If people can not see humor for humor, and harmless flirting for what it is, then there is something wrong.

Sure, Ty. Good for you. My wife is fine with this as well.

But I also had a whole bunch of male colleagues who just couldn't understand how my wife could let me go out on weekends to shoot half-naked young women.

In this community, we might think we're quite normal, but I think the reality is that to most Americans, what we're doing isn't proper. And that's partly based on ignorance and partly on the fact that to many people anything to do with nudity is bad.

I've lived here many years, but I'm originally from Holland. Those lad's magazines here are tame to what I used to read as a teenager back in Holland in the eighties. I can't remember ever going to the beach in Europe and not seeing topless women. I just couldn't believe the outcry over Janet Jackson's boob and I'm waiting for the day that Maxim shows a nipple...

No kidding! I want to visit Holland someday! When it comes to buddies who don't understand me, they are no friend of mine! As for a wife, I've come close a couple times to getting married, but I just don't think I'm meant to marry.

No one can keep up with me! Not even the freaking nurses when I pulled a "Somethings Gotta Give" routine like the Jack Nicholson character, of trying to leave the hospital! The food is horrible and the room service always is late! It's the most over priced room I've every stayed in! I don't recommend it! I can't sleep, too much to do! LOL

Any way, with the current administration, it does give the impression that American's are prudes! There really are some sane people here in the USA, but it's just slightly less than half of us!

Posted by Keith aka Wolfie: 

Posted by Patrick Walberg: 

Posted by JvR: 
I do photography on the side, so, yes, I have been and I am in other fields. I'm also fine with the humor and I've been guilty of sexual innuendo plenty of times.

I was just saying that somebody with doubts about the industry - probably largely based on the rare horror stories and the way movies depict photo shoots - might feel uncomfortable having his/her partner be part of it.

I also wasn't talking about all of the photographers, just the ones who told her to dump the guy outright.

Hope you're doing okay after that hospital stay.

Thanks! Yea, I had a bad valve ... it was out of tune since I was born. Tried to get my garage to replace it with a mechanical one but they don't take my insurance. LOL 

It was May 5th 2002 that after struggling to shoot a wedding in Tahoe the weekend before, and still shooting that day ... had two strong Momma's holding up up while I shot their daughters ... I went to the ER. The doctors told me thatmy heart was dieing.  Umm .. I've had it broken one too many times! And that I would need a heart transplant. It scared me to death! I told them I did not beleive that! So I would not stay in bed .. wondered the halls looking for the exit! Later on the miricle I knew would happen did! I left the hospital before the month of May was up.

At home I got strong enough to go in to Stanford for a repair job on my valve. That was June 10th 2003, and it's been two years now. I feel better than I have ever felt in my life! It is like being given a second chance at life! Enjoy each and every day!

Good thing you got better there, Patrick.. I can only imagine the complaining the bride and groom would have done had you not recovered and gotten them their pics!!  LOL!!

  Seriously, glad that you're back on your feet and continuing to do the things you love.. Oddly enough, the sister of the last bride I shot, her photographer died 3 days before the wedding.. You can only imagine the what if questions I was drilled with!!  :-)

  Take care and stay healthy!!

Would you beleive that I was WORKING from my hospital room? Well I was! My helpers delivered the photos and my sister came to pick up the packages when I had 'em ready to ship off!  I refuse to die! There is too much unfinished stuff for me to do, places to see, people to become friends with ...

Posted by Keith aka Wolfie: 
Ok Patrick, I have a feeling when you finally do pass on to the great beyond, you're body won't know it for 3 days!!  LOL!!

Those nurses must have just loved you!!  Thanks for the laugh...

Keith, with that statement ... you've "hit the nail on the head" when it comes to my personality! Yep, and I loved the nurses back!  For a laugh ... You are welcome!

As for this topic ... Nyah, Life is too short not to follow your heart! 

Posted by Patrick Walberg: 

Posted by JvR: 
I do photography on the side, so, yes, I have been and I am in other fields. I'm also fine with the humor and I've been guilty of sexual innuendo plenty of times.

I was just saying that somebody with doubts about the industry - probably largely based on the rare horror stories and the way movies depict photo shoots - might feel uncomfortable having his/her partner be part of it.

I also wasn't talking about all of the photographers, just the ones who told her to dump the guy outright.

Hope you're doing okay after that hospital stay.

Thanks! Yea, I had a bad valve ... it was out of tune since I was born. Tried to get my garage to replace it with a mechanical one but they don't take my insurance. LOL 

It was May 5th 2002 that after struggling to shoot a wedding in Tahoe the weekend before, and still shooting that day ... had two strong Momma's holding up up while I shot their daughters ... I went to the ER. The doctors told me thatmy heart was dieing.  Umm .. I've had it broken one too many times! And that I would need a heart transplant. It scared me to death! I told them I did not beleive that! So I would not stay in bed .. wondered the halls looking for the exit! Later on the miricle I knew would happen did! I left the hospital before the month of May was up.

At home I got strong enough to go in to Stanford for a repair job on my valve. That was June 10th 2003, and it's been two years now. I feel better than I have ever felt in my life! It is like being given a second chance at life! Enjoy each and every day!

amen hope you feel great these days keep healing...

Posted by Patrick Walberg: 

Posted by Keith aka Wolfie: 
Ok Patrick, I have a feeling when you finally do pass on to the great beyond, you're body won't know it for 3 days!!  LOL!!

Those nurses must have just loved you!!  Thanks for the laugh...

Keith, with that statement ... you've "hit the nail on the head" when it comes to my personality! Yep, and I loved the nurses back!  For a laugh ... You are welcome!

As for this topic ... Nyah, Life is too short not to follow your heart! 

Amen to that as well!!!

Posted by Nyah Matela: 
I'd say he's a great decent guy that's just not fond of my modeling thing...to me it's something i'd love doing but to him he claims theres so much more to do out there...and he as well claims he's not open minded and i'd have to deal with it...

But put it this way i've been trying to do more of fashion shoots and to him it's something he can deal with...

If this is something you enjoy, then you will most likely want to continue doing it.  Your boyfriend is young, as are you, He will one day have to learn this lesson that his jealousy is not good for any relationship.  Loosing you, or going through the arguements created from this is part of that lesson.  He simply is not at the stage in his life that he has learned this lesson.

Few relationships work if he is like this, if you stop modeling, or he tries to stop being jealous, the side problems created from this will kill your relationship.

It's a maturity thing, he is not ready for where you are.