JerodKeller Photography wrote:
Sounds like a double-standard to me.  You're completely offended and grossed-out when a photographer you're not attracted to hits on you, but it's totally OK for you to hit on/consider sleeping with a "hot" photographer you are attracted to.  It sounds to me like you weren't offended that a photographer implied he wanted to sleep with you, just offended that the photographer wasn't hot enough for you to sleep with but asked anyway. 

Both are equally unprofessional and neither party should be thinking about anything other than the task at hand to create great work.

Sorry but don't you think there is a big difference between these 2 cases?
I've never asked the second photographer to sleep with me but to go for a drink one day and it was a TFP shoot. Secondly, the first one after I didn't agree to do it haven't paid me and messaged me saying that this is the way of making a career in this industry and being rude, he obviously thought I will sleep for him because he gave me a job so I have to be grateful and do it.

Teila K Day Photography wrote:
2.  Some photographers will get horny like some models will and sparks fly, no less common than two people working together in a law office, school district, accounting firm, medical clinic, or any number of places where adults are in contact with each other.  Attraction happens and sex happens... are you really surprised?

hartcons wrote:
last time i worked in an office (admittedly that was a long time ago) i don't recall any nekkid chicks running around doing sexy poses. there's a certain intimacy about the shoots that could lead to hijinks. in fact i have a glamour book that basically says if you play your cards right you will get laid sometimes (i haven't but i'm married and i'm also over the hill although i was called "big and strong" the other day. lol) and for my part i've more into curves and models tend to run on the skinny side because of the camera adds 10 pounds thing.

You probably didn't work in an office brimming with thin, good looking"Ally McBeal" types click-clacking in 4 inch heels around you all day either

Even in the military, or  civilian hospitals... sex between co-working professionals is rather common and hardly surprises anyone that it goes on.

Teila K Day Photography wrote:
(( sigh )) ...

You're asking questions that a woman your age shouldn't have to ask even if only a smidgen of common sense was employed.

1.  Of course some photographers (like some models) sleep with, come onto, grope, make suggestive comments, etc., towards those they're working with, have worked with, and or want to work with.   It's been going on since the beginning of time.  Big deal.  If you're receptive to it great, because you're an adult or at least old enough to use common sense (16, 17 year olds, etc..);  If you're *not* receptive to it, then just walk away and refuse to engage in such type of conversation, and be smart enough not to encourage the idiot by cussing-him-out or any other type of knee-jerk response that makes you look like a dull minded nit, that ceases to act like a lady the instant some guy (or gal) says something you don't like.   Really, it wasn't that big of a deal to even mention.  Welcome to Life.

2.  Some photographers will get horny like some models will and sparks fly, no less common than two people working together in a law office, school district, accounting firm, medical clinic, or any number of places where adults are in contact with each other.  Attraction happens and sex happens... are you really surprised?

3.  Is is common?  Depends on your definition of "common".  Many here will say no, and quip about professionalism, but the bottom line is that it's about as common as as a soft porn model sleeping with a photographer/videographer.  Let's just say industry wide, it isn't "rare", and no less surprising than hearing about a manager sleeping with an administrative assistant.

4.  I think the photographer acted inappropriately, however I think you not getting your photos and getting paid might have been your fault because you didn't do the shoot.  Perhaps you clarified this later in the thread, but by what you wrote here, you were offended, you cussed him out, and you left.  So he didn't have anything to do with you not getting photos or paid, unless he refused to shoot you and do his duty as a photographer by generating photographs and giving you what you were due (photos and or payment) as per contract.  IF the photographer failed in that regard then you have a case, but if you simply ran off due to him offended you then the only thing the photographer is guilty of is acting like a heel.

Assuming there were others present (hair, makeup, assistant, etc.) then you could've done the shoot, got paid, and got photographs after declining his offer of sex.  If there weren't others present, I would have also declined without cussing him out- because once you did that (cussing him out), you began acting like the very type of person you accused him of treating you like in the first place (and I quote you) ....  a  "hoe".

What's ya reason to be so mean and sarcastic?

I did that because I felt offended, he obviously shouldn't have done this and that was my natural reaction, same as slapping a guy that smacks my ass- most women do it. The way he suggested that was disgusting and inapropriate- he said I have to say "thank you for getting a job" and he meant that I gotta sleep with him. And you tellin me I act like a hoe because I reacted like that.
And how can you think I didn't do the shoot?? What would I expect to get paid and get my photos if I didn't? Thats quite obvious that he asked me for that AFTER the SHOOT.

MartaBrixton wrote:
Hi there!

I've got some questions for ya.

Have you ever slept with a photographer?
Have you ever got any offers?
Have you ever felt like you want to during the shoot?
Is that a common thing or not really?

I'm asking because once I had a paid shoot for a calendar and photographer suggested that I should sleep with him after the shoot. I felt really offended, cursed him badly and left. After that he sent me an email saying that I don't know the industry and I won't achieve anything, I'm just a kid and it's not for me, he wanted to promote me but I act like a virgin and also he said all models that he promoted slept with him and they are big now. I didn't get pictures and money, was really pissed off because I had to travel far and he treated me like a hoe. That made me think- is it really that common? Because I consider it as prostitution (sleeping with phtographer to get paid) so it's sad what women can do for doe.

Its better to keep things at a professional level..
The photographer suggesting you should sleep with him had no class and have just shot you to try to sleep with you.
Some photographers are notorious for trying to sleep with their models.
Which is kinda sad. (Its kinda like, I need to get laid; out of desperation). After all, if a photographer is bold enough to suggest. Its because he knows its not going to happen if does not mention anything or suggest.
Whats worst, some model do sleep with photographers feeling they owe them for shooting them... If you have a photographer who treats you like that, you need to shoot with a better person.. Some photographers brag on who they slept with, buts only because they back the models up on the corner and the models are caught off guard and some are not sure how to respond and think, "If I don't I'll get no pictures". Terrible.....

JerodKeller Photography wrote:
Sounds like a double-standard to me.  You're completely offended and grossed-out when a photographer you're not attracted to hits on you, but it's totally OK for you to hit on/consider sleeping with a "hot" photographer you are attracted to.

Not a double standard at all.

Hitting on models + promising them success in return for sex at a shoot = WRONG

Going out for a drink with somebody you met at work, after work = pretty normal in most industries.




Ciao
Stefano

www.stefanobrunesci.com

Lanna Barrones wrote:
Is that a common thing or not really?
Not among professionals.  (Unless you count Terry Richardson, but I think we can all agree that he doesn't display professional behavior.)

I disagree with this. It's extremely common for photographers and models to date, and I'm not talking about MM. For example, Mike Reinhart and Janice Dickinson were a hot item during her days as a top model. In fact, I would say that quite a lot of models have dated photographers at one point or another.

However, the first situation described by the OP was more like sexual harassment than an offer for a date, and that's not a good thing.

JerodKeller Photography wrote:
Sounds like a double-standard to me.  You're completely offended and grossed-out when a photographer you're not attracted to hits on you, but it's totally OK for you to hit on/consider sleeping with a "hot" photographer you are attracted to.  It sounds to me like you weren't offended that a photographer implied he wanted to sleep with you, just offended that the photographer wasn't hot enough for you to sleep with but asked anyway. 

Both are equally unprofessional and neither party should be thinking about anything other than the task at hand to create great work.

sounds like you can't read. or did you deliberately forget the point about the photographer pressuring her???
the two are completely different.

Teila K Day Photography wrote:

(( sigh )) ...

You're asking questions that a woman your age shouldn't have to ask even if only a smidgen of common sense was employed.

1.  Of course some photographers (like some models) sleep with, come onto, grope, make suggestive comments, etc., towards those they're working with, have worked with, and or want to work with.   It's been going on since the beginning of time.  Big deal.  If you're receptive to it great, because you're an adult or at least old enough to use common sense (16, 17 year olds, etc..);  If you're *not* receptive to it, then just walk away and refuse to engage in such type of conversation, and be smart enough not to encourage the idiot by cussing-him-out or any other type of knee-jerk response that makes you look like a dull minded nit, that ceases to act like a lady the instant some guy (or gal) says something you don't like.   Really, it wasn't that big of a deal to even mention.  Welcome to Life.

2.  Some photographers will get horny like some models will and sparks fly, no less common than two people working together in a law office, school district, accounting firm, medical clinic, or any number of places where adults are in contact with each other.  Attraction happens and sex happens... are you really surprised?

3.  Is is common?  Depends on your definition of "common".  Many here will say no, and quip about professionalism, but the bottom line is that it's about as common as as a soft porn model sleeping with a photographer/videographer.  Let's just say industry wide, it isn't "rare", and no less surprising than hearing about a manager sleeping with an administrative assistant.

4.  I think the photographer acted inappropriately, however I think you not getting your photos and getting paid might have been your fault because you didn't do the shoot.  Perhaps you clarified this later in the thread, but by what you wrote here, you were offended, you cussed him out, and you left.  So he didn't have anything to do with you not getting photos or paid, unless he refused to shoot you and do his duty as a photographer by generating photographs and giving you what you were due (photos and or payment) as per contract.  IF the photographer failed in that regard then you have a case, but if you simply ran off due to him offended you then the only thing the photographer is guilty of is acting like a heel.

Assuming there were others present (hair, makeup, assistant, etc.) then you could've done the shoot, got paid, and got photographs after declining his offer of sex.  If there weren't others present, I would have also declined without cussing him out- because once you did that (cussing him out), you began acting like the very type of person you accused him of treating you like in the first place (and I quote you) ....  a  "hoe".

Get to the point rather than "assuming" and acting like (on the hand, maybe...) and blaming it on "welcome to the real world.."

David Thorpe wrote:
And the knowledge that I'm as old as most of their dads makes it easy to keep my mind in the right place.

ammodphoto wrote:
Yes, I have been turned on during a photo shoot. However even though I am not a “professional” photographer I do believe in behaving professionally. If a model asked me if I wanted to get together sometime and I liked her I probably would, but she would have to make the first move, just because of the circumstances.

Just my opinion and beliefs.

+1
I just wanna say that unlike the photographer that the OP liked and thought was good looking...I'm SINGLE!!

Demao 7 Photography wrote:
It's still good work, it's just missing the "jazz" in them. For the integrity of the shots, the wiener stays packed away.

London Fog wrote:
It's not me, honest!

Me neither! I've never even been to England!

MartaBrixton wrote:
Have you ever slept with a photographer?
Have you ever got any offers?

My boyfriend is a photographer, so yes, I have slept with a photographer. But we were dating before we were shooting, although we did start as admirers of one another's work, then friends, then in a relationship.

One offer I remember was early on, off of another site called omp I was contacted by a photographer who wanted to shoot me as a Mord Sith (really cool leather outfit), he was having the outfit custom made, etc. Then before we scheduled a date he mentioned how excited his wife was. I asked why and was informed that apparently it was not just a photo shoot, but a sexual play scenario as well. Obviously I declined after that.

Have you ever felt like you want to during the shoot?

No. I am far too focused on my pose, my expression, and my emotion. To me it is a very introspective time in most cases.

Is that a common thing or not really?

I am not sure if I can say common or not, but I have been told of many, many photographers and models who have slept together both in relationships and casually. I have also heard of the many issues it can cause emotionally, professionally, and legally.

I do think it is fairly common for photographers and models to be in relationships. I know of several examples where people met through shoots or at events and ended up dating, but those times it was outside of shooting. More like a mutual interest sort of thing.

I'm asking because once I had a paid shoot for a calendar and photographer suggested that I should sleep with him after the shoot...

He was an idiot and unprofessional. I hope you check references and look for red flags. You cannot always weed out people like that, but references and looking for red flags can go a long way ^_^

From the other hand- I had a shoot with a really cute and hot photographer and I was really horny because he was sooo sexy and the way he was looking at me was just tooo much! So I wanted to see him again one day and go for a drink but then he said he has a wife so obviously didn't happen

If you are attracted to someone (and they are available), and you do it outside of shooting, there is nothing wrong with that. Just be aware of what may happen if things do not work out. In the case you mentioned, yes, it is probably best that you did not get involved as he was married.

In my opinion, the key here is that you should see the other person as a person who happens to be a photographer, not as a photographer and then as a potential sexual partner or whatever.

Waynesglamgirls V wrote:
That's unprofessional by the photographer.  Although some photographers and models do end up falling in love and they end up sleeping with each other but I guess that's different from the usual sleezy approach asking a model to sleep with them after 1 shoot.

is there a five-shoot rule? (like the old five-date rule in Ontario?)

Sungoddess Studios wrote:
It's hard sleeping with a photographer. The lens keeps poking you.

But those soft boxes sure do look good.

hbutz New York wrote:
A photographer who mixes business with pleasure will fail at both.

Like David Bailey ? Even when he was married pulling llamas. Did wonders for his photography.

MartaBrixton wrote:

I only do TFP now so no expectations.
I can't believe she done this, its just sooo wrong...

at some point in one's life, if one is very lucky, he or she gets a chance to grow up and mature. i could be wrong, however, i think maturity happens when you come to the realization that there are different types of people in the world who do all types of funny, crazy, stupid, ridiculous and absurd things in a given setting. yet, those same people can also be the nicest and kindest people in another setting.

i personally do not condone unprofessional behavior in any form, fashion or style.
no model, photographer, makeup artist, designer or stylist should be subjected to any unwanted sexual approach by anyone... one the set or off the set.

however, let's be honest here... when it comes photographers and a models, sex between them do happen on shoots and off shoots. as long as it is between consenting adults, it really is not my business.

now, it would appear that the only time you will have someone post anything in any of these forums about unwanted or unsolicited sexual advances on a shoot is when one person is not interested. if there is an interest and they do get together, do not expect to hear about it.

i could make the same argument concerning the CREEPY thread. one is creepy if i am not interested. if i am interested, then that person is not creepy.

i could also make reference to Hollywood and the entertainment industry as a whole.
do people have sex to advance their careers? you bet. yet, we all like to act as if that does not happen. apparently, the modeling industry is not immune to what happens in the world.

my layperson advice is this:
it's all about trial and error... and sometimes gut feelings.
try to work only with those who are empowering; those who are professional enough to separate business from pleasure.
avoid those who seem like they are seeking something else from a shoot besides some fantastic photos and a great time.
never work with paranoid individuals who expect to find a boogeyman behind every tree.
TFP does not mean someone will not have any expectations, nor does paying for a shoot. sometimes it is best to pay for what you want, take it and leave.
last but not least, learn to listen very carefully because sometimes people throw stuff at you just to see how you respond.

JerodKeller Photography wrote:
Sounds like a double-standard to me.  You're completely offended and grossed-out when a photographer you're not attracted to hits on you, but it's totally OK for you to hit on/consider sleeping with a "hot" photographer you are attracted to.

B R U N E S C I wrote:
Not a double standard at all.

Hitting on models + promising them success in return for sex at a shoot = WRONG

Going out for a drink with somebody you met at work, after work = pretty normal in most industries.




Ciao
Stefano

www.stefanobrunesci.com

Exactly. 

Not to mention the whole "she was 16 when the first incident happened" part.

MartaBrixton wrote:
What's ya reason to be so mean and sarcastic?

I did that because I felt offended, he obviously shouldn't have done this and that was my natural reaction, same as slapping a guy that smacks my ass- most women do it. The way he suggested that was disgusting and inapropriate- he said I have to say "thank you for getting a job" and he meant that I gotta sleep with him. And you tellin me I act like a hoe because I reacted like that.
And how can you think I didn't do the shoot?? What would I expect to get paid and get my photos if I didn't? Thats quite obvious that he asked me for that AFTER the SHOOT.

I wasn't being sarcastic.

"I'm asking because once I had a paid shoot for a calendar and photographer suggested that I should sleep with him after the shoot."

"having" a paid shoot and completing one are two different things.  I think if you had written that you "did" a paid shoot, even that would've been more clear, but I'll concede that I just didn't get what you were talking about;  However I left the possibility of you actually completing the shoot by writing:

"...unless he refused to shoot you and do his duty as a photographer by generating photographs and giving you what you were due (photos and or payment) as per contract.  IF the photographer failed in that regard then you have a case..."

So at this point if you completed the shoot per c-o-n-t-r-a-c-t then you ideally can be made whole again since you have a contract in hand with the terms of the agreement in black and white.

I think most intelligent people would've handled it differently, at least those that I've associated with over the years.  I don't get excited over someone making an offensive comment as my parents taught me to be better than that; just as easy to walk away or simply decline the offer for sex.  I thought cussing someone out and storming off in a huff was immature when I was in grade school, let alone as an adult.    We're just different in that regard.  People are different and that's what makes the world neat don't you agree?

I'm most interested in how you went about getting paid as opposed to hearing about what came from the mouth of one of many uncouth photographers.

Teila K Day Photography wrote:

I wasn't being sarcastic.

"I'm asking because once I had a paid shoot for a calendar and photographer suggested that I should sleep with him after the shoot."

"having" a paid shoot and completing one are two different things.  I think if you had written that you "did" a paid shoot, even that would've been more clear, but I'll concede that I just didn't get what you were talking about;  However I left the possibility of you actually completing the shoot by writing:

"...unless he refused to shoot you and do his duty as a photographer by generating photographs and giving you what you were due (photos and or payment) as per contract.  IF the photographer failed in that regard then you have a case..."

So at this point if you completed the shoot per c-o-n-t-r-a-c-t then you ideally can be made whole again since you have a contract in hand with the terms of the agreement in black and white.

I think most intelligent people would've handled it differently, at least those that I've associated with over the years.  I don't get excited over someone making an offensive comment as my parents taught me to be better than that; just as easy to walk away or simply decline the offer for sex.  I thought cussing someone out and storming off in a huff was immature when I was in grade school, let alone as an adult.    We're just different in that regard.  People are different and that's what makes the world neat don't you agree?

I'm most interested in how you went about getting paid as opposed to hearing about what came from the mouth of one of many uncouth photographers.

personally...I think ripping someone a new one for not having the exactly perfect response to a situation of vastly unequal power and knowledge when they were 16 and not writing down everything perfectly today is pretty immature...but that's just me.

Teila K Day Photography wrote:
I wasn't being sarcastic.

"I'm asking because once I had a paid shoot for a calendar and photographer suggested that I should sleep with him after the shoot."

"having" a paid shoot and completing one are two different things.  I think if you had written that you "did" a paid shoot, even that would've been more clear, but I'll concede that I just didn't get what you were talking about;  However I left the possibility of you actually completing the shoot by writing:

"...unless he refused to shoot you and do his duty as a photographer by generating photographs and giving you what you were due (photos and or payment) as per contract.  IF the photographer failed in that regard then you have a case..."

So at this point if you completed the shoot per c-o-n-t-r-a-c-t then you ideally can be made whole again since you have a contract in hand with the terms of the agreement in black and white.

I think most intelligent people would've handled it differently, at least those that I've associated with over the years.  I don't get excited over someone making an offensive comment as my parents taught me to be better than that; just as easy to walk away or simply decline the offer for sex.  I thought cussing someone out and storming off in a huff was immature when I was in grade school, let alone as an adult.    We're just different in that regard.  People are different and that's what makes the world neat don't you agree?

I'm most interested in how you went about getting paid as opposed to hearing about what came from the mouth of one of many uncouth photographers.

Ok, the first one was a misunderstanding but still I think it was quite obvious... Probably my fault, but Enlish is not my first language, so I apologize for my grammar mistakes.

Inteligency has nothing to do with a temper, a lot of intelligent people have a bad temper and react that way so stop assuming that I'm stupid just cuz I've cussed photographer for being a pig.

Teila K Day Photography wrote:

I wasn't being sarcastic.

"I'm asking because once I had a paid shoot for a calendar and photographer suggested that I should sleep with him after the shoot."

"having" a paid shoot and completing one are two different things.  I think if you had written that you "did" a paid shoot, even that would've been more clear, but I'll concede that I just didn't get what you were talking about;  However I left the possibility of you actually completing the shoot by writing:

"...unless he refused to shoot you and do his duty as a photographer by generating photographs and giving you what you were due (photos and or payment) as per contract.  IF the photographer failed in that regard then you have a case..."

So at this point if you completed the shoot per c-o-n-t-r-a-c-t then you ideally can be made whole again since you have a contract in hand with the terms of the agreement in black and white.

I think most intelligent people would've handled it differently, at least those that I've associated with over the years.  I don't get excited over someone making an offensive comment as my parents taught me to be better than that; just as easy to walk away or simply decline the offer for sex.  I thought cussing someone out and storming off in a huff was immature when I was in grade school, let alone as an adult.    We're just different in that regard.  People are different and that's what makes the world neat don't you agree?

I'm most interested in how you went about getting paid as opposed to hearing about what came from the mouth of one of many uncouth photographers.

Are you that jealous of her?
I mean... how ugly are you?

If I'm working and someone implies I have to sleep with him now. Cursing is only a bit of what I'd do to him

I consider myself HIGHLY PROFESSIONAL

MartaBrixton wrote:
Photographers- do you ever get horny during a shoot? You have seen sooo many beautiful women so probably not, just asking anyway.

Yes, about 70% of the time and that is also about the same % of shoots where I have sex with the model after the shoot.  Coincidentally, 70% is about the percent of all my shoots that I am photographing my beautiful wife and muse!

Forgive me, couldn't resist the question.

When it's not my wife/muse, I might be "titillated" by a particular shot but horney would not really be the right word.  I am much more occupied with creating some great work and my mind is not really in "that mode", if you know what I mean.

Maria Michaela wrote:
I sleep with a photographer I shoot with all the time...



isn't that normal then? 2 consenting adults?

wanna shoot? 

Image1 Enhancement wrote:

wanna shoot? 

When I read it I immediately thought.... that's  GOOD MKT!

BrandonLuong wrote:
I hear it happens more than you think, but only in high fashion places like nyc or paris, where its extremely competitive.

Adeele Rassel wrote:
Have you ever slept with a photographer? NO
Have you ever got any offers? Yes
Have you ever felt like you want to during the shoot? No I am not a hoe

Just because you get turned on during a shoot doesnt make you a ho.

erica jay wrote:
Nope ~ a little bit of tension makes better photos. If there is little possibility I'll work with a particular photographer, then they could be fair game...

????   

Are you saying that you would consider sleeping with a photographer you're not likely to work with but not with a photographer you are likely to work with?