Jules NYC wrote:
Would you support even one person if 50 people stood up and reported the same incident now (regardless of the statute of limitations)?

I would not unless the accuser said this happened yesterday or the day before. If it happened 20 or more years ago, they should've said something 20 or more years ago.

ETA: I would find a person's story much more believable if there was some evidence that something could've happened AND they weren't looking for any money at all.  I'd also find it much more believable if all these women told the same story. Instead, he groped this one, drugged and raped that one, did this and that to this one, etc etc.

I'm sure they haven't released all the details on the news (and they shouldn't) but it does leave me to wonder how many of these women tell matching stories and how many are gold diggers looking for gold. After all, it's not about the money ... It's about what's right.

Lovely Day Media wrote:

I would not unless the accuser said this happened yesterday or the day before. If it happened 20 or more years ago, they should've said something 20 or more years ago.

Why didn't you report your abuse to the police?

Jules NYC wrote:
Why didn't you report your abuse to the police?

There are many reasons. First and foremost because I didn't know I could. If neither of my parents believed me or that it was a criminal act, there was no way they'd have taken me to the police station or even let me call police. Finally, after I tried attacking her with a chair, she adopted a baby and stopped teaching for at least the rest of that year. I didn't have to see her anymore.

My question didn't get answered, though.  Should I call police now and report it? Should I sue her for millions? It's not about the money. It's about what's right.

Model Sarah wrote:
I've never been assaulted or raped but I'm able to put myself in someone else's shoes to understand not coming forward about something traumatic. The fact that some of you aren't is truly disgusting and the reason WHY women are afraid to come to the police (or anyone) after such an event. I'm starting to think a lot of you just lack empathy and that's scary.

The discussion is rather polarized.  I am not seeing much effort to understand the other point of view, from either side.  Men are expected to understand why women don't come forward, but there isn't much discussion about why men don't understand that.  Just condemnation.  There has been a story about the experiences of a boy here.  How was that boy treated differently in his childhood circumstances, than a girl would have been from the same time period?  What are boys told to do when they encounter difficulties growing up as opposed to girls?  I have seen no discussion about the differences in the times in which the thread's participants have grown up.  Really, you young whippersnappers think that you grew up under the same social understandings as the old men on this site?  There aren't very many old women MM to contribute.  Doesn't that make the conversation somewhat off balanced, and increase the effort required from both genders and points of view?

There are gross generalizations being thrown about.  "Rape is about power, not sex."  Okay, I have yet to read anyone explain how using a drug to knock someone out is about power.  Sorry, I don't see how I have any power over someone who is unconscious.  I have won no battle.  No display of strength, cunning or guile.  Why isn't conventional consensual sex about power?  Isn't seduction a power?

Why is a lack of understanding of the behavior of the victim, taken to be support for the perpetrator?  Why is the cynicism that would be displayed for any news story that lacks details, evidence, collaboration; only improper when the crime involves rape?

What are the men not telling you?  What are they not reporting?  What crimes do men not report and why don't they report crimes? How many of the men on this site/thread been accused by a woman of taking advantage of her sexually, when the woman was a full and willing participant, but regretted the action later?  Were the men accused of rape?  Or did the woman just go and tell all her friends?  Or did she then refuse to return the phone calls from a guy that meant no disrespect, and was willing to be fully invested, and has a completely different memory of what went down?  Do you remember the rape trails from that member of the Kennedy family in Palm Beach?  Why was he acquitted?  On the stand, the victim (and I will grant her the status even though he was acquitted) couldn't remember who took her panties off.  Hmm.  Think that that might have caused some skeptic points of view on the jury and in the community?

This is a complicated society of complicated personalities with complicated pasts and complicated presents with complicated futures, not really discussing a complicated issue.  All those people look at things based on their own experiences.  Not withstanding, people are horrified because someone doesn't understand the other's point of view?  They are the people that accuse the other people of a lack of empathy?

It is much easier, effortless probably, for a woman to put herself in another woman's shoes.



You think I would tell you my stories, on this thread?  On this site?  Fuck that.

Lovely Day Media wrote:
There are many reasons. First and foremost because I didn't know I could. If neither of my parents believed me or that it was a criminal act, there was no way they'd have taken me to the police station or even let me call police. Finally, after I tried attacking her with a chair, she adopted a baby and stopped teaching for at least the rest of that year. I didn't have to see her anymore.

My question didn't get answered, though.  Should I call police now and report it? Should I sue her for millions? It's not about the money. It's about what's right.

Frustrating when no one believes you I'm sure. Is it possible for you to empathize with the many women that allege that they were raped (be it Bill Cosby or anyone else)? Are you in fact angry at yourself for perhaps feeling helpless and taking the 'they should have reported it' stance as you did not?

As for your question, any lawyers around?

Civil suit perhaps.

Hunter  GWPB wrote:

There are gross generalizations being thrown about.  "Rape is about power, not sex."  Okay, I have yet to read anyone explain how using a drug to knock someone out is about power.  Sorry, I don't see how I have any power over someone who is unconscious.

When a person is unconconscious, they have no means to move, say "No" or do really anything physically or mentally that is of their choice/free will.

Being drugged is like being dead.

If a person has -0- control over their body & mind, that seems like a great deal of power to me.

KGSF wrote:
The guy who brought girls to Cosby's dressing room, stood guard, and made out the payments comes forward.

He's male, 90, and wants to do the right thing.

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainmen … -1.2020464

He has freakin' receipts.

Says a great deal about Bill's credibility doesn't it?

Even if he didn't rape 16/17? women, he was dishonest.

The 77-year-old entertainer has publicly admitted to cheating on Camille, his wife of 50 years and mother of his five children.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article … -wife.html

Bill could be an asshole, a cheater and dishonest, yet no conviction of rape.

There are many people in the world who are dishonest, are jerks and cheat on their partner. Not everybody rapes.

I wonder how this will play out.

KGSF wrote:
The guy who brought girls to Cosby's dressing room, stood guard, and made out the payments comes forward.

He's male, 90, and wants to do the right thing.

http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainmen … -1.2020464

He has freakin' receipts.

Alright... I read the article... Cosby was a horny womanizer who had sex with models, while his "friend" stood guard, who also acted as a courier for money sent to women, who might have had children by Cosby.

However... there is a far cry from being an adulterer and notorious womanizer and being a rapist who drugged women to have sex with.

What that article shows to me is that Cosby had such a huge supply of willing women, it makes it harder for me to see that Cosby had to drug and rape women.

But... that's just based on the article...

Is this ex-friend of Cosby coming out with a biography soon???

Jules NYC wrote:
Frustrating when no one believes you I'm sure. Is it possible for you to empathize with the many women that allege that they were raped (be it Bill Cosby or anyone else)? Are you in fact angry at yourself for perhaps feeling helpless and taking the 'they should have reported it' stance as you did not?

As for your question, any lawyers around?

Civil suit perhaps.

I wouldn't say it was frustrating as much as it was shocking. They couldn't understand why I'd be angry about some woman putting her lips on me. My father probably thought he'd *love* to be in that situation at that age. My mother probably thought of all the "embarrassment" she'd suffer if anything ever came of it. She was also probably angry because I wouldn't let her put her lips on me but some other woman did it all the time. Perhaps she thought that if I learned to like it, maybe I'd let her do it, too. 

This is just speculation on my part but figuring out what motivates a person to do something a certain way is not an exact science. What's logical to me doesn't have to be to anyone else.  99% of the time, if I ask my mother about why she said or did anything, the answer will be "I don't know". I don't know if this is a way of just not telling me anything or she doesn't want to think about anything, ever.

I am angry about it. It's not because I was helpless but because she put her lips on me several times AFTER I made it perfectly clear (at least in my mind) that it was not desirable. Maybe that chair was a better signal that things were escalating and I would resort to violence if I thought it was necessary.

If I knew then what I know now, I'd have left the classroom and made a bee line for the principal's office. I'm sure my parents would've been called and I'd have been in deep fecal matter yet again, but it wouldn't have mattered. They'd have to deal with the aftermath. They could've (should've IMO) gone to the school to at least talk with her. If that ended it, it would've been the end of the story.

I'm irrelevant in this, though.  Some of these women have said Cosby did things to them more than once.  Well, I don't personally care who someone is (or thinks they are). If they touch me inappropriately (IMO), I'm not going to let it happen a 2nd or subsequent time. If I'm on the job and HR won't do anything about it, I wouldn't be on the job anymore.

I don't understand why a person would be afraid of the police when reporting a crime. Yes, the police may ask a person to tell their story several times and it might take a while to file charges (if any ever get filed) but that's not a reason to not file a complaint, though. It's the way things are. If a person pulls out a gun and shoots the perp, the problem of them touching a person is over but new ones begin. What's the alternative? Live with and/or internalize it?

Well ... a person can do what at least some of these women seem to have done: wait 30 years, report it and sue for millions.

Lovely Day Media wrote:
I don't understand why a person would be afraid of the police when reporting a crime. Yes, the police may ask a person to tell their story several times and it might take a while to file charges (if any ever get filed) but that's not a reason to not file a complaint, though. It's the way things are. If a person pulls out a gun and shoots the perp, the problem of them touching a person is over but new ones begin. What's the alternative? Live with and/or internalize it?

just because you are incapable of understanding it doesn't mean there aren't real reasons. It happens millions of times all over the world every year. Women are revictimized by the justice system all the time. Called liars and troublemakers and sluts and instigators. But hey.. Lovely Day Media can't understand it so all of those women should just put on their big girl pants and deal with it.

Sorry. You're wrong.

Lovely Day Media wrote:
I wouldn't say it was frustrating as much as it was shocking. They couldn't understand why I'd be angry about some woman putting her lips on me. My father probably thought he'd *love* to be in that situation at that age. My mother probably thought of all the "embarrassment" she'd suffer if anything ever came of it. She was also probably angry because I wouldn't let her put her lips on me but some other woman did it all the time. Perhaps she thought that if I learned to like it, maybe I'd let her do it, too. 

This is just speculation on my part but figuring out what motivates a person to do something a certain way is not an exact science. What's logical to me doesn't have to be to anyone else.  99% of the time, if I ask my mother about why she said or did anything, the answer will be "I don't know". I don't know if this is a way of just not telling me anything or she doesn't want to think about anything, ever.

I am angry about it. It's not because I was helpless but because she put her lips on me several times AFTER I made it perfectly clear (at least in my mind) that it was not desirable. Maybe that chair was a better signal that things were escalating and I would resort to violence if I thought it was necessary.

If I knew then what I know now, I'd have left the classroom and made a bee line for the principal's office. I'm sure my parents would've been called and I'd have been in deep fecal matter yet again, but it wouldn't have mattered. They'd have to deal with the aftermath. They could've (should've IMO) gone to the school to at least talk with her. If that ended it, it would've been the end of the story.

I'm irrelevant in this, though.  Some of these women have said Cosby did things to them more than once.  Well, I don't personally care who someone is (or thinks they are). If they touch me inappropriately (IMO), I'm not going to let it happen a 2nd or subsequent time. If I'm on the job and HR won't do anything about it, I wouldn't be on the job anymore.

I don't understand why a person would be afraid of the police when reporting a crime. Yes, the police may ask a person to tell their story several times and it might take a while to file charges (if any ever get filed) but that's not a reason to not file a complaint, though. It's the way things are. If a person pulls out a gun and shoots the perp, the problem of them touching a person is over but new ones begin. What's the alternative? Live with and/or internalize it?

Well ... a person can do what at least some of these women seem to have done: wait 30 years, report it and sue for millions.

I'm pretty sure in hindsight that if you made a bee-line to the police station than the principal's office, most likely you'd be heard.

I don't think most at an earlier age especially have the fortitude to do exactly that. Imagine how angry these women feel if their allegations are all true.

As an aside, I felt disturbed what you wrote in bold. You should talk through that & the sexual misconduct you experienced with a psychologist. It will help you.

Wye wrote:
Sorry. You're wrong.

I'm not so sure that he is.

Lohkee wrote:

I'm not so sure that he is.

No. He most definitely is.

Millions of victims (not just women) understand what can happen if they go public with such allegations against a powerful rapist. They know the accusations and insults that will be hurled at them. The understand the disbelief that will be on the faces of friends and family and colleagues and law enforcement and the media.  Not everyone (in fact very very few) are willing and able to be revictimized by the very people that re supposed to be helping them.   But hey. Lovely day media doesn't understand why.. So those victims should either suck it up and hope they don't crack under the pressure or never ever ever ever speak of it again lest the victimization begin anew.

udor wrote:
What that article shows to me is that Cosby had such a huge supply of willing women, it makes it harder for me to see that Cosby had to drug and rape women.

Yeah.  That's the thing that gets me.  When your that well known, and that wealthy, I don't think you need to be "raping" women.  You can get all you want whenever you want.  Why would he want to put his career and life in such an illegal situation?  Yeah, I'm sure it "could" happen.  I just don't see it with Cosby. 

I could be wrong but still, to this day, no one has CHARGED him with anything.  Either charge the guy or move on. 

I am more sure about this though.  You are innocent until charged and PROVED guilty in a court of law.  So?  Get on with it.  Charge the guy!  If not, it's just hearsay.  Plain and simple.

Jules NYC wrote:
When a person is unconconscious, they have no means to move, say "No" or do really anything physically or mentally that is of their choice/free will.

Being drugged is like being dead.

If a person has -0- control over their body & mind, that seems like a great deal of power to me.

How does he have power over you? You seem to correlate your lack of power to equate to his abundance of power.  Isn't it true that women are advised to not physically fight a rapist, so that they may prevent greater injury or death?  Is that done so that a victim can live in shame and try to forget?  Hell no!  Why do you equate the loss of a battle with a lack of power?  A battle just starts a war.   

Drugging someone into a stupor and raping them is not the act of a powerful person, or a person that seeks power.  It is the act of a coward unable to exert his will over another.  If such a thing happens, then why do you surmise that he has the power, and you lack the power?  You could not defend yourself.  He had no power or he wouldn't need drugs.  But you still do have power, unless you give it to him afterwards.  When you become coherent, you have the potential to be the most powerful fucking thing he has ever encountered.  You have the power to go to the hospital; to go to the police; to make his life a living hell, especially if it is someone you can identify.  If he has power, it is in your lack of bravery to defend yourself- not during the attack, but after.  It is a mistake to think the battle is won or lost on the field of the fight.  Hell is paid afterward.

Boys and girls are all taught not challenge the authority.  Or to suck up an attack and get on with life.  Avoid bullies because you can't win.  Rarely are we to fight back no matter what the odds. 

As children we are generally repressed.  Our parents didn't believe us.  Our parents didn't fight for us, because they were taught the same things and had the same experiences.

Break the cycle.  Stand up.  What is worse?  To be called a liar, a whore, an opportunist the next day, or to live with it 20 years, have it eat up your life and be called a liar, a whore, an opportunist anyway, 20 years later.  And let him do it to how many more people in the meantime.

People above are really saying, it is okay to succumb to the fears of family and social pressures.  Be fearful and and say nothing.  They take away your power.

Wye wrote:
just because you are incapable of understanding it doesn't mean there aren't real reasons. It happens millions of times all over the world every year. Women are revictimized by the justice system all the time. Called liars and troublemakers and sluts and instigators. But hey.. Lovely Day Media can't understand it so all of those women should just put on their big girl pants and deal with it.

Sorry. You're wrong.

Maybe I am wrong ... but I don't think that I am. Here's why: you say women are revictimized by the system all the time. That's a matter of perspective. The alternative is a woman says someone touched or raped her, they go and arrest the person, lock them up without a trial and keep them locked up for the next 20-30 years.

If that works for you, great. I don't think that works for most, though.

Hunter  GWPB wrote:

The discussion is rather polarized.  I am not seeing much effort to understand the other point of view, from either side.  Men are expected to understand why women don't come forward, but there isn't much discussion about why men don't understand that.  Just condemnation.  There has been a story about the experiences of a boy here.  How was that boy treated differently in his childhood circumstances, than a girl would have been from the same time period?  What are boys told to do when they encounter difficulties growing up as opposed to girls?  I have seen no discussion about the differences in the times in which the thread's participants have grown up.  Really, you young whippersnappers think that you grew up under the same social understandings as the old men on this site?  There aren't very many old women MM to contribute.  Doesn't that make the conversation somewhat off balanced, and increase the effort required from both genders and points of view?

There are gross generalizations being thrown about.  "Rape is about power, not sex."  Okay, I have yet to read anyone explain how using a drug to knock someone out is about power.  Sorry, I don't see how I have any power over someone who is unconscious.  I have won no battle.  No display of strength, cunning or guile.  Why isn't conventional consensual sex about power?  Isn't seduction a power?

Why is a lack of understanding of the behavior of the victim, taken to be support for the perpetrator?  Why is the cynicism that would be displayed for any news story that lacks details, evidence, collaboration; only improper when the crime involves rape?

What are the men not telling you?  What are they not reporting?  What crimes do men not report and why don't they report crimes? How many of the men on this site/thread been accused by a woman of taking advantage of her sexually, when the woman was a full and willing participant, but regretted the action later?  Were the men accused of rape?  Or did the woman just go and tell all her friends?  Or did she then refuse to return the phone calls from a guy that meant no disrespect, and was willing to be fully invested, and has a completely different memory of what went down?  Do you remember the rape trails from that member of the Kennedy family in Palm Beach?  Why was he acquitted?  On the stand, the victim (and I will grant her the status even though he was acquitted) couldn't remember who took her panties off.  Hmm.  Think that that might have caused some skeptic points of view on the jury and in the community?

This is a complicated society of complicated personalities with complicated pasts and complicated presents with complicated futures, not really discussing a complicated issue.  All those people look at things based on their own experiences.  Not withstanding, people are horrified because someone doesn't understand the other's point of view?  They are the people that accuse the other people of a lack of empathy?

It is much easier, effortless probably, for a woman to put herself in another woman's shoes.



You think I would tell you my stories, on this thread?  On this site?  Fuck that.

Jesus christ.

You don't see how power comes into play with a man drugging a woman to the point where she's almost lifeless and he can do whatever he wants? Are you dense? That's power 101.

The cases of false rape are few and far between compared to actual rape, you know that right? And further you're proving my point how it is almost impossible for a lot of men to put themselves in a woman's shoes. It's isn't "easier" for a woman to put herself in a woman's shoes it is called being a human being. Men do not understand what women go through everyday when we experience unwanted cat calling or going to a bar and having a man try to have a conversation with  her when she wants nothing to do with him like she OWES him something because he is speaking to her. We've been discriminated since the dawn of time because of the lack of empathy of men to understand what it is like to be in our shoes from cat calling to rape. Sorry, that's seriously bothersome and disgusting.

Lovely Day Media wrote:

Maybe I am wrong ... but I don't think that I am. Here's why: you say women are revictimized by the system all the time. That's a matter of perspective. The alternative is a woman says someone touched or raped her, they go and arrest the person, lock them up without a trial and keep them locked up for the next 20-30 years.

If that works for you, great. I don't think that works for most, though.

No. That's not the only alternative. And I hope you understand that. If you don't then think about it for a little while and try to figure out what some other alternatives might be. It shouldn't be hard.

Hunter  GWPB wrote:
Break the cycle.  Stand up.  What is worse?  To be called a liar, a whore, an opportunist the next day, or to live with it 20 years, have it eat up your life and be called a liar, a whore, an opportunist anyway, 20 years later.  And let him do it to how many more people in the meantime.

Yeah that's right! Tell her to put her big girl pants on, suck it up, and take the power and stand up for herself! It's JUST THAT EASY!



Again, lack of understanding and empathy here. Point proven, again.

Model Sarah wrote:
Yeah that's right! Tell her to put her big girl pants on, suck it up, and take the power and stand up for herself! It's JUST THAT EASY!

:eyeroll:

Again, lack of understanding and empathy here. Point proven, again.

No.  The lack of empathy is yours.  You know nothing about me.  You know nothing about my struggles and battles and who has done what.  I never said it was easy.  You do what you have to do.  That is the power.  It is hard to be brave.

Wye wrote:
No. He most definitely is.

Millions of victims (not just women) understand what can happen if they go public with such allegations against a powerful rapist. They know the accusations and insults that will be hurled at them. The understand the disbelief that will be on the faces of friends and family and colleagues and law enforcement and the media.  Not everyone (in fact very very few) are willing and able to be revictimized by the very people that re supposed to be helping them.   But hey. Lovely day media doesn't understand why.. So those victims should either suck it up and hope they don't crack under the pressure or never ever ever ever speak of it again lest the victimization begin anew.

Or said another way ... a person gets harassed or assaulted today. They're too embarrassed or something else to report it to police or other authorities. They don't want to be "revictimized". 30 years later, though, since the alleged perp is now loaded with money (deep pockets) and they could walk away a millionaire, damn the embarrassment, pay me now!

If Bill Cosby raped someone, he should go to jail just like any other criminal. If he had consensual sex with someone who wasn't his wife and she feels raped because he got her pregnant and paid for all of her medical costs, child support, etc but never called her again, is he really a criminal? I say no.

You're entitled to your opinion, though.

Lovely Day Media wrote:

Or said another way ... a person gets harassed or assaulted today. They're too embarrassed or something else to report it to police or other authorities. They don't want to be "revictimized". 30 years later, though, since the alleged perp is now loaded with money (deep pockets) and they could walk away a millionaire, damn the embarrassment, pay me now!

If Bill Cosby raped someone, he should go to jail just like any other criminal. If he had consensual sex with someone who wasn't his wife and she feels raped because he got her pregnant and paid for all of her medical costs, child support, etc but never called her again, is he really a criminal? I say no.

You're entitled to your opinion, though.

You do understand that bill Cosby was richer and a bigger deal back then than he is now.. Right?

Hunter  GWPB wrote:

No.  The lack of empathy is yours.  You know nothing about me.  You know nothing about my struggles and battles and who has done what.  I never said it was easy.  You do what you have to do.  That is the power.  It is hard to be brave.

I'm pretty sure I'm aware of that but I haven't been traumatized either. Someone that has been, it is not that easy. Please understand that. It's not that hard or maybe it is for you.

Model Sarah wrote:
Jesus christ.

You don't see how power comes into play with a man drugging a woman to the point where she's almost lifeless and he can do whatever he wants? Are you dense? That's power 101.

The cases of false rape are few and far between compared to actual rape, you know that right? And further you're proving my point how it is almost impossible for a lot of men to put themselves in a woman's shoes. It's isn't "easier" for a woman to put herself in a woman's shoes it is called being a human being. Men do not understand what women go through everyday when we experience unwanted cat calling or going to a bar and having a man try to have a conversation with  her when she wants nothing to do with him like she OWES him something because he is speaking to her. We've been discriminated since the dawn of time because of the lack of empathy of men to understand what it is like to be in our shoes from cat calling to rape. Sorry, that's seriously bothersome and disgusting.

You say it isn't easier for a woman to put herself in a woman's shoes and then tell us men don't understand. Expecting us to be in your shoes, while making excuses for not being in ours. You haven't addressed a fraction of what I said. 

Do you really think that all men are powerful and we have not threats, dangers, intimidation because  women don't grab our butts?  (sorry typos in the heat of the moment)

Jesus Christ.  Are you that inhumane? 

False rapes are rare compared to the number of actual ones.  Are you saying we don't experience what I stated.  Are you saying that the actions we encounter from women, that are far less serious than a woman falsely crying rape, do not influence us and our thoughts?

Are you saying that because I can't imagine having a sense of power over a lifeless, helpless person, that I am wrong?  I see no power in that!

My post was to ask for empathy and understanding and discussion.  Not polarization.  But typical to the forums, anything else than head smacking confrontational bull shit is unacceptable.

Wye wrote:
No. That's not the only alternative. And I hope you understand that. If you don't then think about it for a little while and try to figure out what some other alternatives might be. It shouldn't be hard.

It shouldn't be hard for who?

You say women get revictimized all the time. How else could a woman NOT be revictimized if she has to go to court to testify? The only thing I can think of is take her word for it and lock the alleged perp up for the next 30 years (at least) without a trial or even listening to their side of the story.

It wouldn't be fair but who cares about fair? We're talking about an alleged rapist and a woman who has been victimized who shouldn't have that happen again.

If you have an alternative that's different, I'd like to hear it. I understand these things shouldn't happen but they do and will as long as people with evil in their hearts exist.

Lovely Day Media wrote:

It shouldn't be hard for who?

You say women get revictimized all the time. How else could a woman NOT be revictimized if she has to go to court to testify? The only thing I can think of is take her word for it and lock the alleged perp up for the next 30 years (at least) without a trial or even listening to their side of the story.

It wouldn't be fair but who cares about fair? We're talking about an alleged rapist and a woman who has been victimized who shouldn't have that happen again.

If you have an alternative that's different, I'd like to hear it. I understand these things shouldn't happen but they do and will as long as people with evil in their hearts exist.

Sorry. You didn't think hard enough. Read what I wrote and who I said was re victimizing the victims and try again.

Model Sarah wrote:

I'm pretty sure I'm aware of that but I haven't been traumatized either. Someone that has been, it is not that easy. Please understand that. It's not that hard or maybe it is for you.

Wait!  First you jump me for saying it is easy, when I didn't.  Then you want to throw out an insult by saying it is hard for me to be brave? 

No, being brave is hard.  Being brave means you have to stand against all matters of things.  But it is a learned response and one that is strengthened through practice.  And encouragement.  I encourage any woman who has been raped to stand up and be brave.  I will support that.  If bravery was easy, then many rapists would be in jail.  If bravery was easy, then many more than 13% of the rapes would be reported.

Wye wrote:
They know the accusations and insults that will be hurled at them. The understand the disbelief that will be on the faces of friends and family and colleagues and law enforcement and the media.  Not everyone (in fact very very few) are willing and able to be revictimized by the very people that re supposed to be helping them.

So, if I understand you correctly, standing up for yourself is being re-victimized? Seems to me that standing up for yourself is the most empowering thing one can do. Will it get ugly? Yep. You're going to have to back up your claims. 

In America an accused has a right to face their accuser and challenge the accusations made against them.

I, for one, would not want to live in a place where someone could make simply make a claim and, on the basis of that claim alone (30 years later), be presumed guilty and subjected to whatever punishment the state deemed appropriate.

No one said it was easy. No one said it was going to be a slam dunk.

So, what about those who make false claims?

Wye wrote:
You do understand that bill Cosby was richer and a bigger deal back then than he is now.. Right?

What difference does that make? If he did it, he did it. If he was richer then, doesn't it seem like then would've been the time to sue him? Why now?

Lovely Day Media wrote:

What difference does that make? If he did it, he did it. If he was richer then, doesn't it seem like then would've been the time to sue him? Why now?

AFAIK, nobody is suing him, just talking smack. It would be interesting to look at where the careers of these people are today. Maybe there is an ulterior motive at play?

Wye wrote:
Sorry. You didn't think hard enough. Read what I wrote and who I said was re victimizing the victims and try again.

I read what you wrote. If a woman can't or won't stand up for herself lest she be revictimized by a lot of people, including law enforcement, the only thing I can think of is to make it so that she doesn't have to deal with these people. 

You're right, though. There is another alternative: lock up all males from birth. Since they all have the proper equipment to rape, the only safe place for women in the world is anywhere that men aren't .... so if they're all locked up, no woman will ever be victimized in the first place. She won't have a family to face (no children to grow up), law enforcement won't have to exist because no woman ever commits a crime and all her friends will be in the exact same boat.

Hunter  GWPB wrote:
How does he have power over you? You seem to correlate your lack of power to equate to his abundance of power.  Isn't it true that women are advised to not physically fight a rapist, so that they may prevent greater injury or death?  Is that done so that a victim can live in shame and try to forget?  Hell no!  Why do you equate the loss of a battle with a lack of power?  A battle just starts a war.   

Drugging someone into a stupor and raping them is not the act of a powerful person, or a person that seeks power.  It is the act of a coward unable to exert his will over another.  If such a thing happens, then why do you surmise that he has the power, and you lack the power?  You could not defend yourself.  He had no power or he wouldn't need drugs.  But you still do have power, unless you give it to him afterwards.  When you become coherent, you have the potential to be the most powerful fucking thing he has ever encountered.  You have the power to go to the hospital; to go to the police; to make his life a living hell, especially if it is someone you can identify.  If he has power, it is in your lack of bravery to defend yourself- not during the attack, but after.  It is a mistake to think the battle is won or lost on the field of the fight.  Hell is paid afterward.

Boys and girls are all taught not challenge the authority.  Or to suck up an attack and get on with life.  Avoid bullies because you can't win.  Rarely are we to fight back no matter what the odds. 

As children we are generally repressed.  Our parents didn't believe us.  Our parents didn't fight for us, because they were taught the same things and had the same experiences.

Break the cycle.  Stand up.  What is worse?  To be called a liar, a whore, an opportunist the next day, or to live with it 20 years, have it eat up your life and be called a liar, a whore, an opportunist anyway, 20 years later.  And let him do it to how many more people in the meantime.

People above are really saying, it is okay to succumb to the fears of family and social pressures.  Be fearful and and say nothing.  They take away your power.

Power means something far different to me than it does to a rapist.

To a rapist, they are in full control/power in a situation where one is drugged or if they have physical dominance/force over a person. Some feel power simply from the fear/dominance when the victim IS fully conscious.

I feel powerful when I'm working at something I truly enjoy, I have enough $ in my picket not to ask for anything from anyone and I'm living the life I want.