Lovely Day Media wrote:
Every grown woman I've ever met knows how to slap a person. They certainly know how to spit on a person. If that doesn't get their attention, an overhand right (or left) should do the trick. If it's a brutal and/or violent rape it might not stop the assault but in cases of harassment (touching inappropriately, etc), it seems that it would or should.

Yes, also an enthusiastic and well-placed knee into the groin if necessary. But most women are simply not prepared to take such action. It takes a lot of deprogramming to train women to engage effectively in self-defense. My wife and I have trained many victims of sexual assault, and even those women feel like aspects of their femininity are being traded away in order for them to be ready to defend themselves. They feel like they will be less desirable, they feel like others will be able to tell they are ready for trouble and will avoid them, they feel like they might overreact and actually do serious harm to someone who was simply being socially inept. Most men simply have no insight into how hard it is for women ---including those who have been assaulted or abused--- to come to terms with empowering themselves to the extent of being secure about defending themselves. It's not just about learning useful techniques... there's a whole mess of sociological/psychological gender-role-related stuff that must be addressed as well. It's just not as simple as hauling off and punching someone like dudes can do at an almost-instinctive level.

Wye wrote:
And here we have in quite a lot of words the reason that so many rapes go unreported.

Congratulations.

Because I said they shouldn't wait 20-30 years to report it? I guess global warming and pollution are my fault, too?  Does it do any good to report a crime 20 years later? I'm not talking about children here.

Jules NYC wrote:
For those who just 'don't get it':

Ever wonder why rapists go around stealing sex? What makes them do what they do especially when sex isn't really that difficult to get anymore? After interviewing Baltimore serial rapist Reginald Williams, it's shocking to learn that rape isn't about the sex or lack of. In fact, studies show that 34% of all sex offenders have some form of impotence or sexual dysfunction meaning that most of the time the actual sex isn't even what's arrousing or exciting to the rapist. Like domestic violence, rape is definitely a crime of power. It's a crime of humiliation in the worse way. It's a crime of 100% complete control over the victim whether male or female. Sex is just the weapon that is used.

http://www.examiner.com/article/why-do-rapists-rape

+1

Lovely Day Media wrote:

First and foremost, these aren't "my rules" for how to deal with being raped. It just makes sense that if someone rapes someone, there is no need to wait 30 years to report it. That may well be "just my opinion", but if one wants the perp caught, it makes sense.

Next .. if/when someone touches me inappropriately (IMO), I ask them to take their hands off me. If they won't or don't, I tell them to take their hands off me. If they won't or don't, I tell them violence is about to ensue. If they won't or don't, we become 2 fighting people and I'm doing what I can to make sure they remember not to touch me anymore. It doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman. If I tell them to take their hands off me, I mean it. There is no need to punch a woman in the face hard enough to break a bone in most cases, but there are some that require such force.

I had a teacher in the 4th grade who wouldn't keep her lips off me. I asked her to stop, I told her to stop, I threatened violence. She wouldn't stop until I tried hitting her with a chair. My parents got a phone call and I got in major trouble at home for that. They asked me why I did it and I said she wouldn't keep her lips off me. They said she's "just being nice". When I asked why she couldn't "just be nice" to someone else, they said shut up and just do what she says. 

Every grown woman I've ever met knows how to slap a person. They certainly know how to spit on a person. If that doesn't get their attention, an overhand right (or left) should do the trick. If it's a brutal and/or violent rape it might not stop the assault but in cases of harassment (touching inappropriately, etc), it seems that it would or should. 

I agree that it shouldn't have to come to that but there is a fine line between bold and cocky ... legal and illegal.  If a man touches a woman and she likes it, all is okay. If she doesn't like it, she should say so right then instead of waiting 30 years to sue someone after 20 other women have come forward.

More interesting notions from you, just like the interesting notions you posted in earlier threads about Sandusky in the shower room at Penn State.

Lovely Day Media wrote:

Because I said they shouldn't wait 20-30 years to report it? I guess global warming and pollution are my fault, too?  Does it do any good to report a crime 20 years later? I'm not talking about children here.

You said a lot more than that.

Laura UnBound wrote:

A) I didn't say that grabbing someone's ass IS raping them. Obviously it's not. But I also am not going to tell someone that one is so much better or worse than the other, or be the person to tell a woman who's been touched nonconsensually that her issue isn't SO bad because at least she didn't get raped, or any of that nonsense. I'm not in the business of telling people how they should feel about their experiences or trying to diminish them with bullshit "it could have been worse"s.

What I DID say is that there are many types of sexual assault (which rape is one of) that are almost impossible to prove 100%, so when someone stands there and demands undeniable proof from a person has been the victim of any kind of sexual assault, they should be aware they're demanding the next to impossible. They should be aware just exactly the type of burden they're putting on a victim, and that they're basically telling victims they will under no circumstance be believed if they can't produce DNA or extremely clear video tape, or something else that often doesn't exist.

I have absolutely no trouble speaking about two types of sexual assault in the same sentence, they're both sexual assault, they're both illegal, they're both horrible.


B) I don't think any amendments to the constitution need to be made, and certainly not based on gender, considering the stats on male rape victims. I think an amendment to the way we treat victims is needed, I think empathy is needed, I think destroying the idea that when a woman claims she was raped what's really going on is she's some vengeful witch just out for some poor good mans money is needed. I think paying attention to the facts about false rape accusations is needed. I think when nearly a dozen separate people say the same shit and the probability that they're lying is less than bill Cosby getting killed by a shark bite to his ass the next time he sits on his fucking toilet, believing the victims instead of villainizing them is needed.

You did imply that that tit and ass grabbing is rape - "Is there a new type of rape kit that identifies tit and ass grabbing?" Why would a rape kit need to identify tit and ass grabbing if those were not pertinent to rape? If not, then why not have a rape kit that identifies copyright violation, and checks your bank statement? All of the women I know are quite capable and have no need to be treated as children.

Laura UnBound wrote:

Rapists don't rape because it's the only way they can get ANYONE to have sex with them. They do it to have power over someone. There are hot rapists that droves of women would normally throw themselves at, it's not about the convenience of sex.

Eeeww  why would a woman throw themselves at a hot rapist dude? I know it might happen but why?

KGSF wrote:
Men who talk about reporting a rape, after just being raped, exactly and just as if it were as simple and easy as reporting that an unknown vandal smashed your car window. And you have insurance.

Where to... I don't even...

if you had a clear rational idea, you could try.

John Photography wrote:
Eeeww  why would a woman throw themselves at a hot rapist dude? I know it might happen but why?

I am not trying to defend Mr. Crosby's so called  rapist exploits....... But I remember a situation that occurred years ago. ...... A fellow met a  most attractive "hottie" in a café and after several hours of social interaction    she invited the fellow to visit her cottage.  After a couple minutes of kissing and tenderness.... she said   "I don't like this tender shit.......  I want you to throw me on the bed ...rip my clothes off and get rough and fuck me.  I really don't  like being treated gently"   A real  surprise. ....  I  can only guess some gals love it really rough !!!

ZMPHOT   wrote:

I am not trying to defend Mr. Crosby's so called  rapist exploits....... But I remember a situation that occurred years ago. ...... A fellow met a  most attractive "hottie" in a café and after several hours of social interaction    she invited the fellow to visit her cottage.  After a couple minutes of kissing and tenderness.... she said   "I don't like this tender shit.......  I want you to throw me on the bed ...rip my clothes off and get rough and fuck me.  I really don't  like being treated gently"   A real  surprise. ....  I  can only guess some gals love it really rough !!!

I know women like that and they're not nice to be around.

Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:
Lets cool down a bit. Things are getting a little ugly here.

You expected other wise ??

Cherrystone wrote:


More interesting notions from you, just like the interesting notions you posted in earlier threads about Sandusky in the shower room at Penn State.

What did I say about Sandusky in the shower room?

Locutus wrote:
Who is Bill Cosby?

Bill Cosby
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001070/


home
http://img.washingtonpost.com/rf/image_ … 593467.jpg

Locutus wrote:
Who is Bill Cosby?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Cosby

KGSF wrote:
From http://www.datalounge.com/cgi-bin/iowa/ … d,11724975

The post is over two years old and long before this shitstorm.

***

I worked for The Tonight Show during Johnny Carson's reign and when Bill Cosby was a regular Monday Guest host filling in for Johnny. One particular Monday when Cosby was guest hosting and I wasn't more than 19 years old, I had the ONLY bad experience in my 9 years working on the show.

Cosby, Mr. Playboy Jazz Festival showed up early to listen to the Tonight Show Orchestra rehearse in the late afternoon. As Im standing by Doc Severinsen's podium, I kiddingly said to Mr Cosby: Good luck to your Sixers, but i think the Lakers are going to take this one. HE WENT APESHIT ON ME. Here I am a little girl in essence (only girl crew person in my career infancy) and he got right in my face screaming profanities at me pushing his chest out assaulting me while yelling at me! (over a basketball game? Come on!) It got so bad, violent, perverted, mean and frightening my guys from the crew and band members jumped to my defense saying to him is your career worth this, for gods sake she's a little girl! He was so in my face I truly feared he was going to hit me. Eventually the security took him from the studio until time for his monologue. Ive known for 30 years that Bill Cosby is a bully, crazy, untalented, pushy, racist, mean and and egocentric asshole! Ill spit on his grave when he dies and that couldn't happen soon enough!

***

Who said this? Why do they want to be anonymous? This incident happened almost 40 years ago. Even if it's 100% true, where does it say he raped whoever this was?

Click Hamilton wrote:
^Heresay.

If he is such a monster, why doesn't someone file charges and sue him in a court of law, and get a conviction based on evidence rather than character assassination by yellow journalism?

Why is there such blatant gap in attack strategy here?

Statute of Limitations. In most states, I think its only about 10 years.

Farenell Photography wrote:
Statute of Limitations. In most states, I think its only about 10 years.

If there are so many coming forward all at once now, why didn't someone step forward when it allegedly happened in previous decades?

Why is it all suddenly exactly at this particular point in time?

If they want to file complaints why didn't they do it before the statute of limitations kicks in?

Why did so many of them all wait so long to say anything?


Just curious.

Click Hamilton wrote:
If there are so many coming forward all at once now, why didn't someone step forward when it allegedly happened in previous decades?

That's quite common in sexual assault, sexual harassment, & rape allegations.

The victim thinks they're alone & are ashamed of what happened, often thinking its their fault. They often feel MORE alone when people who should care, like law enforcement or family members, will often discount their claim - this is often called the 2nd violation.

1 person being brave & coming forward can open the floodgates to be just as brave to tell their story, disproving that they too are not alone.

Farenell Photography wrote:
That's quite common in sexual assault, sexual harassment, & rape allegations.

The victim thinks they're alone & are ashamed of what happened, often thinking its their fault. They often feel MORE alone when people who should care, like law enforcement or family members, will often discount their claim - this is often called the 2nd violation.

1 person being brave & coming forward can open the floodgates to be just as brave to tell their story, disproving that they too are not alone.

That's speculative in general and non-specific to any particular individual.

It's about as conclusive as saying the 60's was a popular era of grass roots "free love" and that groupies were everywhere by the thousands trying to get boinked by celebrities.

Sue Ann Levy wrote:
Sometimes it does take 30 long years to speak up about it. It took me longer than that. I suspect there are many more women like Copps and myself who’ve kept assaults quiet for decades.

I can only speculate on her motivation for keeping it a secret. Perhaps she weighed the consequences of pursuing justice and realized it would be extremely career-limiting for her to speak out. By this, I mean she’d forever be the subject of gossip and jokes about being attacked herself while on a tour, ironically, studying violence against women. Perhaps she knew she’d be re-victimized by a justice and police system which I still found to be downright reluctant in 2005 to pursue my case.

Perhaps she chose not to relive the experience. I’m just getting used to that myself and watching the Jian Ghomeshi scandal unfold in the past two weeks hasn’t helped much.

According to Statistics Canada, more than 80% of women who suffer a sex assault do not report it for fear of being victimized all over again by the police and the courts. More than 51% of all Canadian women have been subject to at least one incident of sexual violence in their lives but only 6% of those incidents are reported to police.

Scoff all you want at these women.. pontificate all you want about what they should have done.. wear your lack of empathy and understanding of basic human nature on your sleeves as much as you like.  But make no mistake.. you're just plain wrong.

Lovely Day Media wrote:

First and foremost, these aren't "my rules" for how to deal with being raped. It just makes sense that if someone rapes someone, there is no need to wait 30 years to report it. That may well be "just my opinion", but if one wants the perp caught, it makes sense.

Next .. if/when someone touches me inappropriately (IMO), I ask them to take their hands off me. If they won't or don't, I tell them to take their hands off me. If they won't or don't, I tell them violence is about to ensue. If they won't or don't, we become 2 fighting people and I'm doing what I can to make sure they remember not to touch me anymore. It doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman. If I tell them to take their hands off me, I mean it. There is no need to punch a woman in the face hard enough to break a bone in most cases, but there are some that require such force.

I had a teacher in the 4th grade who wouldn't keep her lips off me. I asked her to stop, I told her to stop, I threatened violence. She wouldn't stop until I tried hitting her with a chair. My parents got a phone call and I got in major trouble at home for that. They asked me why I did it and I said she wouldn't keep her lips off me. They said she's "just being nice". When I asked why she couldn't "just be nice" to someone else, they said shut up and just do what she says. 

Every grown woman I've ever met knows how to slap a person. They certainly know how to spit on a person. If that doesn't get their attention, an overhand right (or left) should do the trick. If it's a brutal and/or violent rape it might not stop the assault but in cases of harassment (touching inappropriately, etc), it seems that it would or should. 

I agree that it shouldn't have to come to that but there is a fine line between bold and cocky ... legal and illegal.  If a man touches a woman and she likes it, all is okay. If she doesn't like it, she should say so right then instead of waiting 30 years to sue someone after 20 other women have come forward.

So basically you had your very own incident of being sexually harassed, you tried multiple times to stop it, when you took it into your own hands you were punished and told that you were overreacting....and you STILL don't understand why a woman might not immediately waltz her happy ass into a police precinct to report her rape

DCurtis wrote:

You did imply that that tit and ass grabbing is rape - "Is there a new type of rape kit that identifies tit and ass grabbing?" Why would a rape kit need to identify tit and ass grabbing if those were not pertinent to rape? If not, then why not have a rape kit that identifies copyright violation, and checks your bank statement? All of the women I know are quite capable and have no need to be treated as children.

Rape often involves tit and ass grabbing. Also sometimes wrists, necks, ankles, etc. a rape kit will involve swabs, samples, etc from basically anywhere there might be evidence, it's not strictly a qtip shoved in the vagina.  You're really reaching here

Women certainly don't wish to be treated as children. Children are often not believed when they make a complaint, children are often seen as whining, and making a big deal out of nothing. Children are accused of throwing tantrums. We don't want people treating our assaults and rapes like nothing, as viewing our speaking out against abusive people as tantrums. We want you to believe us when we tell you that someone is hurting us, instead of asking us what we did to make them hurt us, or question what we could possibly be gaining from making someone out to be a bad guy. We want anything besides to be treated like children.

John Photography wrote:

Eeeww  why would a woman throw themselves at a hot rapist dude? I know it might happen but why?

Typically they don't know the mans a rapist when they're throwing themselves at them, but a mass murderer is getting married, so....there's someone for everyone.

If you ever see stories of boys being molested by hot women, there will ALWAYS be men talking about what "lucky little bastard"s the victims are, saying they wish they'd had teachers/babysitters/etc as hot as the rapist when they were kids, that they would have killed to lose their virginity to a hot teacher. They accuse the victims of being gay, because why else would a boy NOT want the sexual attention of a hot older woman. It's a big reason why male victims rarely report. Women get called vindictive bitches and liars, men get called wimps and homosexual for not enjoying the experience. Any time the attacker is attractive there will be a group of people who will say they would have welcomed the abuse. People are fucked up.

ZMPHOT   wrote:

I am not trying to defend Mr. Crosby's so called  rapist exploits....... But I remember a situation that occurred years ago. ...... A fellow met a  most attractive "hottie" in a café and after several hours of social interaction    she invited the fellow to visit her cottage.  After a couple minutes of kissing and tenderness.... she said   "I don't like this tender shit.......  I want you to throw me on the bed ...rip my clothes off and get rough and fuck me.  I really don't  like being treated gently"   A real  surprise. ....  I  can only guess some gals love it really rough !!!

You're drawing parallels between consensual rough sex...and rape.

Excellent.

Click Hamilton wrote:

If there are so many coming forward all at once now, why didn't someone step forward when it allegedly happened in previous decades?

Why is it all suddenly exactly at this particular point in time?

If they want to file complaints why didn't they do it before the statute of limitations kicks in?

Why did so many of them all wait so long to say anything?


Just curious.

Why does the question that's already been answered over and over and over keep getting asked? Just curious.


Why don't victims immediately report being assaulted?

-fear for their:
Lives
Family
relationships
Careers
Reputations
Etc

Fear of:
Disbelief
Being accused of being a lying vindictive money grabbing hateful insane home wrecking bitch
Even MORE unwanted attention
Having their personal lives forcibly made public
Smear campaigns to discredit them
Being labeled a slut, easy, having wanted it, etc
Being rejected/abandoned/alienated by loved ones who don't believe them or blame them
Etc

-shame for "letting" themselves be assaulted

-sense of guilt for having "led them on" or "dressed too slutty". Guilt for only saying no and not for kicking their attacker in the face or any of the other lovely advice people will give you after you've been assaulted on how you SHOULD have reacted to make yourself less guilty for getting yourself assaulted. Guilt for maybe not saying anything because they froze. Guilt of being too afraid. Etc.



They don't fucking report it because you don't fucking believe it. many, many, MANY people who have been through ANY type of trauma would prefer to try to bury it and forget it because it's too painful for them to deal with any other way. I know people who can't even talk about a bad break up or the death of a distant relative they barely even knew. How is it even a little bit surprising that people who have been raped don't jump at the thrill of sitting in front of groups of strangers reliving a traumatic experience over and over and over and still risking that it was for nothing at the end because some jackass thinks she's just a batshit crazy gold digger at the end of the day and tells her there's no point in filing a report because it won't get anywhere.

How is this even still a question. Look at any case where a rapist has been found guilty, you will find thousands of people who denied that rapists guilt, up to and even after a verdict. In many You'll find that the victims were smeared through the media, all over the Internet, they've had to leave their jobs, move towns, relocate their families if they even have any when it's over.

People who report rapes are sent death threats. THEY HAVE THEIR LIVES THREATENED FOR HAVING THE AUDACITY OF TELLING SOMEONE THAT THEY WERE RAPED. Its still not understood why someone might not file a report? It's just totally escaping you?

Laura UnBound wrote:
So basically you had your very own incident of being sexually harassed, you tried multiple times to stop it, when you took it into your own hands you were punished and told that you were overreacting....and you STILL don't understand why a woman might not immediately waltz her happy ass into a police precinct to report her rape

So ... I guess I should go to the police now and report this "crime"? What good is it going to do 35 or so years later?  Would anyone listen or care? Or does it only matter with Cosby because he's a multi millionaire and he'll likely pay these people to go away?

There is a difference between not immediately reporting something and waiting 30 years to sue for millions because there is no chance of a criminal conviction.

Laura UnBound wrote:
People who report rapes are sent death threats. THEY HAVE THEIR LIVES THREATENED FOR HAVING THE AUDACITY OF TELLING SOMEONE THAT THEY WERE RAPED. Its still not understood why someone might not file a report? It's just totally escaping you?

Do they get these same death threats for suing someone 30 years after the fact (if it is a fact) for millions because they felt too ______ 30 years before to report it? If they do, why would they bother suing and/or reporting it now? If they don't, why would they have got death threats then? 

Many people have been convicted (or acquitted) on 30 year old DNA. If Cosby drugged and/or raped these women, there would be evidence had they reported it. They may not have been able to process it at the time and the statute of limitations may be expired in some states but they'd have evidence, anyway. If it were a matter of sexual harassment, there might not be any DNA to process but it would be on the record that someone filed this complaint around the time that it happened (as opposed to 20 years later).

Click Hamilton wrote:

If there are so many coming forward all at once now, why didn't someone step forward when it allegedly happened in previous decades?

Why is it all suddenly exactly at this particular point in time?

If they want to file complaints why didn't they do it before the statute of limitations kicks in?

Why did so many of them all wait so long to say anything?


Just curious.

Bill Cosby had (and still has) resources that his accusers couldn't dream of bringing into a court:  the reputation of being a beloved public figure and a fortune of as much as $400 million.  That much money could buy a pack of savage lawyers who would pretty much run those women through the blender.  Most of the accusers were young and probably penniless at the time of their run ins with Cosby.  "Aspiring" actress, model, etc. occurs over and over again in the women's narratives.  The statute of limitations may have run out, but they certainly can get revenge on the man who made their lives a living hell.

Lovely Day Media wrote:

So ... I guess I should go to the police now and report this "crime"? What good is it going to do 35 or so years later?  Would anyone listen or care? Or does it only matter with Cosby because he's a multi millionaire and he'll likely pay these people to go away?

There is a difference between not immediately reporting something and waiting 30 years to sue for millions because there is no chance of a criminal conviction.

Would you support even one person if 50 people stood up and reported the same incident now (regardless of the statute of limitations)?

Lovely Day Media wrote:

Do they get these same death threats for suing someone 30 years after the fact (if it is a fact) for millions because they felt too ______ 30 years before to report it? If they do, why would they bother suing and/or reporting it now? If they don't, why would they have got death threats then? 

Many people have been convicted (or acquitted) on 30 year old DNA. If Cosby drugged and/or raped these women, there would be evidence had they reported it. They may not have been able to process it at the time and the statute of limitations may be expired in some states but they'd have evidence, anyway. If it were a matter of sexual harassment, there might not be any DNA to process but it would be on the record that someone filed this complaint around the time that it happened (as opposed to 20 years later).

I think you are not fully understanding why there are no records/evidence of these alleged events.