ontherocks wrote:
seems like almost every time a women is interviewed about what they are looking for in a man they say "confidence". seems like mr. cosby has plenty of that! maybe too much for his own good.

For his *own* good?!?!

*shakes head*

Wye wrote:
For his *own* good?!?!

*shakes head*

Shot By Adam wrote:

He's a total opposite of what you see of him on camera. I was working backstage at some events spanning a few years and saw him frequently. He was a keynote speaker at some very large seminars around the world that I was working with and the regulars on the roster were Cosby, Larry King, Bill Clinton, Mikhail Gorbachev, Donald Trump, Steve Forbes, Richard Branson, and others. I had the opportunity to meet all of them many times. Before or after the speakers would go on stage we would do photo shoots with them with certain dignitaries or executives of the event promotions company or photos for promo pieces, etc. Everyone was always polite and kind and easy to work with except Cosby. He spoke well, and talked about his life stories and such on stage and the crowd loved him. The instant he was off stage he would bark orders, yell at assistants, and was crude to everyone who came in contact with him. I once heard him say, "Can we please hurry this stupid photo shoot up already? I'm really getting sick of hanging around here and want to be taken back to my hotel right now!" The only people who wanted to be around him were people who had never been around him before. The rest of us wanted nothing to do with the guy. The event had several security drivers to take the speakers to and from their hotels and even they once had to draw straws as to who took Cosby back to his hotel as nobody wanted to do it.

Perhaps he acts like a cranky old man or queen but that shouldn't suggest he's prone to raping people. lol. He visited Buffalo, NY one time (don't recall the reason) and made an appearance on the local news and joked around with the weather guy and sat down with him in front of the blue screen and acted silly and talked about how weather guys usually have a good sense of humor. I assume he isn't always an ass in person or a sense of him might linger among those that did meet him that the local crowd see daily on TV.  Ryan Seacrest though. What a twat! lol.

Raoul Isidro Images wrote:
Cosby is such a small fry

Small Fry ???
est worth $350-400 million dollars
http://www.celebritynetworth.com/articl … ck-actors/

ontherocks wrote:
you don't think all this is reflecting poorly on him now, too? not to mention the ones who are complaining yet continued to come back for more and continued to take his money and offers of fame/fortune in spite of the alleged abuse. and where was his wife in all this? what a mess. is the guy a cheating horndog or a criminal? to me if he did in fact use date rape drugs (and/or boink unconscious women) then he is a criminal. if he was just a confident, aggressive male and sugar daddy ahead of his time then maybe it's less clear (some of the women coming forward have pretty interesting histories of their own if you can believe anything you read on the internet).

Because then the women deserved it?  Or maybe they were dressed slutty?

You are an absolute piece of work.

Laura UnBound wrote:

Many types of assaults cannot BE proven. Is there a new type of rape kit that identifies tit and ass grabbing? Do you leave DNA when you molest someone over their clothes? Without a witness how do you prove you were anything besides penetrated? And even then, rape kits rely on dna, trace evidence, and visible trauma, if neither of those are present how are you going to prove it? Let's not even get into the part where real life is nothing like we see on law and order, we've got a backlog of thousands of untested kits, we botch investigations and fuck up evidence, we don't rush the lab for results in 12 hours so we can hurry up and catch our bad guys.

tit and ass grabbing is rape?

maybe we should make an exception in the Constitution for woman regarding rape, a man is guilty until proven innocent, would have made the Duke lacrosse case much easier to prosecute.

ontherocks wrote:
to me if he did in fact use date rape drugs (and/or boink unconscious women) then he is a criminal. if he was just a confident, aggressive male and sugar daddy ahead of his time then maybe it's less clear (some of the women coming forward have pretty interesting histories of their own if you can believe anything you read on the internet).

thank god i believe everything i read on the internet.

Laura UnBound wrote:
Many types of assaults cannot BE proven. Is there a new type of rape kit that identifies tit and ass grabbing? Do you leave DNA when you molest someone over their clothes? Without a witness how do you prove you were anything besides penetrated? And even then, rape kits rely on dna, trace evidence, and visible trauma, if neither of those are present how are you going to prove it? Let's not even get into the part where real life is nothing like we see on law and order, we've got a backlog of thousands of untested kits, we botch investigations and fuck up evidence, we don't rush the lab for results in 12 hours so we can hurry up and catch our bad guys.

DCurtis wrote:
tit and ass grabbing is rape?

maybe we should make an exception in the Constitution for woman regarding rape, a man is guilty until proven innocent, would have made the Duke lacrosse case much easier to prosecute.

Seriously?

Tit and ass grabbing is classified as sexual assault.  A friend of mine was arrested and prosecuted for it while on Spring Break one year.  It's not a joke and it's not acceptable and it SHOULD be illegal, just as it is.  Don't be ignorant.

Good Egg Productions wrote:

Laura UnBound wrote:
Many types of assaults cannot BE proven. Is there a new type of rape kit that identifies tit and ass grabbing? Do you leave DNA when you molest someone over their clothes? Without a witness how do you prove you were anything besides penetrated? And even then, rape kits rely on dna, trace evidence, and visible trauma, if neither of those are present how are you going to prove it? Let's not even get into the part where real life is nothing like we see on law and order, we've got a backlog of thousands of untested kits, we botch investigations and fuck up evidence, we don't rush the lab for results in 12 hours so we can hurry up and catch our bad guys.

Seriously?

Tit and ass grabbing is classified as sexual assault.  A friend of mine was arrested and prosecuted for it while on Spring Break one year.  It's not a joke and it's not acceptable and it SHOULD be illegal, just as it is.  Don't be ignorant.

I didn't say sexual assault was a joke, nor that it should be legal.  But, I do think it is dangerous to equate 'ass grabbing' with rape.

Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:
Perhaps he acts like a cranky old man or queen but that shouldn't suggest he's prone to raping people. lol.

I never suggested he is prone to raping people. All I'm saying is that he has a very low moral character when the cameras aren't rolling or the audience isn't applauding.

I assume he isn't always an ass in person or a sense of him might linger among those that did meet him that the local crowd see daily on TV.

It's important to understand though that I didn't just meet him once, I met him several times...probably about 4 or 5. He was not nice one of those times. Every time I saw him he was a rude, obnoxious jerk.

DCurtis wrote:
I didn't say sexual assault was a joke, nor that it should be legal.  But, I do think it is dangerous to equate 'ass grabbing' with rape.

A) I didn't say that grabbing someone's ass IS raping them. Obviously it's not. But I also am not going to tell someone that one is so much better or worse than the other, or be the person to tell a woman who's been touched nonconsensually that her issue isn't SO bad because at least she didn't get raped, or any of that nonsense. I'm not in the business of telling people how they should feel about their experiences or trying to diminish them with bullshit "it could have been worse"s.

What I DID say is that there are many types of sexual assault (which rape is one of) that are almost impossible to prove 100%, so when someone stands there and demands undeniable proof from a person has been the victim of any kind of sexual assault, they should be aware they're demanding the next to impossible. They should be aware just exactly the type of burden they're putting on a victim, and that they're basically telling victims they will under no circumstance be believed if they can't produce DNA or extremely clear video tape, or something else that often doesn't exist.

I have absolutely no trouble speaking about two types of sexual assault in the same sentence, they're both sexual assault, they're both illegal, they're both horrible.


B) I don't think any amendments to the constitution need to be made, and certainly not based on gender, considering the stats on male rape victims. I think an amendment to the way we treat victims is needed, I think empathy is needed, I think destroying the idea that when a woman claims she was raped what's really going on is she's some vengeful witch just out for some poor good mans money is needed. I think paying attention to the facts about false rape accusations is needed. I think when nearly a dozen separate people say the same shit and the probability that they're lying is less than bill Cosby getting killed by a shark bite to his ass the next time he sits on his fucking toilet, believing the victims instead of villainizing them is needed.

Laura UnBound wrote:
What I DID say is that there are many types of sexual assault (which rape is one of) that are almost impossible to prove 100%, so when someone stands there and demands undeniable proof from a person has been the victim of any kind of sexual assault, they should be aware they're demanding the next to impossible. They should be aware just exactly the type of burden they're putting on a victim, and that they're basically telling victims they will under no circumstance be believed if they can't produce DNA or extremely clear video tape, or something else that often doesn't exist.

What's the alternative? A female (I'll explain later why I say it this way) says some guy touched her butt. She calls police. They investigate. They can't "prove" it unless he admits to it (he doesn't). Then because she said it, it must be true? Whoever the guy is has to spend time in jail and/or pay a fine because she said he did something?

I understand that everyone wants "sexual assaults" to go away as they are undesirable at best and heinous at worst (for lack of a better word) but this is or seems to be coming to be the new Salem witchcraft trials. All someone had to do is say someone was a witch and they either got drowned or burned to death. 

It's unfair if someone is a victim of a sexual assault but it's also unfair to say "he grabbed my butt 30 years ago and should be prosecuted today (or pay me)".

For my "female" statement above ... I know a young man who has to register as a sex offender, has a really hard time finding and keeping a job, etc etc because at age 18, he pinched some girl's butt in school. The school principal asked him if he did it and he said yes. Police were called and the parents wanted to press charges. He didn't get any jail time, but because he was 18 (an adult) and the girl was 15 (a minor), it went down as a sexual assault and he's a sex offender for life. There is no expunging of records for sexual assaults in NJ, especially when the victim is a minor (he's a "child molester").

I'm not saying his actions are/were desirable but I also think his punishment doesn't fit the crime.

Laura UnBound wrote:

A) I didn't say that grabbing someone's ass IS raping them. Obviously it's not. But I also am not going to tell someone that one is so much better or worse than the other, or be the person to tell a woman who's been touched nonconsensually that her issue isn't SO bad because at least she didn't get raped, or any of that nonsense. I'm not in the business of telling people how they should feel about their experiences or trying to diminish them with bullshit "it could have been worse"s.

What I DID say is that there are many types of sexual assault (which rape is one of) that are almost impossible to prove 100%, so when someone stands there and demands undeniable proof from a person has been the victim of any kind of sexual assault, they should be aware they're demanding the next to impossible. They should be aware just exactly the type of burden they're putting on a victim, and that they're basically telling victims they will under no circumstance be believed if they can't produce DNA or extremely clear video tape, or something else that often doesn't exist.

I have absolutely no trouble speaking about two types of sexual assault in the same sentence, they're both sexual assault, they're both illegal, they're both horrible.


B) I don't think any amendments to the constitution need to be made, and certainly not based on gender, considering the stats on male rape victims. I think an amendment to the way we treat victims is needed, I think empathy is needed, I think destroying the idea that when a woman claims she was raped what's really going on is she's some vengeful witch just out for some poor good mans money is needed. I think paying attention to the facts about false rape accusations is needed. I think when nearly a dozen separate people say the same shit and the probability that they're lying is less than bill Cosby getting killed by a shark bite to his ass the next time he sits on his fucking toilet, believing the victims instead of villainizing them is needed.

Yes, I think if someone makes an accusation as serious as rape, they should provide evidence.

ontherocks wrote:
(some of the women coming forward have pretty interesting histories of their own if you can believe anything you read on the internet).

You're just a never ending bundle of amazement.

Do you have a club and live in a cave?

Lovely Day Media wrote:

What's the alternative? A female (I'll explain later why I say it this way) says some guy touched her butt. She calls police. They investigate. They can't "prove" it unless he admits to it (he doesn't). Then because she said it, it must be true? Whoever the guy is has to spend time in jail and/or pay a fine because she said he did something?

I understand that everyone wants "sexual assaults" to go away as they are undesirable at best and heinous at worst (for lack of a better word) but this is or seems to be coming to be the new Salem witchcraft trials. All someone had to do is say someone was a witch and they either got drowned or burned to death. 

It's unfair if someone is a victim of a sexual assault but it's also unfair to say "he grabbed my butt 30 years ago and should be prosecuted today (or pay me)".

For my "female" statement above ... I know a young man who has to register as a sex offender, has a really hard time finding and keeping a job, etc etc because at age 18, he pinched some girl's butt in school. The school principal asked him if he did it and he said yes. Police were called and the parents wanted to press charges. He didn't get any jail time, but because he was 18 (an adult) and the girl was 15 (a minor), it went down as a sexual assault and he's a sex offender for life. There is no expunging of records for sexual assaults in NJ, especially when the victim is a minor (he's a "child molester").

I'm not saying his actions are/were desirable but I also think his punishment doesn't fit the crime.

Fortunately for all the people out there grabbing people's butts nonconsensually, burning at the stake is not the sentence they'd be given even if we did prosecute a butt grab. For the most part we don't even report butt grabs because we won't be taken seriously if we do. This is still all besides the point I was making. No, a single incident of butt grabbing I didn't consent to will probably not ruin my whole life. And I probably will just shrug it off because society tells me that its not that big of a deal that someone accessed my body without my permission if it was *only a butt grab*. If, however, my boss helps himself to a handful of my ass every day for 6 months straight until I finally break down and take it to HR, I'm stuck with someone staring me down going "PROVE to me that this has happened, or I will do nothing"? Can I lift his finger prints from my pants? Am I incredibly lucky that he was bleeding from his hand the very moment he grabbed me and left some DNA in the fabric? Absent something incredible like that, or a witness, how do I prove that I have been the victim of an assault for 120 days of my employment under him? My BEST case scenario, outside of a very credible witness or security camera footage, is that there's someone else who's experienced the same thing and can coroborate. Which is HORRIBLE, that I have to HOPE he's done it to someone else just so I can make him stop doing it to me. And I have to HOPE that we're both not going to hear "you're a bunch of mean spirited selfish bitches trying to ruin a good man"

Because not all assaults leave proof. The point is that you can't be so black and white as to insist on undeniable proof or nothing happened. You'll leave hundreds upon thousands of victims without justice.



Further,
What punishment do you actually see bill Cosby getting? He's not going to jail, his crimes have passed the timeframe in which they can be prosecuted. He's almost 80 years old, has had a ~40 year career, he's got a net worth of 350 million dollars (way ahead of people like will smith, Samuel l Jackson, Denzel Washington, etc) and there's hordes of supporters willing to go so far as to send death threats to his alleged victims to show him how much they've got his back through all of this. He's keeping his head down. What on earth do you think that man is losing that is so precious you can liken it to being burned alive.

Laura UnBound wrote:
Fortunately for all the people out there grabbing people's butts nonconsensually, burning at the stake is not the sentence they'd be given even if we did prosecute a butt grab. For the most part we don't even report butt grabs because we won't be taken seriously if we do. This is still all besides the point I was making. No, a single incident of butt grabbing I didn't consent to will probably not ruin my whole life. And I probably will just shrug it off because society tells me that its not that big of a deal that someone accessed my body without my permission if it was *only a butt grab*. If, however, my boss helps himself to a handful of my ass every day for 6 months straight until I finally break down and take it to HR, I'm stuck with someone staring me down going "PROVE to me that this has happened, or I will do nothing"? Can I lift his finger prints from my pants? Am I incredibly lucky that he was bleeding from his hand the very moment he grabbed me and left some DNA in the fabric? Absent something incredible like that, or a witness, how do I prove that I have been the victim of an assault for 120 days of my employment under him? My BEST case scenario, outside of a very credible witness or security camera footage, is that there's someone else who's experienced the same thing and can coroborate. Which is HORRIBLE, that I have to HOPE he's done it to someone else just so I can make him stop doing it to me. And I have to HOPE that we're both not going to hear "you're a bunch of mean spirited selfish bitches trying to ruin a good man"

Some people like having their butt grabbed where others don't. Most of the time, especially in the work environment, one doesn't have to prove someone grabbed their butt as this isn't a sexual assault. It's sexual harassment. On the other hand, a person (not necessarily just men but it's mostly men) can be charged with sexual harassment for the sole act of telling a woman she looks nice. Should a person lose their job for telling someone they look nice? Some would say absolutely!

If you make a report with HR that someone touched you, there probably isn't much they can do about it. If, though, several other people make the exact same complaint OR you report this several more times (separate incidents), it seems like they'd have to do something. If they don't, you'd likely have a good case in a lawsuit.

If, though, you didn't file a report when or near the time it happened, what do you think HR will do if you said this person you've been working with touched your butt at least once a day for the last 30 years? Why didn't you say something 30 or even 25 years ago?

Bill Cosby is older than a lot of people, has made a lot of money in his career, probably still has a lot of it and still has a reputation to uphold. I'm not wishing anything bad on anyone, but if he were to die, they'd have no chance of getting any money out of him or his estate, so now is the time. Some people do this kind of thing just for the money.

  They accuse him of something "minor" like touching them inappropriately and a LONG time ago. He gets no jail time, but he'd likely pay them a LOT of money (at least to them) to make them go away as it's cheaper to pay than fight. There is no way to prove he touched them after so long a period of time, but a jury will award them a lot of money, anyway, because everyone on the jury wants that opportunity to be there for them if the situation should arise.

Maybe Cosby did touch one or some of them ... possibly even all of them. Why would 20 women wait 20+ years to file charges or sue him? Doesn't it seem like there would be at least 1 that would've said something way back when? Something stinks.

The Grey Forest wrote:
Cosby's life is none of our business,

unless you personally know him, or are an active part of this episode in his life,
honestly; you, I nor anyone has the right to judge him, period.

Its disgusting how some people thrive off other people's pain & enflame the drama
with wild assumptions and hearsay. 

Here's some uselful advice:

Live your own life, and try to refrain from judging others you have no right to,
especially without knowing all the facts.

I don't know Bill Cosby yet he is in the public eye.
I do not know strangers that get assaulted, the alleged perpetrators or post-trial convicted rapists.

Alleged or proven, it is news around the world.

I don't particularly care about Bill Cosby's personal life, yet this is everyone's business.

I understand innocent until proven guilty. Everyone's business, the verdict that is.

I used to write a police blotter for a city in CT.

Danielle Reid wrote:
Some people would do anything for money

Yes!!

Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:

What are the alternatives? Kim Kardashian's husband, Tracy Morgan who is a walking stereotype (respectfully since I know he's recovering), Steve Harvey who is a game show host largely? I'm a white guy so can't assume a white rolemodel will do but who do young black guys have to look to besides rappers?

I know sexual assault is devastating and it might not immediately occur to get checked out and collect evidence, but still waiting decades to push for a lawsuit? Rape is unfortunately very common and as I understand it there are large rooms full of rape kits that are a long way from being tested so it isn't like nobody takes the same to get checked.

I just think it is horrible to accuse anyone of such a horrible crime without proof that anything happened. If some people are bought off that is their ethical problem. But no matter ones wealth or power proof is proof and I'm not aware of any.

Kayne West? Steve Harvey?

I find that sad that's what you come up with.

Jules NYC wrote:
http://www.rrsonline.org/?page_id=944

Reporting & Prosecution

Only 13% of the sexual assault cases disclosed in the National Survey of Adolescents were reported to police, 6% to child protective services, 5% to school authorities, and 1.3% to other authorities. 86% of the sexual assaults went unreported.

In 2010, nationally only 50% of rapes/sexual assaults were reported to law enforcement.

Only 2-8% of all sexual assault accusations reported to law enforcement turn out to be false. This is the same rate as other types of violent crimes.

Misconceptions about false reporting have direct, negative consequences and may contribute to why many victims don’t report sexual assaults.

Nationally, of the rape and/or attempted rape reported to law enforcement in 2009, 41.2% resulted in an arrest.

There has been little or no change in the rates of prosecution of rape in the last two decades, and lack of prosecution allow serial rapists to run free.

If these stats are true, this is really effed up.
People should feel right about coming out and saying they were sexually assaulted.
With today's DNA technology you could most likely prove someone assaulted you.

Lovely Day Media wrote:

Some people like having their butt grabbed where others don't. Most of the time, especially in the work environment, one doesn't have to prove someone grabbed their butt as this isn't a sexual assault. It's sexual harassment. On the other hand, a person (not necessarily just men but it's mostly men) can be charged with sexual harassment for the sole act of telling a woman she looks nice. Should a person lose their job for telling someone they look nice? Some would say absolutely!

If you make a report with HR that someone touched you, there probably isn't much they can do about it. If, though, several other people make the exact same complaint OR you report this several more times (separate incidents), it seems like they'd have to do something. If they don't, you'd likely have a good case in a lawsuit.

If, though, you didn't file a report when or near the time it happened, what do you think HR will do if you said this person you've been working with touched your butt at least once a day for the last 30 years? Why didn't you say something 30 or even 25 years ago?

Bill Cosby is older than a lot of people, has made a lot of money in his career, probably still has a lot of it and still has a reputation to uphold. I'm not wishing anything bad on anyone, but if he were to die, they'd have no chance of getting any money out of him or his estate, so now is the time. Some people do this kind of thing just for the money.

  They accuse him of something "minor" like touching them inappropriately and a LONG time ago. He gets no jail time, but he'd likely pay them a LOT of money (at least to them) to make them go away as it's cheaper to pay than fight. There is no way to prove he touched them after so long a period of time, but a jury will award them a lot of money, anyway, because everyone on the jury wants that opportunity to be there for them if the situation should arise.

Maybe Cosby did touch one or some of them ... possibly even all of them. Why would 20 women wait 20+ years to file charges or sue him? Doesn't it seem like there would be at least 1 that would've said something way back when? Something stinks.

he was first accused nearly ten years ago. People wait because they're afraid/discouraged from reporting, not because they're trying to figure out when the best time to take a guys money from him will be. Your continuous insistence that some if not all of them *must* be lying because they didn't adhere to your set of rules for how to deal with being raped after the fact is a perfect demonstration of why people fail to report their assaults.

Mad Hatter Imagery wrote:
Why do people keep accusing him of alleged improper behavior 20+ years afterwards? He is a beloved figure and certainly a better role model for young black men than they have these days. Nothing was ever proved and I assume no real evidence either. And when Janice Dickinson chimes in I feel I can only assume people are just after his money.

Um, who exactly are you to tell us who is and is not a good role model for us?

I don't want or need to be guided by a rapist (or someone who has displayed extreme internalized racism and respectability politics.)

Connor Photography wrote:
With the power, money and fame that Crosby has, just wonder when he needs to use drugs to have sex with young women.  I am sure there are plenty of takers would do a FWB.  He must be pretty cheap too.

Rapists don't rape because it's the only way they can get ANYONE to have sex with them. They do it to have power over someone. There are hot rapists that droves of women would normally throw themselves at, it's not about the convenience of sex.

Connor Photography wrote:
That is just one explanation, but you don't know it all.  Even if your were a rapist in the past in your power play, it is just one case. 

Just like on MM forums, every one tries to power play over other members and seek domination.  They all have their own motive whatever it is.

Yeah, it's not like experts have been studying the psychology of criminals for hundreds of years or anything, I'm just making shit up over here about why bad people do bad things, so that it suits my agenda

Laura UnBound wrote:
he was first accused nearly ten years ago. People wait because they're afraid/discouraged from reporting, not because they're trying to figure out when the best time to take a guys money from him will be. Your continuous insistence that some if not all of them *must* be lying because they didn't adhere to your set of rules for how to deal with being raped after the fact is a perfect demonstration of why people fail to report their assaults.

First and foremost, these aren't "my rules" for how to deal with being raped. It just makes sense that if someone rapes someone, there is no need to wait 30 years to report it. That may well be "just my opinion", but if one wants the perp caught, it makes sense.

Next .. if/when someone touches me inappropriately (IMO), I ask them to take their hands off me. If they won't or don't, I tell them to take their hands off me. If they won't or don't, I tell them violence is about to ensue. If they won't or don't, we become 2 fighting people and I'm doing what I can to make sure they remember not to touch me anymore. It doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman. If I tell them to take their hands off me, I mean it. There is no need to punch a woman in the face hard enough to break a bone in most cases, but there are some that require such force.

I had a teacher in the 4th grade who wouldn't keep her lips off me. I asked her to stop, I told her to stop, I threatened violence. She wouldn't stop until I tried hitting her with a chair. My parents got a phone call and I got in major trouble at home for that. They asked me why I did it and I said she wouldn't keep her lips off me. They said she's "just being nice". When I asked why she couldn't "just be nice" to someone else, they said shut up and just do what she says. 

Every grown woman I've ever met knows how to slap a person. They certainly know how to spit on a person. If that doesn't get their attention, an overhand right (or left) should do the trick. If it's a brutal and/or violent rape it might not stop the assault but in cases of harassment (touching inappropriately, etc), it seems that it would or should. 

I agree that it shouldn't have to come to that but there is a fine line between bold and cocky ... legal and illegal.  If a man touches a woman and she likes it, all is okay. If she doesn't like it, she should say so right then instead of waiting 30 years to sue someone after 20 other women have come forward.

Laura UnBound wrote:
Why are we so bent on making pop culture figures role models in the first place? I mean there are plenty good people working in showbiz and I understand that it's so easy to soak up music and TV and movies and sports instead of like...read a book on history...but why on earth are we so insistent that these people be shining beacons of light for us?

Because they are visible.  The role models in a young person's life are always the visible ones.  Good or bad, they don't seek out positive role models.  Role models are already there.  It takes active and positive role models to introduce someone to the invisible/dead role models.   Celebrities and sports stars often reject their role model status.  They believe they can accept only the parts of the job that they want.  Fame and fortune, yes.  Responsibility, no.  Actually, some parents try to follow that route also.

Lovely Day Media wrote:

This wasn't my point. My point was a person who is a "victim" of a crime is a victim of a crime. Those who wait 20-30 years to report it aren't exactly helping the process and may be hurting it. 

Maybe my wording was wrong, but anyone can accuse anyone of anything, thus making them an "alleged victim". There is a difference between someone being the victim of a crime and the perp not caught or set free on a technicality or incompetence ... and a person being the "victim" of a crime and the "perp" not even going on trial because of their own misdoings (not reporting the crime until 30 years later, etc). Maybe that "perp" didn't even do it (or anything at all), but here in the US, a person accused of a sex crime is a sex offender whether they did it or not.

Sex offenders are pretty much the most hated people in the country and it doesn't matter if they were 18 with a 17 year old partner or a 65 year old preying on 3-5 year old children. They all get labeled as "sex offender", get put on the registry and made out to be the scum of the earth. This is assuming they are found or plead guilty to the charges. If they aren't found or plead guilty, the public will still think of them as a sex offender and their reputation is ruined for life.

There was a horrific traffic accident near here the week (google dunking donuts, 2 dead, Reading if you want to know more). A truck driver fell asleep at the wheel, crossed the center lane and hit multiple vehicles.  Killing two.  Injuring nine.  I believe.  The news sources all reported that the truck driver was a registered sex offender.  I guess that was a contributing cause  to the accident and totally relevant to the media.

Hunter  GWPB wrote:

There was a horrific traffic accident near here the week (google dunking donuts, 2 dead, Reading if you want to know more). A truck driver fell asleep at the wheel, crossed the center lane and hit multiple vehicles.  Killing two.  Injuring nine.  I believe.  The news sources all reported that the truck driver was a registered sex offender.  I guess that was a contributing cause  to the accident and totally relevant to the media.

This was irrelevant!

Jerry Nemeth wrote:
This was irrelevant!

Kind of why I brought up the story.
It says something about our society.
So does the Cosby story.

Lovely Day Media wrote:

First and foremost, these aren't "my rules" for how to deal with being raped. It just makes sense that if someone rapes someone, there is no need to wait 30 years to report it. That may well be "just my opinion", but if one wants the perp caught, it makes sense.

Next .. if/when someone touches me inappropriately (IMO), I ask them to take their hands off me. If they won't or don't, I tell them to take their hands off me. If they won't or don't, I tell them violence is about to ensue. If they won't or don't, we become 2 fighting people and I'm doing what I can to make sure they remember not to touch me anymore. It doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman. If I tell them to take their hands off me, I mean it. There is no need to punch a woman in the face hard enough to break a bone in most cases, but there are some that require such force.

I had a teacher in the 4th grade who wouldn't keep her lips off me. I asked her to stop, I told her to stop, I threatened violence. She wouldn't stop until I tried hitting her with a chair. My parents got a phone call and I got in major trouble at home for that. They asked me why I did it and I said she wouldn't keep her lips off me. They said she's "just being nice". When I asked why she couldn't "just be nice" to someone else, they said shut up and just do what she says. 

Every grown woman I've ever met knows how to slap a person. They certainly know how to spit on a person. If that doesn't get their attention, an overhand right (or left) should do the trick. If it's a brutal and/or violent rape it might not stop the assault but in cases of harassment (touching inappropriately, etc), it seems that it would or should. 

I agree that it shouldn't have to come to that but there is a fine line between bold and cocky ... legal and illegal.  If a man touches a woman and she likes it, all is okay. If she doesn't like it, she should say so right then instead of waiting 30 years to sue someone after 20 other women have come forward.

And here we have in quite a lot of words the reason that so many rapes go unreported.

Congratulations.