This thread was locked on 2021-09-14 04:33:13
Forums > Model Colloquy > Models: Do you have a jealous boyfriend?

Photographer

Farenell Photography

Posts: 18832

Albany, New York, US

Megan Tomas wrote:
I've been modeling for much longer than my boyfriend and I have been dating (1 year) and his jealousy still can't seem to simmer down.... Btw, I am VERY serious about modeling.

NO, I do NOT allow him to come to shoots with me, so photographers don't worry!!  It seems as if EVERY single time I get a great modeling opportunity, instead of congratulating me,  he gets so mad!

Don't delude yourself.

If it weren't about your modeling, it'd be something else whether its you chilling w/ other guy-friends, the amount of time not spent w/ him, you periodically wanting to do your own thing, whatever.

You've got four good options...

1. You can learn to live w/ it. Maybe you think the benefits of being w/ him outweigh the grief he gives you.

2. Incorporate him into your shoots (say like "couple/relationship" shots. For many jealous boyfriends, its the unknown of what goes on & they may not realize how clinical & boring shoots can be.

3. Kick him to the curb.

4. Both of you get some sort of professional counseling to work through this problem.

Aug 08 11 06:49 am Link

Photographer

Art of the nude

Posts: 12065

Olivet, Michigan, US

Megan Tomas wrote:
Thank you guys so much for responding..

Well, he's 18. I guess he's kinda young too? But age really doesn't have anything to do with this. I've asked him what he's jealous of... he doesn't care about the photo views, photographers or anything like that. He gets mad (and this is going to sound crazy) because he thinks HE should be the only thing in my life?

Uh, no. It's either he's okay with me modeling, or I'm done with him.

I am EXTREMELY serious about modeling. It's what I plan to be my future.. It's what I want to do with my life.

Thanks for helping guys =]

So; he wants to be the only thing in your life.  The first couple weeks, that's charming.  Much beyond that, it starts heading for scary territory.

Aug 08 11 09:04 am Link

Photographer

Art of the nude

Posts: 12065

Olivet, Michigan, US

Vaudeville wrote:
Were he simply jealous I'd agree with you. And I still think they should talk, but:

She mentioned that he wants to be the only thing in her life. That goes past simply jealousy and delves into dangerously controlling waters, IMO. That's not a good element to have in what should be a healthy, happy relationship.

Alisyn Carliene wrote:
yeah.. sounds like "Let's get married and you be my slave. you're not allowed to work. just make children and do what i want." It is selfish. and thanks for mentioning, I'll be honest I somehow skipped through that part.

But, if she has children, she might spend time and attention on THEM!!!

OK, we're a bit beyond the OP's situation, but . . .

Aug 08 11 09:08 am Link

Photographer

Art of the nude

Posts: 12065

Olivet, Michigan, US

Megan Tomas wrote:
But age really doesn't have anything to do with this.

Image K wrote:
No, it has everything to do with this. You are WAY too young to have the type of boyfriend that is trying to impede your development and progress as a model.

At what age is that a good thing?

Aug 08 11 09:13 am Link

Photographer

Art of the nude

Posts: 12065

Olivet, Michigan, US

David-Thomas wrote:
Well, I think it's important for you to identify his concerns and deal with them.

I had a girlfriend who did modelling on the internet - I was unhappy about it, and I told her I wanted her to stop. I had good reasons, and they had absolutely nothing to do with jealousy. And she stopped - she doesn't model any more.

You need to identify the problem before finding the solution.

Not jealousy, just control?

Aug 08 11 09:17 am Link

Model

Belle Etrange

Posts: 1

Victoria, British Columbia, Canada

How about the other way around, anyone jealous of a photographer partner? In either scenario, my advice is simple: break up. He or she shouldn't have to stop what they were doing before they met you, and you shouldn't have to feel upset or insecure in a relationship. So just end it, move along and find someone more compatible. There's literally 1000s of fish in the sea!

Sep 14 21 12:16 am Link

Photographer

Paolo D Photography

Posts: 11425

San Francisco, California, US

Belle Etrange wrote:
How about the other way around, anyone jealous of a photographer partner? In either scenario, my advice is simple: break up. He or she shouldn't have to stop what they were doing before they met you, and you shouldn't have to feel upset or insecure in a relationship. So just end it, move along and find someone more compatible. There's literally 1000s of fish in the sea!

the thread you bumped to make that reply is over a decade old.
typically the behavior of digging up old threads is frowned upon.
welcome to the forums smile

Sep 14 21 02:16 am Link